He may have needed to go for an eye test – but possibly not by car. An 89-year-old driver lost control of his vehicle while driving down a busy street yesterday and ploughed through the front of an optician's shop, causing damage estimated at thousands of pounds.

The look on the faces of the Tories hadn't been seen since the Great Stink of 1858. There was an almost visible heat ripple of loathing coming off the top of their Conservative heads.

For the first time in my life, possibly only briefly, I have reached the pinnacle of Parisian chic. The newspaper, Le Figaro, has published a list of what it calls the panoplie du snob: a catalogue of 50 things which are at the furthest cutting-edge of in-your-face trendiness amongst the wealthy, Parisian chattering classes.

The latest figures showing that men are 100 times more likely to die of everything than women – and at a quarter of their age, and in double the agony – are all I need. I am approaching the age at which my father died – I am not actually, but if you fear you are, you are. What, when all is said and done, does "approaching" mean? Life is just one short, inescapable approach. I had a friend at university who kept a notebook of the ages at which his father, his grandfather, his great-grandfather, his great-great-grandfather etc, kicked the bucket, ticking each off and throwing a small gloomy party in his rooms as soon he'd survived it. But he only gave us water. His maternal grandfather had died of sherry poisoning.

What are you wearing right now?

My favourite asymmetrical ruffled leather miniskirt from my summer collection, with a plain T-shirt.

New York City. The sun is shining. The world leaders are in town.

At a time when we've become accustomed to music venues closing down all over the country, it's refreshing to have the opening of a new, purpose-built club and live venue to celebrate.