News

Wreckage of the three-tonne Eurocopter has reportedly arrived at the AAIB base in Farnborough, Hampshire

Film: Also showing: Like driving with the brakes on

PRIMAL FEAR Gregory Hoblit (18) UNE FEMME FRANCAISE Regis Wargnier (18) SPY HARD Rick Friedberg (PG) ANGUS Patrick Read Johnson (12) MUPPET TREASURE ISLAND Brian Henson (U)

Two hundred diners in search of a stereotype and celluloid Scots

"ODDLY enough, Trollope himself was not a great admirer of Lincoln's Inn."

`EastEnders' tops the complaints ratings

`EastEnders' tops the complaints ratings

Comedy Mark Little Sucks The Alban Arena, St Albans

The first applause for Mark Little at St Albans last week came early on in the show, when he shouted through a megaphone, "Get down off the couch, Bouncer." The man who for some people will for ever be Joe Mangel was understandably keen to get the Neighbours gags over with sharpish. "I know there's a fair whack of you out there who still think Neighbours is a documentary," he sighed. "The big thing people always say to me in the street is, 'I'm sorry Bouncer's dead.' " He kept making a point of swearing to shock people who may have thought to themselves, "Joe Mangel would never use that kind of language." When Little talked about his mother, a heckler shouted out, "We've seen your mum, she's Mrs Mangel." "That's right, Mrs Mangel's my mum," Little replied, smiling patronisingly. "You've gotta humour them."

The one-hit wonder is common to most fields of endeavour. Charles Darwin came up with the evolution thing, but after that, what?

On Wednesday night I attended the celebrity premiere of Clint Eastwood's The Bridges of Madison County. I very rarely get invited to these dos, which is tragic, because shallow moron that I am, I love everything about them. I love walking along the long tunnel of shouting crowds - something that every sensitive, intelligent person I know finds demeaning and embarrassing. I love seeing all the other celebrities. And I really, really, love getting in to see movies for free. Going to one of these premieres reminds me of bunking into the Saturday morning matinee at the local cinema, except now it's the police and the cinema staff who are sneaking down and opening the fire doors for me.

Unpaid, unsung and ready to tell the truth

ON FRIDAY, while I was reading about Hugh Grant as usual, I got a call that told me I would not be needed after all as a minor witness in a libel trial. This was disappointing. I hadn't libelled anyone - if anyone had, and we don't know because the case isn't over; it was a publishing company with which I've no connection - and I was looking forward to a relatively relaxed time in the witness box. Like many reporters and editors, I have been charged with libel. Lawyers for reporters and editors, however, tend not to ask them to stand up in court. The wisdom is that juries are not impressed by their veracity. The one time I offered, my lawyer said:

Bafta revelations shock and amaze

Thanks to exhaustive trawling through last year's big and small screen offerings, extensive insider dealing and actionable industrial espionage, I can exclusively reveal the winners of the following Bafta awards for television ahead of tonight's glittering ceremony (8.35pm BBC1). (Well, it's hosted by Billy Connolly and Liz Hurley will be there.)

Comedy goes black to basics

Ask your average Saturday night prime-time BBC1 viewer what black comedy means and he'll blink and mutter something about Lenny Henry, before admitting defeat: "Black-and-white minstrels don't count, do they mate?"

Lord Crudwick insists on savouring the moment

Today I bring you the closing moments of this year's Moment Of The Year Award Ceremony, the glittering occasion at which the most significant single moment of 1994 is given its due.

You want a successful comedy video, you need an 18 certificate: Mark Wa reham's guide to the top 5 filth merchants

Chubby Brown Jingle Bx@!cks Appearance: Patchwork tails, flying helmet Material: His big member, masturbation, the wife Songs: "Dolly Parton's tits"

COMEDY / Green giant: Jeff Green makes adult jokes about male inadequacy, but his good looks have brought him respectability. He charmed James Rampton

Billy Connolly came to see Jeff Green's Perrier-nominated show at Edinburgh. 'It was like Marlon Brando coming to a school play,' Green laughs. 'I'm glad I didn't know, or I would have gone to pieces. All the people around him were nervously waiting to see when he laughed. But he came up to me afterwards and said, 'that was good. It was non-macho, you were just having a gas.' That was a real honour for me - I've followed him since Parkinson. It was worth more to me than the Perrier nomination.'

The Edinburgh Festival: Comedy: And all for the price of a Clydeside puppet show

THE Edinburgh Festival throws performers and audience together in a confined space in an atmosphere of barely suppressed hysteria. Interesting etiquette quandaries result, such as how to behave when the person who elbows you sharply to one side in their eagerness to get to the bar turns out to be someone you just paid six, seven or even eight pounds to make you laugh. Most people seem to handle this quite well, and if comedians are troubled by the knowledge that for the price of listening to them for an hour, their audience could have experienced not one but two troops of Clydeside puppeteers, they manage not to show it.

