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Phillip Hodson: A chimp's appetite for having your banana and eating it

At least Gordon Ramsay's father-in-law has been caught out in good company. After being exposed yesterday as the progenitor of a second, secret family, Chris Hutcheson has joined a French President, the billionaire Gordon Getty and OJ Simpson's dead lawyer, not to mention Charles Dickens.

Diary: Marr was all ears during his coup in the West Wing

If his coyly beatific grin belonged to a figure gazing upon Jesus in a Renaissance painting, let no one blame Andrew Marr for that. Getting quality time alone with Barack Obama, as Andy did for the interview broadcast yesterday, isn't easy. Nick Clegg would tell you that. The snub for Nick, whose pleas for an audience during the state visit were rebuffed, must be excruciating. It is almost as if the White House concluded, in the worst foreign policy miscalculation since 'Nam, that our deputy PM isn't fantastically important. Andy, on the other hand, is. He recovered from recent embarrassments to score an interview that West Wing insiders are styling "The 'Ears? You call those weeny things ears?' Summit".

MP: Teach girls virtues of virginity

Teenage girls would be given lessons at school on the benefits of abstaining from under-age sex under a Bill presented to the Commons yesterday.

Land of the giants: Don't be afraid of giving monster house plants some fresh air

Everyone has a plant they absolutely cannot grow, no matter how hard they try. Even the very best gardeners will confess to a blind spot. My own inner hopelessness is unleashed most often by house plants, which wither and die with amazing regularity once confided to my care.

Phillips puts his case to join the 40 club

Birmingham City 2 Bolton Wanderers 1

Boy dies after falling from roller coaster

Authorities say a three-year-old boy has fallen out of a roller coaster and died at an amusement park in a Chicago suburb.

Neymar refuses to apologise to SFA over racism claim

Neymar has refused to apologise to the Scottish Football Association for complaining of racist abuse during Brazil's match against Scotland.

SFA asks Neymar to apologise to fans

The Scottish Football Association has requested an apology from Brazil striker Neymar after the 19-year-old accused Scotland fans of racism during last Sunday's friendly between the countries.

German teenager admits throwing banana during Scotland v Brazil game

A German teenager was responsible for the banana-throwing incident during Scotland's friendly with Brazil at the Emirates Stadium on Sunday, Arsenal said today.

Deborah Ross: Now let's all play at being Sarah Lund

If you ask me...

Scotland deny Neymar was target of racist abuse

Scotland fans and the Scottish Football Association have refuted claims Brazil star Neymar was racially abused by the Tartan Army in yesterday's friendly at the Emirates Stadium.

Letter from the editor: Conquering the world

There are so many benefits of holding the position I do that it would be difficult to list all of them. (And I’m not just talking about the features editor’s fabulous banana cake, of which another slice was presented to me as I embarked on today’s letter.

Letter from the editor: One-stop shop for news

I have written before about the fact that you can’t please all of the readers all of the time, and in yesterday’s email bag was a classic example.

PJ Harvey, Troxy, London

Won over by the battles of Britain
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Pompeii, Capri & the Bay of Naples
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The saffron censorship that governs India: Why national pride and religious sentiment trump freedom of expression

The saffron censorship that governs India

Zareer Masani reveals why national pride and religious sentiment trump freedom of expression
Prince Charles' 'black spider' letters to be published 'within weeks'

Prince Charles' 'black spider' letters to be published 'within weeks'

Supreme Court rules Dominic Grieve's ministerial veto was invalid
Distressed Zayn Malik fans are cutting themselves - how did fandom get so dark?

How did fandom get so dark?

Grief over Zayn Malik's exit from One Direction seemed amusing until stories of mass 'cutting' emerged. Experts tell Gillian Orr the distress is real, and the girls need support
The galaxy collisions that shed light on unseen parallel Universe

The cosmic collisions that have shed light on unseen parallel Universe

Dark matter study gives scientists insight into mystery of space
The Swedes are adding a gender-neutral pronoun to their dictionary

Swedes introduce gender-neutral pronoun

Why, asks Simon Usborne, must English still struggle awkwardly with the likes of 's/he' and 'they'?
Disney's mega money-making formula: 'Human' remakes of cartoon classics are part of a lucrative, long-term creative plan

Disney's mega money-making formula

'Human' remakes of cartoon classics are part of a lucrative, long-term creative plan
Lobster has gone mainstream with supermarket bargains for £10 or less - but is it any good?

Lobster has gone mainstream

Anthea Gerrie, raised on meaty specimens from the waters around Maine, reveals how to cook up an affordable feast
Easter 2015: 14 best decorations

14 best Easter decorations

Get into the Easter spirit with our pick of accessories, ornaments and tableware
Paul Scholes column: Gareth Bale would be a perfect fit at Manchester United and could turn them into serious title contenders next season

Paul Scholes column

Gareth Bale would be a perfect fit at Manchester United and could turn them into serious title contenders next season
Inside the Kansas greenhouses where Monsanto is 'playing God' with the future of the planet

The future of GM

The greenhouses where Monsanto 'plays God' with the future of the planet
Britain's mild winters could be numbered: why global warming is leaving UK chillier

Britain's mild winters could be numbered

Gulf Stream is slowing down faster than ever, scientists say
Government gives £250,000 to Independent appeal

Government gives £250,000 to Independent appeal

Donation brings total raised by Homeless Veterans campaign to at least £1.25m
Oh dear, the most borrowed book at Bank of England library doesn't inspire confidence

The most borrowed book at Bank of England library? Oh dear

The book's fifth edition is used for Edexcel exams
Cowslips vs honeysuckle: The hunt for the UK’s favourite wildflower

Cowslips vs honeysuckle

It's the hunt for UK’s favourite wildflower
Child abuse scandal: Did a botched blackmail attempt by South African intelligence help Cyril Smith escape justice?

Did a botched blackmail attempt help Cyril Smith escape justice?

A fresh twist reveals the Liberal MP was targeted by the notorious South African intelligence agency Boss