Diary: Nappy duty for J-Lo's PA

It's Friday, so it must be J-Lo day. Last week, I reported the rumours that Jennifer Lopez's diva-like demands had so exasperated Fox execs that they struck her from their list of potential new judges on
American Idol. (I illustrated it with a different picture. At least, I hope I did.) This week, said diva-like demands have become a feature of her hunt for a personal assistant. The thoroughly reliable Life & Style "Scene Queens" blog claims Ms Lopez has strict requirements of her staff: "The person has to be graceful under pressure, have a thick skin, and be resourceful in foreign countries... You'll be expected to travel at a moment's notice and know how to adjust in each city." Doesn't sound so bad, and nor does (ahem) helping Ms Lopez "dress for red carpet events and photo shoots". Apparently, the candidate should prepare for 12-hour days and six-day weeks with scarce vacation time, and be comfortable among "very high-profile people". Sounds just like my job. So what's the catch? "You have to change diapers." For £40k? Forget it.

* The indomitable Andy Burnham's "battle bus" is still rolling through the Shires, despite his dwindling chances of becoming Labour leader. At a campaign event in Nottingham on Wednesday, I'm told, one voter asked if he still planned to lobby for the return of Top of the Pops. Absolutely, Andy replied, adding that the BBC was too London-centric, and had lost touch with "ordinary people". "They'd never hire someone like John Peel now," he insisted. The Beeb's recent hiring of Peel's son Tom Ravenscroft to present a weekly 6Music show must have passed poor Andy by.

* Speculation abounds as to the identity of Top Gear's The Stig, whose BBC employers are said to be locked in crisis talks over the potential publication of a memoir exposing the white-helmeted one's true face. Corporation lawyers insist he/she/it is bound by a confidentiality agreement. Could this dispute end up with the Press Complaints Commission? I called the PCC's director Stephen "Stig" Abell to find out. "Not unless someone who's identified as the Stig wishes to complain that it's a misidentification," he replies. Hang on a minute! Your nickname's familiar. Are you...? "No. Sad to say I'm not The Stig from Top Gear." But he would say that, wouldn't he?

* The death of Sir Frank Kermode comes with a poignant footnote: in contrast to many literary giants, his library cannot be preserved for posterity. As he moved house in Cambridge in 1996, the cardboard boxes containing Kermode's collection of 2,500 books were lost to the city's waste-disposal system, thanks to a mix-up made by the removals men. "They were the best of my books," Kermode lamented later. "I went out with the notion of replacing some of them, but I gave it up... You get over it quickly. I remember sitting outside the house thinking this was the worst day of my life, but shortly began thinking of all sorts of things that were much worse."

* Nick Clegg's Wednesday photocall at Shepherds Bush Families Project seemed to go rather well, judging by the charming snaps in several papers of the Deputy PM making pizza with the children. What the accompanying articles about his social-mobility speech failed to mention is that Clegg was confronted by local Labour MP Andy Slaughter, and a number of parents, over the £44,000 cuts to the centre's budget by the local Conservative-led council – which is considering selling the building. Coalition cuts to the Sure Start budget could have a calamitous effect, too: as he left, a chastened Clegg was handed a stack of "Please Don't Close Our Centre" cards made by the children. Nice to know those arts and crafts sessions are going to good use.

* A remorseful letter from an unnamed correspondent appears in the Herts and Essex Observer: "To the lady standing next to me at Coopers of Stortford's country show on Saturday, if I had known it was your Victoria sponge I wouldn't have been so rude about it. I am very sorry and apologise for upsetting you." Any further details from witnesses to this cake-based confrontation gratefully received at the above email address.


Start your day with The Independent, sign up for daily news emails
  • Get to the point
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs People

Recruitment Genius: HR Manager

£36000 - £45000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is an exciting opportunity...

Ashdown Group: HR Manager Shared Services - Uxbridge, - 1 Year contract

£50000 per annum: Ashdown Group: HR Manager Shared Services - Uxbridge, Stock...

Recruitment Genius: Graduate Human Resource Officer and Executive Assistant

Negotiable: Recruitment Genius: This is an exciting opportunity to join one of...

Ashdown Group: HR Assistant (Events business) - Central Manchester - £20K

£18000 - £20000 per annum + Benefits: Ashdown Group: HR Assistant (Events busi...

Day In a Page

Fishing for votes with Nigel Farage: The Ukip leader shows how he can work an audience as he casts his line to the disaffected of Grimsby

Fishing is on Nigel Farage's mind

Ukip leader casts a line to the disaffected
Who is bombing whom in the Middle East? It's amazing they don't all hit each other

Who is bombing whom in the Middle East?

Robert Fisk untangles the countries and factions
China's influence on fashion: At the top of the game both creatively and commercially

China's influence on fashion

At the top of the game both creatively and commercially
Lord O’Donnell: Former cabinet secretary on the election and life away from the levers of power

The man known as GOD has a reputation for getting the job done

Lord O'Donnell's three principles of rule
Rainbow shades: It's all bright on the night

Rainbow shades

It's all bright on the night
'It was first time I had ever tasted chocolate. I kept a piece, and when Amsterdam was liberated, I gave it to the first Allied soldier I saw'

Bread from heaven

Dutch survivors thank RAF for World War II drop that saved millions
Britain will be 'run for the wealthy and powerful' if Tories retain power - Labour

How 'the Axe' helped Labour

UK will be 'run for the wealthy and powerful' if Tories retain power
Rare and exclusive video shows the horrific price paid by activists for challenging the rule of jihadist extremists in Syria

The price to be paid for challenging the rule of extremists

A revolution now 'consuming its own children'
Welcome to the world of Megagames

Welcome to the world of Megagames

300 players take part in Watch the Skies! board game in London
'Nymphomaniac' actress reveals what it was really like to star in one of the most explicit films ever

Charlotte Gainsbourg on 'Nymphomaniac'

Starring in one of the most explicit films ever
Robert Fisk in Abu Dhabi: The Emirates' out-of-sight migrant workers helping to build the dream projects of its rulers

Robert Fisk in Abu Dhabi

The Emirates' out-of-sight migrant workers helping to build the dream projects of its rulers
Vince Cable interview: Charging fees for employment tribunals was 'a very bad move'

Vince Cable exclusive interview

Charging fees for employment tribunals was 'a very bad move'
Iwan Rheon interview: Game of Thrones star returns to his Welsh roots to record debut album

Iwan Rheon is returning to his Welsh roots

Rheon is best known for his role as the Bastard of Bolton. It's gruelling playing a sadistic torturer, he tells Craig McLean, but it hasn't stopped him recording an album of Welsh psychedelia
Morne Hardenberg interview: Cameraman for BBC's upcoming show Shark on filming the ocean's most dangerous predator

It's time for my close-up

Meet the man who films great whites for a living
Increasing numbers of homeless people in America keep their mobile phones on the streets

Homeless people keep mobile phones

A homeless person with a smartphone is a common sight in the US. And that's creating a network where the 'hobo' community can share information - and fight stigma - like never before