Diary: Morrissey disgruntled again

As this column reported a mere fortnight ago, the terminally disgruntled Morrissey (né Smith) rained on the royal wedding parade, telling Radio 4's Front Row that the Windsors were "benefit scroungers and nothing else. I don't believe they serve any purpose whatsoever". The glum one has since released a rare statement via his website accusing the BBC of "Iranian censorship" for having "chopped and cropped" the interview, and thus "confiscated" his opinions. Morrissey, it seems, was especially irate that the media all but ignored the death of punk musician Poly Styrene in favour of "blubbering praise" for Kate Middleton. Warming to his Middle Eastern theme, he controversially went on: "The message is clear: What you achieve in life means nothing compared to what you are born into. Is this Syria?? [sic]"

Incidentally, Morrissey has a Very Best Of LP out this month, and I'm delighted to be able to grant him the free publicity.

* Future national treasure Stephen Graham – star of This is England and Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides – is less than impressed by the super-injunctions of some fellow actors. "That injunction stuff is a load of bollocks," the televisual tough guy told me at the Bafta Craft Awards. "Everyone's human. We all make mistakes, but deal with it. A lot of couples out there have to deal with it so why should it be any different [for celebrities]?" Luckily for this gossip columnist, Graham shares none of [REDACTED]'s qualms about revealing the details of his sex life. "I have a boy and a girl," Graham says of his children. "I want to concentrate on them – and I don't want any more. So I'm going to get the snip soon. But the wife knows, and she's fine about it."

* James Corden's claim that George (né Gideon) Osborne was the wittiest of his green room companions at The Andrew Marr Show was greeted with some scepticism, but I can well believe it – and not just because the only other people in said green room were Messrs Clegg and Miliband (E). Gideon, of course, once crafted jokes for former Tory leader William Hague when he faced Blair at PMQs. What's more, I'm assured the young fellow was green with envy at his master taking all the credit as Westminster's Funniest Man, c.1999. Alas, judging by Gideon's own lacklustre performance at the Despatch Box (describing renowned Labour self-portraitist Chris Bryant MP as a "pantomime dame", for example), he's a lot funnier in the green room than he is on the stage.

* Based on her bullish encounter with Bryant, her apparent dismissal of anti-Coalition protests, and the Blair-esque philandering PM in her soft-porn novel First Ladies, many accuse Sky News presenter Kay "Hurly" Burley of Tory bias. Not a bit of it, claimed the erstwhile ice dancer on Richard Bacon's radio show yesterday. Her 18-year-old son voted one way at the election, she told Bacon, and she voted the other. Aha, her host cried, surely the young man is a leftie student? Not necessarily, she replied – just the other day, her son had said, cryptically, "Mum, I think I'm a natural Conservative." (And I'm sure he'll appreciate her revealing as much to the public.) "Nobody," she claimed, "knows how I vote." With a pencil, Kay. With a pencil.

* A footnote to Fart-gate, from The Guardian's venerable Michael White, who was first with the news of Danny Alexander's illicit trading of emissions in an empty Sky News studio. "Sources told me too late for my own deadline," White kindly informs this column, "that Sky staff maliciously allowed Andy Burnham – the father of young children – to use Danny Alexander's polluted studio after the miscreant had left, without warning him that it was a toxic site."

* Despite his party's drubbing at last week's local elections, former Sheffield Council leader Paul Scriven can, I'm told, look forward to a new life in the Lords. Unlike so many Lib Dems, Scriven has stuck by his chum and Sheffield neighbour, Nick "29 Shags" Clegg, through thick and thin – and Clegg will be keen to reward him. Should he be made to wait for the feel of ermine at his neck, however, sources suggest Scriven could try his hand in the music business. Locally, he is "fondly" remembered as the star of a music video advertising Sheffield's Mercure Hotel, in which he crooned an inadvisable cover version of Lou Reed's "Perfect Day".


Start your day with The Independent, sign up for daily news emails
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs People

Ashdown Group: Human Resources Manager

£28000 - £35000 per annum + Benefits: Ashdown Group: A successful organisation...

Recruitment Genius: Internal Recruiter - Manufacturing

£20000 - £30000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: An Internal Recruiter (manufact...

Ashdown Group: HR Manager (CIPD) - Barking / East Ham - £50-55K

£50000 - £55000 per annum + 25 days holidays & benefits: Ashdown Group: HR Man...

Recruitment Genius: Operations / Project Manager

£40000 - £48000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This software company specialis...

Day In a Page

Isis profits from destruction of antiquities by selling relics to dealers - and then blowing up the buildings they come from to conceal the evidence of looting

How Isis profits from destruction of antiquities

Robert Fisk on the terrorist group's manipulation of the market to increase the price of artefacts
Labour leadership: Andy Burnham urges Jeremy Corbyn voters to think again in last-minute plea

'If we lose touch we’ll end up with two decades of the Tories'

In an exclusive interview, Andy Burnham urges Jeremy Corbyn voters to think again in last-minute plea
Tunisia fears its Arab Spring could be reversed as the new regime becomes as intolerant of dissent as its predecessor

The Arab Spring reversed

Tunisian protesters fear that a new law will whitewash corrupt businessmen and officials, but they are finding that the new regime is becoming as intolerant of dissent as its predecessor
King Arthur: Legendary figure was real and lived most of his life in Strathclyde, academic claims

Academic claims King Arthur was real - and reveals where he lived

Dr Andrew Breeze says the legendary figure did exist – but was a general, not a king
Who is Oliver Bonas and how has he captured middle-class hearts?

Who is Oliver Bonas?

It's the first high-street store to pay its staff the living wage, and it saw out the recession in style
Earth has 'lost more than half its trees' since humans first started cutting them down

Axe-wielding Man fells half the world’s trees – leaving us just 422 each

However, the number of trees may be eight times higher than previously thought
60 years of Scalextric: Model cars are now stuffed with as much tech as real ones

60 years of Scalextric

Model cars are now stuffed with as much tech as real ones
Theme parks continue to draw in thrill-seekers despite the risks - so why are we so addicted?

Why are we addicted to theme parks?

Now that Banksy has unveiled his own dystopian version, Christopher Beanland considers the ups and downs of our endless quest for amusement
Tourism in Iran: The country will soon be opening up again after years of isolation

Iran is opening up again to tourists

After years of isolation, Iran is reopening its embassies abroad. Soon, there'll be the chance for the adventurous to holiday there
10 best PS4 games

10 best PS4 games

Can’t wait for the new round of blockbusters due out this autumn? We played through last year’s offering
Transfer window: Ten things we learnt

Ten things we learnt from the transfer window

Record-breaking spending shows FFP restraint no longer applies
Migrant crisis: UN official Philippe Douste-Blazy reveals the harrowing sights he encountered among refugees arriving on Lampedusa

‘Can we really just turn away?’

Dead bodies, men drowning, women miscarrying – a senior UN figure on the horrors he has witnessed among migrants arriving on Lampedusa, and urges politicians not to underestimate our caring nature
Nine of Syria and Iraq's 10 world heritage sites are in danger as Isis ravages centuries of history

Nine of Syria and Iraq's 10 world heritage sites are in danger...

... and not just because of Isis vandalism
Girl on a Plane: An exclusive extract of the novelisation inspired by the 1970 Palestinian fighters hijack

Girl on a Plane

An exclusive extract of the novelisation inspired by the 1970 Palestinian fighters hijack
Why Frederick Forsyth's spying days could spell disaster for today's journalists

Why Frederick Forsyth's spying days could spell disaster for today's journalists

The author of 'The Day of the Jackal' has revealed he spied for MI6 while a foreign correspondent