Profile: No mercy for the Big Man: Billy Connolly, the comedian Scotland can't forgive

'I F YOU LEAVE Scotland,' said a friend of Billy Connolly, 'then get successful and come back, it's Who do you think you are? If you don't make it and come back, they say, I could have told you you needn't have bothered.' The trouble with Billy Connolly is that his native Scotland can't decide which category he's in.

Quiff me quick: Mark Lamarr is giving up being nasty on TV's The Word to concentrate on being funny on stage. James Rampton met him and lived

Mark Lamarr is giving up presenting The Word because he's had enough of people referring to him as The Word's Mark Lamarr. Fair enough: who would want to end up like the 60-year-old man still known as Blue Peter's John Noakes? But this move also gives Lamarr the chance to spend more time with one of his other careers - as a highly accomplished stand-up comedian.
Arts and Entertainment
arts + entsWith one of the best comic roles around, it's no wonder she rarely bothers with films
News
people
News
i100
News
Davis says: 'My career has been about filling a niche - there were fewer short actors and fewer roles – but now I'm being offered all kinds of things'
PeopleWarwick Davis on Ricky Gervais, Harry Potter and his perfect role
Voices
A Russian hunter at the Medved bear-hunting lodge in Siberia
Save the tigerWildlife charities turn to those who kill animals to help save them
Sport
Frank Lampard will pass Billy Wright and equal Bobby Charton’s caps tally of 106 caps against
sportFormer Chelsea midfielder in Etihad stopgap before New York contract
News
i100
Sport
Usain Bolt of Jamaica smiles and shakes hands with a competitor after Jamaica won their first heat in the men's 4x100m relay
sport
Career Services

Day In a Page

Burgundy, the River Rhone & Provence – MS Swiss Corona - seven nights from £999pp
Lake Maggiore, Orta and the Matterhorn – seven nights from £899pp
Sicily – seven nights from £939pp
Pompeii, Capri and the Bay of Naples - seven nights from £799pp
Istanbul Ephesus & Troy – six nights from £859pp
Mary Rose – two nights from £319pp
Save the Tiger: Meet the hunters tasked with protecting Russia's rare Amur tiger

Hunters protect Russia's rare Amur tiger

In an unusual move, wildlife charities have enlisted those who kill animals to help save them. Oliver Poole travels to Siberia to investigate
Transfers: How has your club fared in summer sales?

How has your club fared in summer sales?

Who have bagged the bargain buys and who have landed the giant turkeys
Warwick Davis: The British actor on Ricky Gervais, how the Harry Potter set became his office, and why he'd like to play a spy

'I'm a realist; I know how hard this business is'

Warwick Davis on Ricky Gervais, Harry Potter and his perfect role
The best swim shorts for men: Bag yourself the perfect pair and make a splash this summer

The best swim shorts for men

Bag yourself the perfect pair and make a splash this summer
Has Ukip’s Glastonbury branch really been possessed by the devil?

Has Ukip’s Glastonbury branch really been possessed by the devil?

Meet the couple blamed for bringing Lucifer into local politics
Dress the Gaza situation up all you like, but the truth hurts

Robert Fisk on Gaza conflict

Dress the situation up all you like, but the truth hurts
Save the tiger: Tiger, tiger burning less brightly as numbers plummet

Tiger, tiger burning less brightly

When William Blake wrote his famous poem there were probably more than 100,000 tigers in the wild. These days they probably number around 3,200
5 News's Andy Bell retraces his grandfather's steps on the First World War battlefields

In grandfather's footsteps

5 News's political editor Andy Bell only knows his grandfather from the compelling diary he kept during WWI. But when he returned to the killing fields where Edwin Vaughan suffered so much, his ancestor came to life
Lifestyle guru Martha Stewart reveals she has flying robot ... to take photos of her farm

Martha Stewart has flying robot

The lifestyle guru used the drone to get a bird's eye view her 153-acre farm in Bedford, New York
Former Labour minister Meg Hillier has demanded 'pootling lanes' for women cyclists

Do women cyclists need 'pootling lanes'?

Simon Usborne (who's more of a hurtler) explains why winning the space race is key to happy riding
A tale of two presidents: George W Bush downs his paintbrush to pen father’s life story

A tale of two presidents

George W Bush downs his paintbrush to pen father’s life story
Restaurateur Mitch Tonks has given the Great Western Pullman dining car a makeover

The dining car makes a comeback

Restaurateur Mitch Tonks has given the Great Western Pullman dining car a makeover
Gallery rage: How are institutions tackling the discomfort of overcrowding this summer?

Gallery rage

How are institutions tackling the discomfort of overcrowding this summer?
Louis van Gaal has £500,000 video surveillance system installed to monitor Manchester United players

Eye on the prize

Louis van Gaal has £500,000 video surveillance system installed to monitor Manchester United players
Women's rugby: Tamara Taylor adds fuel to the ire in quest to land World Cup

Women's rugby

Tamara Taylor adds fuel to the ire in quest to land World Cup