Arts and Entertainment

Most people benefit from experience, but in David Bailey’s opinion age has not improved his skills. Speaking at the launch of an exhibition of his work at the National Portrait Gallery today, the photographer admitted that he is no better now than he was when he started taking pictures more than 50 years ago. “I haven’t progressed. I’ve probably got less good. I take exactly the same photos as I did when I was 16,” he said.

SHOW PEOPLE / A turn at the tables: The Cigarette Girl

THE BUS-BOYS rush past with their trays held high while the Cigarette Girl, slow and stately, curls round the tables like cigar-smoke. This is a restaurant where the staff look more chic than the clientele: the bus-boys are in dark blue tunics and the Cigarette Girl is in a black velvet sleeveless dress, with a skirt that tilts up at the back, and tulle ruffles that are designed to echo the sculpted waves on the front of the Crustacea Bar.

Retail Therapy

WITH the launch of its attractive mail-order catalogue, Purple Fish hopes to overcome the problem of shoe shopping with children. Aimed at primary school pupils, its leather shoes include a comprehensive range of trainers, school shoes, brightly coloured play-shoes and tough-looking hiking boots. It even sells clogs as 'so many parents wanted these for holiday wear', which shows one is never too young to be fashionable.

Beauty uses her brains to win over Oxford Union: Marianne Macdonald listens as Jerry Hall quotes Socrates, Milton and her mother on exploiting your assets

JERRY HALL last night electrified Oxford Union by taking on feminists and former editors to argue it was everyone's duty to exploit their assets.

Fashion: In the driving seat of the American Dream: A Ford model used to be a way of getting from A to B. Now it's a byword for creating images and making millions, says Marion Hume

MENTION the name 'Ford' to an American schoolgirl and she is just as likely to think in terms of models (fashion models, that is) as cars. Ford, Eileen not Henry, started a model agency in 1946 and she now enjoys a place alongside that other Ford for her contribution to the American dream.


Mark Gorton, producer of Cluedo (ITV Mon), on the assembling of the show's acclaimed cast: 'We started off with the idea that we'd like to make the drama more comic strip, to get away from the Agatha Christie drawing-room murder scenario. We'd asked the writers to have fun with the conventions and that appealed to people like Joanna Lumley (Mrs Peacock). I was absolutely delighted with James Bain's (casting director) suggestions; in terms of casting it's some very good ideas and a bit of serendipity - we drew up the wish-list and more-or- less hit every time. Jerry Hall (Miss Scarlet) jumped at the opportunity and Leslie Grantham (Col Mustard) and Nicholas Parsons (Rev Green) both said yes instantly.

TELEVISION / BRIEFING: It's a fair pair of cops

NOT content with accounting for most of the drama on television, detectives are now making inroads into sitcoms. THE DETECTIVES (8pm BBC1) stars Jasper Carrott and Robert Powell as two incompetent inspectors. The first episode, 'What the Butler Saw', features all the standard-issue elements of detective drama - thunder and lightning, a country house hotel, a Psycho-style murder in the shower, and a libraryful of suspects. The script, by Steve Knight and Mike Whitehill, offers the odd amusing one-liner. Powell accosts a suspect: 'Murder - ugly word, isn't it?' 'Here's another ugly word - Bon Jovi,' adds Carrott, helpfully. George Sewell, reprising his role in Special Branch, turns in a nice cameo as the no-nonsense boss, and Jerry Hall vamps it up as a hotel guest. But, on this evidence, was it really worth expanding a thin sketch from Canned Carrott into six half-hours?

Bullseye] Jim scores again: He's smashing, lovely, super, and the Oxford Union crowd roared at his 40-year-old jokes. But not all the speakers on sex and love went down so well

ON Tuesday night Jim Bowen stood up to deliver a speech in the chamber of the Oxford Union. Inside the building where prime ministers are nurtured, where Benazir Bhutto learnt how to win an election, where Edwina Currie cut her political fangs, the biggest crowd for four years - 1,200 - was sardined into every available space. The moment the Union president announced Mr Bowen's name there was uproar. From the balcony a floor-stamping chant began. 'Jim, Jim, Jim,' it went on, for what seemed like minutes.

'I was the nude on the bacon advert': Imogen Edwards-Jones mingles with the stars among TV's extras

'IT'S my ambition to be the richest, most anonymous man in the world,' said a huge bloke covered in tattoos, as he reorganised his chicken-wire shoulder pads. 'You can keep the fame, I just want the fortune.'

TELEVISION / Sunny side up but it's no yolk at all

GOOD MORNING, good morning] It's Sunday October the 4th, and this isn't the day that Dennis Nilsen agreed to become a vegetarian, that was Thursday, but never mind if you missed it, we'll be having a little rerun of most of Thursday's show later on. Now, the news . . . Right, nuffothat] And, coming soon, Down Your Doorstep with Mark frightening Asian biddies in Leicester, in bed with Paula, and The Big Question, should we kill that chicken? Phone or fax now, but remember, it's Just for Fun] The Big Breakfast (C4) crashed into our screens like a seven-year-old overdosing on orange squash: hyperactive, shrill, it tells untrained potty jokes and pokes out a tongue that glows in the dark at the grown-ups. In short, a rude awakening.

