Sport Chris Tremlett, James Anderson and Stuart Broad train as rain prevents any play again in Hobart

England’s elaborate dietary demands in pursuit of the Ashes cooked up a hugely entertaining media storm. But they could not quite disguise the fact that the complete world stocks of pumpkin seed and goji berry bars or buckwheat pancake with probiotic yogurt and fresh berries – merely two of the tourists’ extensive list equating to a foodie’s heaven – will be unable to help if they cannot get on the park.

Focus: When Delia says do this...

... aspiring cooks everywhere obey. But some argue her links with Sainsbury's have compromised her role as taste tutor to the nation

Sport on TV: Grumpy exits, flash entrances and furrowed brows

They say it's grim up north. It seemed to get pretty murky out west as well, especially when the camera team from The Rugby Club (BBC2) were around. The documentary following the fortunes of Bath Rugby Club is now into its fifth week, and the only smiling faces to be found belong to the musicians of the Pump House Trio whose discreet trillings accompany the examination of the wreckage at The Rec.

Media: They'll be Two Rich Ladies

Britain's Two Fat Ladies have served up suet pudding in the land of the clinically obese and the diet-obsessive. US fans have taken our telly tubbies to their hearts and a revolt against fat-free living has begun, says Paul McCann.

For most of us, the River is another country

"You're probably sick of this by now," said our hostess as she served up soup to us one day in London last year.

Comment: Fine start, but could do better

In all the places where senior civil servants choose to holiday this August the collective sighs of relief will be loud and long. Ever since 1 May and the arrival of new Labour masters and mistresses they have been working at breakneck speed, rushing through policy initiatives like there was no tomorrow. They are exhausted.

Ermine for captains of industry ... but only regrets for Lamont

Labour's friendship with big business is renewed today with four captains of industry created Labour life peers by the Prime Minister in a working list of 47 new peerages.

Auntie goes for gold

Sophia Chauchard-Stuart logs on to Beeb, the BBC's new commercial online service

One tomato, and the scare is rolling

"Did you see Delia Smith on television this week? It was absolutely revolting. But I saw it with my own eyes. Dear old Delia came on the screen, picked up a tomato and said to the TV audience, 'What you do is cut the top out of the tomato, like this', and then she cut the top out of the tomato, and then she said, 'What you do next is put it on your nose' - and she put it on her nose, and grinned! I couldn't believe my eyes. It was quite awful."

Top books? You're kidding

Waterstones' 'best books' survey shows that the nation is hidebound by GCSE syllabuses, says Ann Barnes

Britain's real reading list

Give them credit. Whoever dreamt up Waterstones' greatest 100 books of the century pulled off the neatest marketing wheeze since Prima persuaded Cherie Blair to edit their mag. Neat, because yesterday everyone who had any interest whatever in books found themselves unable to avoid discussing the merits and demerits of their list.

No Sartre, no Lessing, no Mailer: Frodo the hobbit beats them all

JRR Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings is the greatest book written this century, according to a poll of more than 25,000 people conducted by the book chain Waterstone's and Channel 4's Book Choice.

Managerial patter cannot disguise pitiful show

Phil Shaw watches a strong defensive unit hold their mundane visitors at bay

Last Resort: Walsall

Think "illuminations" and a northern resort with a tower is most likely to come to mind, rather than a not-very-famous town on the edge of the Black Country. If Walsall is known for anything, it is the leather industry, its market, its Balti houses (which were selling Baltis well before they were trendy and where they still only cost around pounds 3.50), and having its local council expelled from the Labour Party for being too left-wing.

COOKS ON SCREEN

A hi-tech answer to Mrs Beeton or a totally flawed concept? Our panel goes on line in the kitchen

Last week Thomas Sutcliffe tried to work up an appetite for TV cookery programmes

How sad do you have to be to want to consume TV cookery programmes? If ever there was evidence that we are a nation of watchers rather than doers then it is the news that we are to have more cookery programmes rammed down our throats.
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Prices correct as of 17 April 2015
Timeless drama of Championship race in league of its own - Michael Calvin

Michael Calvin's Last Word

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Where the spooks get their coffee fix: The busiest Starbucks in the US is also the most secretive

The secret CIA Starbucks

The coffee shop is deep inside the agency's forested Virginia compound
Revealed: How the Establishment closed ranks over fallout from Loch Ness Monster 'sighting'

How the Establishment closed ranks over fallout from Nessie 'sighting'

The Natural History Museum's chief scientist was dismissed for declaring he had found the monster
One million Britons using food banks, according to Trussell Trust

One million Britons using food banks

Huge surge in number of families dependent on emergency food aid
Excavation at Italian cafe to fix rising damp unearths 2,500 years of history in 3,000 amazing objects

2,500 years of history in 3,000 amazing objects

Excavation at Italian cafe to fix rising damp unearths trove
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The space telescope was seen as a costly flop on its first release
Did Conservative peer Lord Ashcroft quit the House of Lords to become a non-dom?

Did Lord Ashcroft quit the House of Lords to become a non-dom?

A document seen by The Independent shows that a week after he resigned from the Lords he sold 350,000 shares in an American company - netting him $11.2m
Apple's ethnic emojis are being used to make racist comments on social media

Ethnic emojis used in racist comments

They were intended to promote harmony, but have achieved the opposite
Sir Kenneth Branagh interview: 'My bones are in the theatre'

Sir Kenneth Branagh: 'My bones are in the theatre'

The actor-turned-director’s new company will stage five plays from October – including works by Shakespeare and John Osborne
The sloth is now the face (and furry body) of three big advertising campaigns

The sloth is the face of three ad campaigns

Priya Elan discovers why slow and sleepy wins the race for brands in need of a new image
How to run a restaurant: As two newbies discovered, there's more to it than good food

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As two newbies discovered, there's more to it than good food
Record Store Day: Remembering an era when buying and selling discs were labours of love

Record Store Day: The vinyl countdown

For Lois Pryce, working in a record shop was a dream job - until the bean counters ruined it
Usher, Mary J Blige and Will.i.am to give free concert as part of the Global Poverty Project

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The concert in Washington is part of the Global Citizen project, which aims to encourage young people to donate to charity
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Paul Scholes column: I hear Manchester City are closing on Pep Guardiola for next summer – but I'd also love to see Jürgen Klopp managing in England

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I hear Manchester City are closing on Pep Guardiola for next summer – but I'd also love to see Jürgen Klopp managing in England