I’m blocking my boss on Instagram – and so should you

It’s hard enough maintaining a good work/life balance – I don’t need to feel self-conscious while I’m tweeting inane nonsense in my spare time

I sometimes think it’s a bit weird that we talk about “social media” as if it’s some kind of monolith. I don’t know about you, but my experiences across different platforms tend to be completely different to one another; and that’s largely because I’m a completely different person depending on which platform I’m using.

I’m not just talking about how I’m more professional on LinkedIn, where the site has a specific purpose that tailors my online presence for me. For some reason, even the more “catch-all” sites have developed a specific utility for me, and as such have been populated with a specific version of myself.

Facebook is for ignoring 95 per cent of the year until I finally have something to brag about, because that’s where I keep all my older relatives and the people I went to high school with. Instagram is for lying about how good my life is all year round, because that’s where I keep all my current friends and I know they’ll never call me out on my delusions. Twitter is for arguing, because it’s a failed state ruled by teenage Nazis.

Having everybody sorted into neat little piles like that not only makes things easier for me, but reduces the risk of harm. I’m not going to add my mum on Twitter, because she doesn’t need to see me yell at William Shatner for saying something problematic. I’m not adding my friends in LinkedIn, because I don’t want them to make fun of me for wearing a suit. And I’m sure as hell not going to add my boss on Instagram, because she doesn’t need to see me passed out in a Wetherspoons dressed like the Demon from KISS.

That last one is more relevant than ever at the moment, as the former boss of the Confederation of British Industry (CBI) Tony Danker was hit with misconduct allegations and fired from his position for, among other things, inappropriate behaviour on social media. According to Danker, his termination letter specifically cited “viewing the Instagram accounts of CBI staff” as one of the reasons for his dismissal.

We can’t know for sure what exactly Danker’s behaviour entailed (Brian McBride, president of the CBI, said Danker was "selective" in his description of allegations), but it does raise the question of whether viewing somebody’s public Instagram account is a bridge too far in an employer/employee relationship.

If you’re a little older, that probably sounds like a pretty absurd proposition; if the pictures are public, surely that means it’s open season for any random user to view them?

That’s fair enough, but there’s still something inherently uncomfortable about knowing your boss wants to get a peek into your private life. If you post a public story on Instagram (which disappears after 24 hours and is separate from the main feed), there’s nothing more bone-chilling than looking at the list of people who viewed it and seeing a profile you don’t recognise. Or worse, a profile for somebody you know, but don’t have on Instagram.

There’s a whole world of social media etiquette that some of us understand implicitly, but have probably never bothered to verbalise. Journalist Harry Wallop recently gave an example of this on Twitter, asking whether a boss “liking” an employee’s post crosses a line. Is that a “creepy” thing for them to do? What if they send an emoji? Do different emojis have different, fixed connotations? What if it’s a bikini picture? Does it still matter that it’s been made publicly available for all to see?

Maybe it’s because “liking” a picture implies a level of intent that other forms of interactions don’t. It’s like prodding the user, saying, “hey, just so you know, this is the kind of thing that I’m into.” Is that always necessarily the case? Of course not. But that’s why we need to be so careful; it’s impossible to know how the other person is going to take the gesture. After all, who among us hasn’t “liked” a picture of somebody we fancy to try and get their attention?

I’ve had employers make themselves known to me on social media, and it always feels vaguely threatening when they do. It’s hard enough maintaining a good work/life balance; I don’t need to feel self-conscious while I’m tweeting inane nonsense in my spare time. I’ve even gotten in trouble for social media posts in the past, despite having a firm “no bosses on Twitter (unless they’re cool)” policy.

I also used to teach, which meant that for a period of time I effectively wasn’t allowed a social media presence, lest some poor impressionable teen learn that I have a life outside of teaching them Carol Ann Duffy poems. I completely understand why – there’s an issue of safeguarding – but it’s strange to cut yourself off from what has become an integral part of everyday communication because a student might find that picture of you wearing a traffic cone on your head at university.

Social media etiquette is a minefield, and the only thing we can do to navigate it safely is not engage at all. Keep your social media use to a small circle, don’t say anything online you wouldn’t be comfortable saying to a person’s face, and above all else, don’t add anybody from work on Instagram.

It’s unreasonable to not expect us to use social media at all, but we can at least mitigate its dangers. And hey, maybe we’ll get lucky; hopefully soon Musk and Zuckerberg will finally finish the job and make the vast majority of them completely unusable.