Profile: Prince of pop money: Financial adviser Prince Rupert Loewenstein is the man who gathers the moss for Rolling Stone Mick Jagger among others. Gail Counsell finds there is more to him than money

HIS real name is Prince Rupert Ludwig Ferdinand zu Loewenstein-Wertheim-Freudenberg, but associates are wont to refer to him as Rupie the Groupie. Such are the indignities that inevitably accompany the role of financial adviser to the rich and famous - though as one of the purely professional variety, he is at least spared the need to offer poolside services.
The surrealist comedian at the Q Awards in 2010
Russell Brand arriving for the book launch in East London
peopleRussell Brand cancels his book launch debate due to concerns about the make-up of the panel
Christiano Ronaldo enjoys his opening goal
champions leagueLiverpool 0 Real Madrid 3: Ronaldo and Benzema run Reds ragged to avenge thrashing from their last visit to Anfield
Arts and Entertainment
Awesome foursome: Sam Smith shows off his awards
music22-year-old confirms he is 2014’s breakout British music success
Life and Style
Six of the 76 Goats' cheese samples contained a significant amount of sheep's cheese
food + drink
Arts and Entertainment
Contestants during this summer's Celebrity Big Brother grand finale
tvBroadcaster attempts to change its image following sale to American media group
Arts and Entertainment
Sir Nicholas Serota has been a feature in the Power 100 top ten since its 2002 launch
Arts and Entertainment
Sarah Dales attempts to sell British Breeze in the luxury scent task
tvReview: 'Apprentice' candidate on the verge of tears as they were ejected from the boardroom
Call me Superman: one of many unusual names chosen by Chinese students
newsChinese state TV offers advice for citizens picking a Western moniker
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How could three tourists have been battered within an inch of their lives by a burglar in a plush London hotel?

A crime that reveals London's dark heart

How could three tourists have been battered within an inch of their lives by a burglar in a plush London hotel?
Meet 'Porridge' and 'Vampire': Chinese state TV is offering advice for citizens picking a Western moniker

Lost in translation: Western monikers

Chinese state TV is offering advice for citizens picking a Western moniker. Simon Usborne, who met a 'Porridge' and a 'Vampire' while in China, can see the problem
Handy hacks that make life easier: New book reveals how to rid your inbox of spam, protect your passwords and amplify your iPhone

Handy hacks that make life easier

New book reveals how to rid your email inbox of spam, protect your passwords and amplify your iPhone with a loo-roll
KidZania lets children try their hands at being a firefighter, doctor or factory worker for the day

KidZania: It's a small world

The new 'educational entertainment experience' in London's Shepherd's Bush will allow children to try out the jobs that are usually undertaken by adults, including firefighter, doctor or factory worker
Renée Zellweger's real crime has been to age in an industry that prizes women's youth over humanity

'Renée Zellweger's real crime was to age'

The actress's altered appearance raised eyebrows at Elle's Women in Hollywood awards on Monday
From Cinderella to The Jungle Book, Disney plans live-action remakes of animated classics

Disney plans live-action remakes of animated classics

From Cinderella to The Jungle Book, Patrick Grafton-Green wonders if they can ever recapture the old magic
Thousands of teenagers to visit battlefields of the First World War in new Government scheme

Pupils to visit First World War battlefields

A new Government scheme aims to bring the the horrors of the conflict to life over the next five years
The 10 best smartphone accessories

Make the most of your mobile: 10 best smartphone accessories

Try these add-ons for everything from secret charging to making sure you never lose your keys again
Mario Balotelli substituted at half-time against Real Madrid: Was this shirt swapping the real reason?

Liverpool v Real Madrid

Mario Balotelli substituted at half-time. Was shirt swapping the real reason?
West Indies tour of India: Hurricane set to sweep Windies into the shadows

Hurricane set to sweep Windies into the shadows

Decision to pull out of India tour leaves the WICB fighting for its existence with an off-field storm building
Indiana serial killer? Man arrested for murdering teenage prostitute confesses to six other murders - and police fear there could be many more

A new American serial killer?

Police fear man arrested for murder of teen prostitute could be responsible for killing spree dating back 20 years
Sweetie, the fake 10-year-old girl designed to catch online predators, claims her first scalp

Sting to trap paedophiles may not carry weight in UK courts

Computer image of ‘Sweetie’ represented entrapment, experts say
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Return to Fukushima – a land they will never call home again

Evacuees still stuck in cramped emergency housing three years on from nuclear disaster
Wildlife Photographer of the Year: Intimate image of resting lions claims top prize

Wildlife Photographer of the Year

Intimate image of resting lions claims top prize
Online petitions: Sign here to change the world

Want to change the world? Just sign here

The proliferation of online petitions allows us to register our protests at the touch of a button. But do they change anything?