Unaware of Mars's admirable commitment to promoting healthy living during a recent weekend in Edinburgh, I stuffed my face with one of its finest deep-fried bars.
I felt dirty before walking into the nearest chip shop, dirtier still as I made my order (it had not been on the menu) and as dirty as I ever have while I devoured the thing like a pelican might a herring.
But my God it was good. The crisp golden batter cracked between my teeth, its fragments stirring the molten chocolate and nougat within. Sweet complemented savoury, crunch matched caramel and carbohydrates met fat in glorious, mouth-coating symphony.
My advice to Mars: forget healthy living – that's not what you're for – and find a way to deep fry the rest of your products. M&M nuggets? Yes please. Battered Bounty? Now you're talking.