Diary: Bookies get behind Pippa

After dipping a tentative toe yesterday into the "Arse-Gate" furore that erupted following game old girl Carol Vorderman's surprise triumph at the Rear of the Year awards this week, I had hoped that the matter would now be closed.

Unfortunately, nothing could be further from the truth. With critics already crying foul after hot favourite Pippa Middleton was denied her "rightful crown", now a couple of the nation's leading bookmakers have waded in, announcing they are refunding all losing bets placed on her before Wednesday's now officially controversial result. "Pippa winning the 2011 Rear of the Year was a greater certainty than Usain Bolt winning a one-man race," calmly suggests a spokesman for Paddy Power.

Meanwhile, suspicious folk over at William Hill point out that Carol was a "50-1 outsider" prior to her shock win. "How can Pippa's 230,000 arse-appreciation followers be wrong?" they add. Clearly this is one scandal that won't be going away soon – although judging by the frankly lecherous feedback I received from certain readers after yesterday's report, it's only fair to acknowledge that Carol certainly has plenty of fans among you.

* "Needless to say... I had the last laugh," frequently declared one Alan Partridge in his long forgotten memoir Bouncing Back. Now fellow national treasure Piers Morgan is proudly singing from a similar hymn sheet, gleefully informing his detractors that he's actually doing bloody brilliantly in America thank you very much, and that anyone who suggests otherwise is a pathetic, jealous idiot! For those of you not lucky enough to have witnessed his ongoing "banter" with the increasingly infirm Lord Sugar on Twitter in recent months, I should quickly recap. While "Shugs" points out that he's been really, really, rich for a long time, he also reckons cocky Piers is going to fall flat on his face very soon. Then comes the twist, because Piers isn't going to take this nonsense lying down. He tells us that not only is Lord Sugar really, really ancient, but that his television career is a damn sight bigger than anything Siralan could ever dream of! Just yesterday he proudly announced: "350 million peak (global estimated) for CNN show last night – Lord Sugar 8.2 million." With facts like that, I don't think anyone can doubt what a class act Piers truly is.

* Tory headbanger David Davies has long struck me as a man potentially worth worrying about. (No, not David Davis, I'm talking about the other Conservative MP most people haven't heard of). Davies, among other things a keen amateur boxer, has caused a stir in the Welsh press after volunteering to spar with young ruffians in his Monmouth constituency in order to knock them into shape. Still, I don't doubt that a life in the ring might have saved the excitable David from potential trouble elsewhere. As local deputy headmaster Andy Williams movingly tells the Western Mail: "There is no doubt in my mind that he would have ended up in prison if his aggression had not been diverted into boxing." Such is my admiration of Davies's often misunderstood talents, I only subsequently realised Mr Williams was in fact talking about a troublesome former pupil rather than his eccentric local MP by this stage of the article.

* With his tabloid enemies circling once more, it's been yet another trying week for Justice Secretary Ken Clarke. What with Dave (PM) having been obliged to tear up daft old Uncle Ken's plans to reform prison sentences, not to mention the recent pickle he got himself into over the rape laws, critics are keen to suggest that it's time for Clarke to take a bow and head for the beer gardens of his native Nottinghamshire at the earliest opportunity. Ken's allies defiantly point out that their man is "long beyond having sleepless nights" about his political future. Indeed, they tell me that Ken has already privately assured friends that it "won't be a traumatic moment in his life" should he get the chop.

* Following my report yesterday concerning our Prime Minister's latest running exploits with top trainer Matt Roberts, it seems his long-serving parliamentary private secretary – and one time jogging partner – Desmond Swayne has been rather frozen out. Still, Swayne's athletic reputation never quite recovered from strong rumours he always felt obliged to let the ultra-competitive Dave win whenever they raced.

Start your day with The Independent, sign up for daily news emails
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs People

Guru Careers: Graduate Resourcer / Recruitment Account Executive

£18k + Bonus: Guru Careers: We are seeking a bright, enthusiastic and internet...

Reach Volunteering: Chair and trustees sought for YMCA Bolton

VOLUNTARY ONLY - EXPENSES REIMBURSED: Reach Volunteering: Bolton YMCA is now a...

Tradewind Recruitment: Geography Teacher

£150 - £180 per day: Tradewind Recruitment: Geography Teacher Geography teach...

Tradewind Recruitment: Geography Teacher

£150 - £180 per day: Tradewind Recruitment: Geography Teacher Geography teach...

Day In a Page

Sun, sex and an anthropological study: One British academic's summer of hell in Magaluf

Sun, sex and an anthropological study

One academic’s summer of hell in Magaluf
From Shakespeare to Rising Damp... to Vicious

Frances de la Tour's 50-year triumph

'Rising Damp' brought De la Tour such recognition that she could be forgiven if she'd never been able to move on. But at 70, she continues to flourish - and to beguile
'That Whitsun, I was late getting away...'

Ian McMillan on the Whitsun Weddings

This weekend is Whitsun, and while the festival may no longer resonate, Larkin's best-loved poem, lives on - along with the train journey at the heart of it
Kathryn Williams explores the works and influences of Sylvia Plath in a new light

Songs from the bell jar

Kathryn Williams explores the works and influences of Sylvia Plath
How one man's day in high heels showed him that Cannes must change its 'no flats' policy

One man's day in high heels

...showed him that Cannes must change its 'flats' policy
Is a quiet crusade to reform executive pay bearing fruit?

Is a quiet crusade to reform executive pay bearing fruit?

Dominic Rossi of Fidelity says his pressure on business to control rewards is working. But why aren’t other fund managers helping?
The King David Hotel gives precious work to Palestinians - unless peace talks are on

King David Hotel: Palestinians not included

The King David is special to Jerusalem. Nick Kochan checked in and discovered it has some special arrangements, too
More people moving from Australia to New Zealand than in the other direction for first time in 24 years

End of the Aussie brain drain

More people moving from Australia to New Zealand than in the other direction for first time in 24 years
Meditation is touted as a cure for mental instability but can it actually be bad for you?

Can meditation be bad for you?

Researching a mass murder, Dr Miguel Farias discovered that, far from bringing inner peace, meditation can leave devotees in pieces
Eurovision 2015: Australians will be cheering on their first-ever entrant this Saturday

Australia's first-ever Eurovision entrant

Australia, a nation of kitsch-worshippers, has always loved the Eurovision Song Contest. Maggie Alderson says it'll fit in fine
Letterman's final Late Show: Laughter, but no tears, as David takes his bow after 33 years

Laughter, but no tears, as Letterman takes his bow after 33 years

Veteran talkshow host steps down to plaudits from four presidents
Ivor Novello Awards 2015: Hozier wins with anti-Catholic song 'Take Me To Church' as John Whittingdale leads praise for Black Sabbath

Hozier's 'blasphemous' song takes Novello award

Singer joins Ed Sheeran and Clean Bandit in celebration of the best in British and Irish music
Tequila gold rush: The spirit has gone from a cheap shot to a multi-billion pound product

Join the tequila gold rush

The spirit has gone from a cheap shot to a multi-billion pound product
12 best statement wallpapers

12 best statement wallpapers

Make an impact and transform a room with a conversation-starting pattern
Paul Scholes column: Does David De Gea really want to leave Manchester United to fight it out for the No 1 spot at Real Madrid?

Paul Scholes column

Does David De Gea really want to leave Manchester United to fight it out for the No 1 spot at Real Madrid?