Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg’s battle of the billionaires is an ego trip worth taking

If these two want to punch each other in the face to satisfy some outlandish sense of personal fulfilment, I’m not going to complain. If anything, I hope more billionaires take their lead

Say what you will about Elon Musk – I know I have – but the man is entertaining at the very least.

When he isn’t ruining social media with bizarre new edicts or making rockets explode, he’s an excellent source of good old fashioned rich person lunacy.

The latest episode of the seemingly never-ending Musk saga is a real doozy, as the Tesla CEO has challenged fellow uncanny billionaire Mark Zuckerberg to a cage fight – a challenge which his brother in wealth hoarding has, perhaps surprisingly, accepted.

Musk first proposed the match up earlier this month, when it emerged that Zuckerberg’s company Meta was working on a rival to his own Twitter platform. Zuckerberg later responded with a screenshot of Musk’s tweet, with the caption “send me the location”, to which Musk answered “Vegas Octagon”, in reference to the UFC Apex centre in Nevada.

While Musk is known for impulsive call outs and general big leaguing of celebrities – engaging in Twitter spats with public figures as varied and eclectic as Stephen King, Bernie Sanders and Azealia Banks in the past – this is the first time one of his feuds has had the potential to spill out of his online empire and into our fragile meat space. Similarly, while Zuckerberg gets a lot of flack for his abortive attempts to pass as human, it’s pretty unusual to see him do something this bizarrely impulsive (terrible VR games aside).

What’s strangest of all though is the fact that we’ve become so desensitized to the wealthiest among us risking their reputations and bodies in wild stunts like this. I don’t know about you, but if I had even a fraction of either man’s wealth you’d never hear from me again, because I’d have spent it all on building a working recreation of the Megazord from Power Rangers, and at that point what else is there to do?

While the story of Musk and Zuckerberg bizarre enough to be quite funny, it sits stark contrast to this week’s other tale of billionaire folly, which saw Stockton Rush, the CEO of OceanGate Expeditions, board a submersible vessel with four other passengers and go missing while exploring the wreckage of the Titanic. Rush’s company has come under intense scrutiny this week, with allegations of unsafe practices in the sub’s construction and operation dominating coverage of rescue efforts.

There is no humour to be derived from the Titan’s situation (no matter what edgy teens on Twitter tell you). We now believe that Rush and his passengers have sadly been lost after a debris field was discovered during the search. These stories of ultra-wealthy men risking it all for comparatively little gain does beg the question, though – why do billionaires do these things? They have all the money in the world. Surely they want for nothing. What makes them play these dangerous games?

That’s not really a question I’m equipped to answer – I’m permanently in my overdraft, and the closest I’ve ever come to being a billionaire is abusing the “motherlode” cheat in The Sims – but it’s interesting that it seems to keep happening. We have this vision of the mega rich in our minds, as these wild hedonists who can achieve their hearts’ desire with a click of their perfectly manicured fingers. But – and it goes against every political instinct in my body to say this – they are human.

I’ve spent most of my life pretty poor, and in those moments of desperation you convince yourself that all you need to be happy is a roof over your head, hot food and the occasional small luxury. Your hierarchy of needs becomes disproportionately bottom-heavy, and you resent people who live lavish lifestyles because you know how little it really takes to be happy (or at least content).

When your earnings increase, though, you don’t magically become satisfied with your life because you can suddenly afford to live a little easier. You just realise how much of your life was built on compromises, and staving off poverty, and your priorities change in line with your means.

If these incidents tell us anything, it’s that there isn’t a ceiling on how much those wants and needs can change. I don’t want to be a walking cliché, but maybe money really doesn’t buy happiness.

Don’t get me wrong, it certainly helps, but an impressive bank balance clearly doesn’t lead to personal fulfilment. If it did, we wouldn’t be sat here talking about the prospect of a real life Battle of the Billionaires. Hell, we probably wouldn’t have billionaires at all; we’d just have millionaires whose names we don’t know, because they spend all their time going “pew pew” while they pretend to drive their replica Megazords.

But hey, if Musk and Zuckerberg want to punch each other in the face to satisfy some outlandish sense of personal fulfilment, I’m not going to complain. If anything, I hope more billionaires take their lead. It might not bring them any spiritual satisfaction, but it sure as hell is going to bring me some.