Diary: Revenge on our Hugh

Wily swordsman Hugh Grant doubtlessly thought he was a right old clever dick when he pulled a fast one over that tabloid weasel Paul McMullan the other week.

You might recall that England's finest living actor turned the tables on the ex-News of the Screws hack when he cunningly recorded him making a series of allegations against his former bosses, before promptly getting them published in the New Statesman.

Naturally, those wounded creatures over at News International were never going to take this lying down. Indeed, while I was confident my old mate Hugh had no skeletons in the cupboard whatsoever, I couldn't help worrying just what those grubby people might now try and concoct at his expense.

And then it came: on Sunday the Screws had a "showbiz exclusive" on its front page revealing shocking news that the previously single Hugh is dating a "Chinese beauty called Ting". What's more, "she seemed to be sporting a mysterious bump in her tummy". So there we have it: not only is the unmarried and famously heterosexual Hugh Grant going out with a woman, he might even have got the young lady in question in the family way! Revenge is sweet.

* While an irate Chris Huhne is about as menacing as an angry geography teacher losing control of the class, the gloves are well and truly off in the alternative vote battle. As the increasingly volatile Huhne warns those "No" campaigners that they "won't like him when he's angry", his more mild-mannered Lib Dem colleague Simon – "I'll answer that with six points" – Hughes has been going about the more practical business of complaining to the Electoral Commission about the "untruths" he claims their opponents have been spreading.

This has prompted enemies to squawk that Hughes has considerable "form" on the dodgy political literature front himself. The party's deputy leader has long been haunted by the unprincipled campaign his accomplices waged against Peter Tatchell during the 1983 Bermondsey by-election when the gay rights campaigner was the Labour candidate. The eventually victorious Hughes was controversially billed as the "straight choice" for voters. On being helpfully outed as bisexual by The Sun 23 years later, Simon had to concede his infamous campaign had been ill-judged in more ways than one.

* Still on the AV front, I feel duty-bound to clear up some regrettable confusion surrounding one of my world exclusives last week. Having received some excitable feedback following my report on television's favourite hard man Ross Kemp joining the "No" campaign, I should clarify that as of writing, I had no concrete evidence to suggest that Kemp was planning to "take out Ed Balls" on the orders of low-budget Bond villain Colonel Gideon Osborne – despite, perhaps, suggesting otherwise. Rumours that Gideon has since instructed Ross to "put the frighteners" on the increasingly gobby Chris Huhne are also just that – rumours.



* He has a flourishing television career on both sides of the Atlantic – and a beautiful wife who once turned down my kind offer of a "cheeky Cinzano" – yet Piers Morgan still finds time to entertain us in cyberspace. While normally preoccupied with "joshing" with the increasingly infirm Lord Sugar, this week Piers has been pointing out that new Twitter arrival Wayne Rooney is a bit of a simpleton! What's more, he's even made a point correcting Wazza's bloody hopeless grammar! How long before Wayne learns to spell "knobhead"?

* Knowing how much some of you appreciated me publishing edited highlights of the forthcoming no-holds-barred account of life under Dave (PM) in Total Politics magazine last week, I'm glad to say further gems from this looming exposé have fallen into my hands. Written by The Sun's ex-political editor George Pascoe-Watson, who appears to have lost none of his edge since going into public relations, lucky readers will also be informed: "The PM is remarkably calm in his most private meetings, demonstrating a magisterial confidence that he will have his place in history." We're also assured that despite the considerable daily pressures of life in No 10, Dave has somehow "managed to keep his famous sense of humour". I think I speak for most of us when I say how grateful we are to Mr Pascoe-Watson for taking time out of his busy schedule to remind us that Dave is such a top bloke!

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs People

HR Analyst - Banking - Bristol - £350-£400

£350 - £400 per day: Orgtel: HR Analyst - Banking - Bristol - £350 - £400 per ...

HR Manager - HR Generalist / Sole in HR

£30000 - £35000 per annum + benefits: Ashdown Group: HR Manager - HR Generalis...

Business Analyst - Banking - London - £350-£400

£350 - £400 per day: Orgtel: Business Analyst - Banking - People Change - Lond...

HR Manager - Milton Keynes - £50,000 + package

£48000 - £50000 per annum + car allowance + benefits: Ashdown Group: HR Shared...

Day In a Page

Middle East crisis: We know all too much about the cruelty of Isis – but all too little about who they are

We know all too much about the cruelty of Isis – but all too little about who they are

Now Obama has seen the next US reporter to be threatened with beheading, will he blink, asks Robert Fisk
Neanderthals lived alongside humans for centuries, latest study shows

Final resting place of our Neanderthal neighbours revealed

Bones dated to 40,000 years ago show species may have died out in Belgium species co-existed
Scottish independence: The new Scots who hold fate of the UK in their hands

The new Scots who hold fate of the UK in their hands

Scotland’s immigrants are as passionate about the future of their adopted nation as anyone else
Britain's ugliest buildings: Which monstrosities should be nominated for the Dead Prize?

Blight club: Britain's ugliest buildings

Following the architect Cameron Sinclair's introduction of the Dead Prize, an award for ugly buildings, John Rentoul reflects on some of the biggest blots on the UK landscape
Culture Minister Ed Vaizey: ‘lack of ethnic minority and black faces on TV is weird’

'Lack of ethnic minority and black faces on TV is weird'

Culture Minister Ed Vaizey calls for immediate action to address the problem
Josephine Dickinson: 'A cochlear implant helped me to discover a new world of sound'

Josephine Dickinson: 'How I discovered a new world of sound'

After going deaf as a child, musician and poet Josephine Dickinson made do with a hearing aid for five decades. Then she had a cochlear implant - and everything changed
Greggs Google fail: Was the bakery's response to its logo mishap a stroke of marketing genius?

Greggs gives lesson in crisis management

After a mishap with their logo, high street staple Greggs went viral this week. But, as Simon Usborne discovers, their social media response was anything but half baked
7 best quadcopters and drones

Flying fun: 7 best quadcopters and drones

From state of the art devices with stabilised cameras to mini gadgets that can soar around the home, we take some flying objects for a spin
Andy Murray: I quit while I’m ahead too often

Andy Murray: I quit while I’m ahead too often

British No 1 knows his consistency as well as his fitness needs working on as he prepares for the US Open after a ‘very, very up and down’ year
Ferguson: In the heartlands of America, a descent into madness

A descent into madness in America's heartlands

David Usborne arrived in Ferguson, Missouri to be greeted by a scene more redolent of Gaza and Afghanistan
BBC’s filming of raid at Sir Cliff’s home ‘may be result of corruption’

BBC faces corruption allegation over its Sir Cliff police raid coverage

Reporter’s relationship with police under scrutiny as DG is summoned by MPs to explain extensive live broadcast of swoop on singer’s home
Lauded therapist Harley Mille still in limbo as battle to stay in Britain drags on

Lauded therapist still in limbo as battle to stay in Britain drags on

Australian Harley Miller is as frustrated by court delays as she is with the idiosyncrasies of immigration law
Lewis Fry Richardson's weather forecasts changed the world. But could his predictions of war do the same?

Lewis Fry Richardson's weather forecasts changed the world...

But could his predictions of war do the same?
Kate Bush asks fans not to take photos at her London gigs: 'I want to have contact with the audience, not iPhones'

'I want to have contact with the audience, not iPhones'

Kate Bush asks fans not to take photos at her London gigs
Under-35s have rated gardening in their top five favourite leisure activities, but why?

Young at hort

Under-35s have rated gardening in their top five favourite leisure activities. But why are so many people are swapping sweaty clubs for leafy shrubs?