The Sketch: Clare Short gives us a lesson on double standards

Oona King, in the second bench back, patted the International Development Secretary on the shoulder. It was a gesture of support.

But then she found Clare Short had grabbed her hand and was starting to kiss it. Licking it, my colleague observed, queasily. The Secretary of State was showing us one of humanity's more primitive instincts. Actually, it's pre-human. Trust me, I've been reading genetics recently. That's what small creatures used to do to their parents to make them throw up food all over them. It still works pretty well, I'd say. Oona didn't throw up, but we did.

"There is anger about double standards in the wider region," Ms Short said, and the pens in the press gallery flew across the page. Double standards. Clare Short said there was "anger" about "double standards". No, it's beyond satire.

Her Conservative shadow didn't help us. This amiable children's presenter said, to widespread noises of disappointment, that she didn't intend to dwell on the personal difficulties of the Secretary of State. Why the blithering dickens not? What did she think we were there for?

Ms Short retorted quite without shame: "I've had absolutely no personal difficulties.

"I've had some concerns, but now that we're clear, there's no problem whatsoever." She'd had some concerns! She rocked the Government, if you remember, denouncing its leader for recklessness. There were 48 pre-war hours in which it looked as though she held the Prime Minister's future, the Government's future, the future of our entire regional influence in her hands. The left was about to come howling out of the hovel it's been banged up in for a decade and then she slammed the door in their faces. "There's no problem whatsoever." No wonder she was licking Oona. Was that why she said: "We must come together and stop blaming each other"? No, it's well beyond satire.

Tony Blair returned in triumph from a Euro-summit which was by all accounts a disaster. He reassured us that he commanded a substantial majority of European opinion. He laughingly dismissed Tory attempts to get him to say anything rude about the French or Europe's common defence policy. That is a very impressive measure of the man's ability. He unwaveringly asserts his commitment to the leadership that has repudiated him and humiliated his efforts to become the bridge between Europe and America (President Jacques Chirac's nemesis being driven mainly by Mr Blair's hubris).

But looking at the poise and control of Mr Blair you can almost believe he can reshape Europe, especially with the help of those 10 accession countries, all of whom are pro-American, pro-British and pretty Franco-German-sceptical. Mr Blair is extraordinarily good at making friends. His brilliant career is based on this most basic of political talents. M. Chirac better watch out. When our Prime Minister makes friends someone's head is going to roll.

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