News Edward Bunyan and Indira Gainiyeva left Stonyhurst College in Clitheroe, Lancashire, in the early hours of Monday morning

Stonyhurst headmaster rules their return as 'untenable' after their departure to the Caribbean sparked an international search

Last Night's TV: Lennon Naked, BBC4<br />Peckham Finishing School for Girls, BBC3

Lennon Naked began with a splash – a late-period John in what appeared to be mint condition plunging into the pool of his stockbroker belt mansion to the sound of "Come Together". The device might have felt a little overfamiliar (how many times has the off-the-peg transcendence of an underwater shot been employed in such things?), but it was all but impossible to resist the jolt of that music – a cameo appearance by the real thing in a drama that was largely going to be a triumph of similitude. Even more reassuringly, Robert Jones's script instantly showed that it had got the weight of Lennon's wordplay. A jump cut deprived us of the final resolving cadence of the song and plunged us again, back to Beatlemania, as John and Brian Epstein made a scrambled getaway down a fire escape and John demonstrated the rasp of his wit. "Kiss 'im," he says as fans beg for contact. "'E's never been kissed by womankind... or unkind." And the joke scrapes close to unkindness itself, a teasing poke with just enough thrust in it to hurt, but not enough to make the malice deniable should things turn nasty.

Creative juices fizz at Bucks New University

Students need to work across disciplines &ndash; and that is what&rsquo;s happening in High Wycombe

Leading Article: Independent schools are wise to look overseas

The news that British independent schools are receiving a record influx of pupils from overseas is not surprising. According to the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD), fee-charging schools in the UK achieve the best results of any type of school in the world. If you examine the statistics, they account for nearly 40 per cent of students getting three A grades or better at A-level, yet only 7 per cent of pupils attend these schools. So, overseas parents are making a rational, if expensive, choice in deciding to send their offspring away to boarding school in a far-off land. And it really is the other side of the world in many cases. The largest international group within private schools comes from China and Hong Kong. The parents of such children must definitely think it is worth shelling out as much as £30,000 a year per child, plus the cost of air fares and a school uniform, to give their darlings a good start in life.

School inspections are a 'nitpicker's paradise'

The school inspection system is in danger of becoming "a nitpicker's paradise", the headmaster of Eton warned yesterday.

The priest who abused deaf boys for 24 years

Fr Murphy was the only adult his pupils could communicate with &ndash; and he betrayed them. Andy McSmith reports

Alastair Stewart: 'I've had a degree of self-belief instilled in me'

Alastair Stewart, the newscaster who presents the ITV News at 6.30pm, attended Madras College in St Andrews, Scotland, the Salesian College prep school in Farnborough, and St Augustine's Abbey School in Ramsgate. He went on to read economics and politics at Bristol University.

The Hidden Heart of Emily Hudson, By Melissa Jones

Portrait of a lady behind a great man

Cracks (15)

Cracks is set in a remote all-girl boarding school in the 1930s. One of the teachers, the chic and bohemian Eva Green is Miss Jean Brodie except with designer clothes, and more of a tendency to take them off in the open air. She's idolised by a clique of pupils led by Juno Temple and Imogen Poots (the actresses' names, not the characters', believe it or not) until the power balance is upset by the arrival of an aristocratic Spanish girl, Maria Valverde.

Rhiannon Harries: Look closely at boarding schools and 'Cracks' in the fantasy soon appear

Trying to explain your home nation's cultural peculiarities to an outsider is the best way to gauge the degree of their absurdity, as I found out the other day when a French friend asked me what exactly Eton is. "Well, it's just a school really..." I began, before launching into a labyrinthine explanation of how it was actually much more than just a school. I covered tailcoats, rowing songs, Gothic architecture, 18 British PMs (not by name, obviously – I'm not that good) and a recipe involving broken meringues.

Book Of A Lifetime: The Great Gatsby, By F Scott Fitzgerald

I was 17 years old, faintly spotty and in love with Rupert Brooke. I had just been removed from my Home Counties boarding school, slap in the middle of the A-level course. My parents had become disillusioned with the academic goals of the institution after discovering that the entire school had been awarded a day's picnic to celebrate one girl's successful application to university. Instead, I was sent to a serious-minded London crammer. My EngLit tutor lived at the end of the Northern Line and twice a week I made the hour-long Tube journey to see her, using the anonymity of the carriage to refine my awkward attempts at presenting myself as an experienced smoker.

Calls for earlier exam results as students miss university places

Up to 1,200 young people may miss out on provisional university places they have been offered this year even though they have the right grades.

The Taste of Sorrow, By Jude Morgan

Withering plights of three sisters

Lord Adonis: The man in charge of the train set

Written off as a Blairite, the new Transport Secretary has made a startling new beginning in a job that he has always wanted

Boy and girl expelled from boarding school

Two pupils were asked to leave a top Catholic boarding school after they were caught in bed together, it was revealed today.

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By Reason of Insanity

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Spanish stone-age cave paintings 'under threat' after being re-opened to the public

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Caves were re-opened to the public
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He built his own reef, and was fatally shot there by an Israeli gunboat
Saudi Arabia's airstrikes in Yemen are fuelling the Gulf's fire

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Young Magician of the Year 2015: Meet the schoolgirl from Newcastle who has her heart set on being the competition's first female winner

Spells like teen spirit

A 16-year-old from Newcastle has set her heart on being the first female to win Young Magician of the Year. Jonathan Owen meets her
Jonathan Anderson: If fashion is a cycle, this young man knows just how to ride it

If fashion is a cycle, this young man knows just how to ride it

British designer Jonathan Anderson is putting his stamp on venerable house Loewe
Number plates scheme could provide a licence to offend in the land of the free

Licence to offend in the land of the free

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From farm to fork: Meet the Cornish fishermen, vegetable-growers and butchers causing a stir in London's top restaurants

From farm to fork in Cornwall

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Robert Parker interview: The world's top wine critic on tasting 10,000 bottles a year, absurd drinking notes and New World wannabes

Robert Parker interview

The world's top wine critic on tasting 10,000 bottles a year, absurd drinking notes and New World wannabes
Don't believe the stereotype - or should you?

Don't believe the stereotype - or should you?

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