The King’s first mistake – not inviting Fergie to the coronation

Inviting the Duchess of York to the service would have set an example of magnanimity and tolerance to estranged families everywhere

It seems a great shame that Sarah, Duchess of York, still colloquially known as Fergie, hasn’t been invited to the coronation.

Rather like Meghan, who also will not be there – accounts vary as to why – the coronation ought to be an inclusive occasion, and one where reconciliation is a strong theme. That applies at an international level, where nations once colonised, racially divided and cruelly exploited by the British in the name of the crown can attend as free and equal members of the Commonwealth.

It can be so nationally too, for our stressed United Kingdom, with other faith groups represented in prayers at the service, and minority communities taking part, rightly reflecting Britain’s, and the Commonwealth’s, multicultural and multiracial character. Why not make the service an example of family reconciliation too?

There’s an implicit message of tolerance around such gestures that does matter, and is needed now as much as ever, given the fractious and charged nature of so much of national life – the so-called “culture wars”.

The Queen made it almost her life’s work to protect tolerance as a great British virtue, and to cherish diversity; and her son is carrying that forward. It’s often forgotten exactly how “woke” Elizabeth II actually was, by the way, but this passage from her Christmas message in 2004 should dispel any doubt. Delivered at a time of tension, post 9/11 and the Iraq war, it’s quite timeless:

“Religion and culture are much in the news these days, usually as sources of difference and conflict, rather than for bringing people together. But the irony is that every religion has something to say about tolerance and respecting others. For me as a Christian one of the most important of these teachings is contained in the parable of the Good Samaritan, when Jesus answers the question ‘who is my neighbour’.”

The implication drawn by Jesus is clear. Everyone is our neighbour, no matter what race, creed or colour. The need to look after a fellow human being is far more important than any cultural or religious differences… There is certainly much more to be done and many challenges to be overcome. Discrimination still exists. Some people feel that their own beliefs are being threatened. Some are unhappy about unfamiliar cultures. They all need to be reassured that there is so much to be gained by reaching out to others; that diversity is indeed a strength and not a threat.”

The Queen, as sincere a Christian as anyone, was also magnanimous towards her wayward former daughter-in-law, Sarah Ferguson, while The Duke of Edinburgh remained adamantly unforgiving towards Sarah and wouldn’t be in the same room as her – it’s no surprise she wasn’t at his funeral.

There’s no doubt that Fergie did some astonishingly unwise things, including her affairs, which resulted in one memorable sequence of photographs appearing in the press of her having her toes sucked by a lover. The Firm was made into a laughing stock.

She was supposed to be a lively and outgoing addition to the team when she married Andrew in 1986, but things just went all wrong, with the press constantly mocking her weight and her dress sense. Her treatment by the tabloids was intrusive, unrelenting, personal, merciless, trivial and humiliating. There was never any genuine public interest justification for it. It was indeed a little bit mad.

Sarah’s treatment was nothing for any journalist to be proud of, and, for what it’s worth, has always made me feel ashamed on behalf of my trade.

One courtier famously wrote Fergie off as “vulgar, vulgar, vulgar”. Yet those same officials refused her permission to share a home with Andrew when he was a serving navy officer, and she was left to moulder in Buckingham Palace, getting bored and lonely. It helped break a happy marriage, and a break-up that left Andrew free to allegedly follow his own, far more destructive activities (although he denies wrongdoing).

Fergie made some calamitous mistakes, but the press, the palace and it has to be said the public seemed set on her destruction. The victim of some media “stings”, ie entrapment, stunts ever since, and a constant and well-publicised struggle with money haven’t helped. Curiously, among all this she’s made a new relationship with Andrew and her family, though of course now he is disgraced this has also damaged her.

Fergie’s life has been a mess ever since she found herself nominated by Diana as a potentially suitable bride for Andrew, and, later on, when Diana decided to allow her to be the pilot case for what a high-profile royal divorce would be like.

Yet that’s the point – it’s the royal entanglement that created the dynamic and pushed her to near-destruction.

Not all of her misfortunes are entirely her fault, and at least some of them (as with Diana and Meghan) are down to casual mismanagement by the palace and the family, by turns neglectful and then vengeful.

Fergie did a lot of damage to the House of Windsor, but they did a lot of damage to her. A place at the coronation would set an example of reconciliation to estranged families everywhere. It’s a tiny detail in the grand scheme of things, but it would have been a kindly one.