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I got knocked out a few times performing stand-up I did it early in my career as a way to express the punk attitude. [Allen fronted punk act the Atoms in the 1970s.] One night it would feel like I was sleeping with 127 virgins; the next night I'd get my arse kicked after making jokes about the Army. I got knocked out by soldiers twice. I'd get my own back by walking over seats and pissing on people.
The BBC is to premiere a string of shows on its online iPlayer service before they are shown on television.
Conflict and paradox marked our imperial age. This masterly overview debunks many myths about it
But perhaps the director could have taken a stand and kept schtum about it
More than 50 million people in the UK watched TV coverage of London 2012 - equivalent to 90% of the population.
Win a bottle of wine
For all the many wondrous visions that the £27m Olympics opening ceremony presented to the watching world, one element missing from that visual feast was anything that looked like a stage for sport.
London's 2012 Olympics opening ceremony raced into the British charts on Sunday with a collection of music from the kaleidoscopic extravaganza becoming the week's fifth-best selling compilation album after just 24 hours on sale.
British and world newspapers hailed a spectacular opening ceremony to the 2012 London Olympics.
For most of Theatreland, it's business as usual as the Olympics kick off. Sweeney Todd at the Adelphi has gone dark for the duration, but the majority of stages, used to a summer slump, have not noticed the dreaded Games effect.
Win a bottle of wine
London Mayor Boris Johnson said today he wants to take the opportunity of the Olympics to sell the capital and Britain to the world.
While the sun may be shining on Team GB's cyclists after their historic results in the Tour de France, there is a risk of showers for London on the day of the Olympic opening ceremony.
BBC aims to improve…