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Phillip Hodson: A chimp's appetite for having your banana and eating it

At least Gordon Ramsay's father-in-law has been caught out in good company. After being exposed yesterday as the progenitor of a second, secret family, Chris Hutcheson has joined a French President, the billionaire Gordon Getty and OJ Simpson's dead lawyer, not to mention Charles Dickens.

Diary: Marr was all ears during his coup in the West Wing

If his coyly beatific grin belonged to a figure gazing upon Jesus in a Renaissance painting, let no one blame Andrew Marr for that. Getting quality time alone with Barack Obama, as Andy did for the interview broadcast yesterday, isn't easy. Nick Clegg would tell you that. The snub for Nick, whose pleas for an audience during the state visit were rebuffed, must be excruciating. It is almost as if the White House concluded, in the worst foreign policy miscalculation since 'Nam, that our deputy PM isn't fantastically important. Andy, on the other hand, is. He recovered from recent embarrassments to score an interview that West Wing insiders are styling "The 'Ears? You call those weeny things ears?' Summit".

MP: Teach girls virtues of virginity

Teenage girls would be given lessons at school on the benefits of abstaining from under-age sex under a Bill presented to the Commons yesterday.

Land of the giants: Don't be afraid of giving monster house plants some fresh air

Everyone has a plant they absolutely cannot grow, no matter how hard they try. Even the very best gardeners will confess to a blind spot. My own inner hopelessness is unleashed most often by house plants, which wither and die with amazing regularity once confided to my care.

Phillips puts his case to join the 40 club

Birmingham City 2 Bolton Wanderers 1

Boy dies after falling from roller coaster

Authorities say a three-year-old boy has fallen out of a roller coaster and died at an amusement park in a Chicago suburb.

Neymar refuses to apologise to SFA over racism claim

Neymar has refused to apologise to the Scottish Football Association for complaining of racist abuse during Brazil's match against Scotland.

SFA asks Neymar to apologise to fans

The Scottish Football Association has requested an apology from Brazil striker Neymar after the 19-year-old accused Scotland fans of racism during last Sunday's friendly between the countries.

German teenager admits throwing banana during Scotland v Brazil game

A German teenager was responsible for the banana-throwing incident during Scotland's friendly with Brazil at the Emirates Stadium on Sunday, Arsenal said today.

Deborah Ross: Now let's all play at being Sarah Lund

If you ask me...

Scotland deny Neymar was target of racist abuse

Scotland fans and the Scottish Football Association have refuted claims Brazil star Neymar was racially abused by the Tartan Army in yesterday's friendly at the Emirates Stadium.

Letter from the editor: Conquering the world

There are so many benefits of holding the position I do that it would be difficult to list all of them. (And I’m not just talking about the features editor’s fabulous banana cake, of which another slice was presented to me as I embarked on today’s letter.

Letter from the editor: One-stop shop for news

I have written before about the fact that you can’t please all of the readers all of the time, and in yesterday’s email bag was a classic example.

PJ Harvey, Troxy, London

Won over by the battles of Britain
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Independent Travel
Pompeii, Capri & the Bay of Naples
Seven Cities of Italy
Burgundy, the River Rhone & Provence
Prague, Budapest and Vienna
Lake Garda
Minoan Crete and Santorini
Prices correct as of 1 May 2015
General Election 2015: Ed Miliband's unlikely journey from hapless geek to heart-throb

Miliband's unlikely journey from hapless geek to heart-throb

He was meant to be Labour's biggest handicap - but has become almost an asset
General Election 2015: A guide to the smaller parties, from the the National Health Action Party to the Church of the Militant Elvis Party

On the margins

From Militant Elvis to Women's Equality: a guide to the underdogs standing in the election
Amr Darrag: Ex-Muslim Brotherhood minister in exile still believes Egypt's military regime can be replaced with 'moderate' Islamic rule

'This is the battle of young Egypt for the future of our country'

Ex-Muslim Brotherhood minister Amr Darrag still believes the opposition can rid Egypt of its military regime and replace it with 'moderate' Islamic rule, he tells Robert Fisk
Why patients must rely less on doctors: Improving our own health is the 'blockbuster drug of the century'

Why patients must rely less on doctors

Improving our own health is the 'blockbuster drug of the century'
Sarah Lucas is the perfect artist to represent Britain at the Venice Biennale

Flesh in Venice

Sarah Lucas has filled the British pavilion at the Venice Biennale with slinky cats and casts of her female friends' private parts. It makes you proud to be a woman, says Karen Wright
11 best anti-ageing day creams

11 best anti-ageing day creams

Slow down the ageing process with one of these high-performance, hardworking anti-agers
Juventus 2 Real Madrid 1: Five things we learnt, including Iker Casillas is past it and Carlos Tevez remains effective

Juventus vs Real Madrid

Five things we learnt from the Italian's Champions League first leg win over the Spanish giants
Ashes 2015: Test series looks a lost cause for England... whoever takes over as ECB director of cricket

Ashes series looks a lost cause for England...

Whoever takes over as ECB director of cricket, says Stephen Brenkley
Fishing for votes with Nigel Farage: The Ukip leader shows how he can work an audience as he casts his line to the disaffected of Grimsby

Fishing is on Nigel Farage's mind

Ukip leader casts a line to the disaffected
Who is bombing whom in the Middle East? It's amazing they don't all hit each other

Who is bombing whom in the Middle East?

Robert Fisk untangles the countries and factions
China's influence on fashion: At the top of the game both creatively and commercially

China's influence on fashion

At the top of the game both creatively and commercially
Lord O’Donnell: Former cabinet secretary on the election and life away from the levers of power

The man known as GOD has a reputation for getting the job done

Lord O'Donnell's three principles of rule
Rainbow shades: It's all bright on the night

Rainbow shades

It's all bright on the night
'It was first time I had ever tasted chocolate. I kept a piece, and when Amsterdam was liberated, I gave it to the first Allied soldier I saw'

Bread from heaven

Dutch survivors thank RAF for World War II drop that saved millions
Britain will be 'run for the wealthy and powerful' if Tories retain power - Labour

How 'the Axe' helped Labour

UK will be 'run for the wealthy and powerful' if Tories retain power