DVD: Perrier's Bounty (15)

Two thugs scrunch pistachio nuts in front of Cillian Murphy's petrified low-life, Michael.

Moby Dick, Lyric Hammersmith, London

"Call me Ishmael" goes the famous opening line of Moby Dick. "Call me a taxi," I muttered under my breath. To be fair, it gets better, as the quartet of performers in Spymonkey warm to their task of doing a sort of Marx Brothers meets Hellzapoppin' job on Herman Melville's epic, the joke being, of course, that the whale is a rubber duck and Captain Ahab's a delusional idiot.

Perrier's Bounty (15)

A volatile caper told with fizz

Muse, By Susan Irvine

Susan Irvine's wild and wicked novel of a young fashionista and her cross-Channel adventures in style, sex and anomie comes on hot and strong, like some bloated mutant offspring of Anaïs Nin and Bridget Jones.

Duchess attends Victoria premiere

The Duchess of York attended the world premiere of The Young Victoria, declaring that it was the culmination of 15 years of dreaming.

Parties: Tales from the crypt

It was hard not to look at Mathew Horne in a new light after the opening night of Entertaining Mr Sloane, a revival of Joe Orton's play at the Trafalgar Studios. Previously known as the everyday man Gavin, from Gavin and Stacey, Horne had evolved into the play's ruthless seducer; and his new-found sexual magnetism didn't end after the curtains came down: as guests entered the recently restored vaulted crypt of St Martin's in the Fields, London, life imitated art, as a stream of admirers threatened to overwhelm Horne with gushing praise and a barrage of flirting (from both sexes).

Nicholas Nickleby

Directed by Douglas McGrath

Sue Arnold: Warning... It's dangerous to talk to computers

He told her that it had taken him a month to find her 'Playboy' centrefold, she sobbed

Timeless or tedious? 'Pride and Prejudice may not address the social problems of the time but it is as relevant now as the day it was written'

As Elizabeth Bennet and Mr Darcy reappear in yet another dramatisation, we ask if Jane Austen's classic really is the most perfect English novel - or just a 19th-century Mills & Boon

The true story of Bridget Jones

<preform>Long before the best-selling books and star-studded film premieres, Helen Fielding began writing an anonymous weekly column in 'The Independent'. Terry Kirby </b></i>on the birth of a global phenomenon</preform>

The Week in Radio: Accent U8 the positive

RADIO 4 ran a vivid report last month on the toxicity of caffeine - the pre-disposition of drinkers to heart disease, stroke, and so on. Just to see if it was possible, I cut out not just exotic coffee, but friendly old tea as well and, like Phillip Marlowe struck with a cosh, a black pool opened up beneath me and I dived in.

Film: Play for yesterday

The Big Pictures: LITTLE VOICE (15) DIRECTOR: MARK HERMAN STARRING: JANE HORROCKS, MICHAEL CAINE, EWAN McGREGOR 97 MINS TO HAVE AND HAVE NOT (PG) DIRECTOR: HOWARD HAWKS STARRING: HUMPHREY BOGART, LAUREN BACALL 100 MINS
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Our leaders lack courage in this refugee crisis. We are shamed by our European neighbours

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Isis profits from destruction of antiquities by selling relics to dealers - and then blowing up the buildings they come from to conceal the evidence of looting

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Labour leadership: Andy Burnham urges Jeremy Corbyn voters to think again in last-minute plea

'If we lose touch we’ll end up with two decades of the Tories'

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Tunisia fears its Arab Spring could be reversed as the new regime becomes as intolerant of dissent as its predecessor

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King Arthur: Legendary figure was real and lived most of his life in Strathclyde, academic claims

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Who is Oliver Bonas and how has he captured middle-class hearts?

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It's the first high-street store to pay its staff the living wage, and it saw out the recession in style
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Axe-wielding Man fells half the world’s trees – leaving us just 422 each

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60 years of Scalextric: Model cars are now stuffed with as much tech as real ones

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Theme parks continue to draw in thrill-seekers despite the risks - so why are we so addicted?

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