Do I make myself absolutely crystal clear?

'The less there is to say, the longer it should take to say it because the rule is that he who talks the most wins'
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The Independent Online

The talent for managerial afflatus is the cornerstone of a modern career. The less there is to say, the longer it should take to say it because the rule is that he who has talked most, wins.

The talent for managerial afflatus is the cornerstone of a modern career. The less there is to say, the longer it should take to say it because the rule is that he who has talked most, wins.

Interviewee: "Let me make this perfectly clear in the simplest possible terms. You're looking at the question from the wrong angle. What we've always said, and we've never made any secret of it, is that this is a complex matter and we all know there are a lot of people out there who think a simple solution is possible, so it's important this is settled once and for all, let me just say that we'll be consulting them, that's a non-negotiable undertaking. I'm sorry if you don't like it, it's the way we operate in a democracy. We will take soundings across the whole spectrum of society, because this is a government for everyone and not just the few, if I can just finish, if you don't mind, you've asked the question, I think it merits an answer, let me repeat the position, I've been crystal clear on this before: I don't answer hypothetical questions.

Blooper script: This was the moment when Jerry Hall's brain finally served divorce papers on her voice box.

Board meetings: "To be honest, I don't disagree in any essential sense with what's been said this morning, but with this important caveat. A prudential sense of identifying the possible negatives, the fish hooks, is the non-executive's most important role here, but, it must be emphasised, insofar as we do not inhibit the creative drive that is the essence of our business. We must be crystal clear about that.

Art crit: Blue is a painting that confidently says: "I am blue, that's all I am!" Its single-minded monochromicity is confrontational. It repeatedly poses the simplest question everywhere you look: "Have you ever really seen blue before?" And by so rigorously (almost at an ideological level) excluding all other colours, Blue contains the seeds of its own irony by which it actually affirms, dramatises the diversity of the polychrome.

Sex worker: Yes, oh yes, that's so good, oh you're so big, oh you're incredible, oh yes, oh god, oh my god, oh do it to me, so big, so good, oh yes, oh hello Cherie, I'm working actually, can you call me back, if my battery's not run down, I don't know if I put the recharger on, the coverage isn't great when the battery's low but I think it's OK because the network's better because now it's so big, oh god, so big, it's incredible, oh yes, oh god, incredible...

24-hour news channels: In this update, we'll return to that report from Washington in just a minute. In just a few minutes. While the situation which we are bringing to you live continues to evolve over the next hours and days, maybe even weeks. The uncertainties develop. The world watches. There is some speculation coming through that those uncertainties we've mentioned before are moving towards that resolution. Yet others are becoming more apparent. More on that as the story breaks.

Weather forecasters: It will be unsettled with the promise of some clearing skies and the possibility of showers.

Foreign secretary: We will only surrender vetoes where it is in our country's national interest to do so.

Mission statement: By maintaining a dedicated focus on customer needs, maintaining staff morale, building teams, striving for excellence in cutting costs and word-of-mouth marketing to be nothing less than the first choice for customers everywhere.

School report: Jeremy has contributed to class activities this term, showing awareness of others, negotiating with his peer group and appearing in all the national module targets' band-range of achievement values.

Poetry: Thou still unravish'd Bride of Silence...

Departmental: A cross-cutting review across all departments and reporting to the committee will establish the reprioritisation procedure to be adopted in the next three financial periods and will take account of autonomous partnerships co-ordinating local needs with national strategies to bring resources to the people who need it most.

Platform announcement: The train arriving at platform six is late arriving due to delays.

simoncarr75@hotmail.com

Miles Kington is on holiday

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