Stop reading now if your beauty regime extends only to the bits people can see. For those truly devoted to inner radiance, a spa in Essex (where else?) has launched a new facial that promises to reinvigorate and rejuvenate your nether face – your bottom, that is. Exfoliating salt-scrub and detoxifying algae are applied to your seat, before a soothing masque (not one with eye holes) is placed on the problem area to boost circulation and firmness.

In the letters column of this newspaper yesterday, Simon Manton writes: "I assume that Simon Kelner has never been through the trials, tribulations and embarrassments of owning a dog." Oh, how little you know about me, dear reader.

Former Spice Girl wins at British Fashion Awards, while McQueen's successor takes top prize

There are two reasons why the night of 25 September 2008 stays fresh in my mind. Amy Winehouse is one, Pippa Middleton the other. It was the night of the Berkeley Square Ball, one of those ludicrous so-called fund-raising events, so lavish you wonder why they don't just give the money straight to charity.

The new wave at the Fringe don't hide where their best lines came from

Haverstock School in Chalk Farm, North London, has been described – in this column and elsewhere – as "Labour's Eton", for it educated not only the Miliband brothers, but also the former MP and mayoral candidate Oona King.

Fat bottomed girls make the rockin’ world go round, we all know. And, the good news is, I now have one.

Djokovic confirmed that it is possible to produce an astonishing run of consistency while retaining the ability to strike out for the great prizes

The official guidance at the start of the royal tour of Canada was that Kate would be seen and not heard. I wonder if Prince William was advised to be heard and not seen, for he has been edited out of most of the newspaper photographs.

They're the new curse of celebrity weddings: beautiful attendants who steal the star-studded show. Alice Azania-Jarvis reports

The diary has noted before the lack of footballers at the Championships but Joey Barton came to the rescue yesterday by turning up on Centre Court – Barton's doing the English summer circuit, having been at Glastonbury last weekend.

The Last Word