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John Galliano

Diary: Kelvin's breathless ascent to the moral high ground

The annual midwinter observance is upon us. I refer, of course, to Festivus – the "festival for the rest of us" created by the fiercely anti-religious Frank Costanza, the Christopher Hitchens of the sitcom Seinfeld. The appeal of its central rite, The Airing of the Grievances, speaks for itself. Yet this column seeks only the best in others, so let's begin with Kelvin Mackenzie. No article from 2011 delighted me like his Daily Mail blog of last week, headlined "Who Will Say Sorry To Rupert?" Oddly this wasn't a Kelvin mea culpa for picking a (superinjunction-related) fight with Jeremy Clarkson in front of a horrified Murdoch at a party last summer, days before he mysteriously vacated his Sun column.

Julie Burchill: The 'courage' of the fashion fools

On the island of Tanna in Vanuatu, the Prince Philip Movement is a religious sect followed by the Yaohnanen tribe, who believe that the Queen's ill-tempered, short-fused consort is a divine being. I've never got this, but over the past decade, observing the honour(s) given in this country to the fashion designer Vivienne Westwood, I can definitely see how such misguided reverence comes about.

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Diary: Lowe's sexy theatre experience

As the protagonist of the very first celebrity porno, dashing West Wing star and celebrity memoirist Rob Lowe knows a thing or two about inappropriate sexual activity. But even he was shocked by the erotic hobbies of one British couple.

The School for Scandal, Barbican Theatre, London

Deborah Warner's production of Sheridan's 18th-century comic masterpiece is a blast. The stage is strewn with huge, leaning pieces of scenery, scrawled captions, ladders, shopping bags. A fashion show is in progress, models bearing down on the audience in torn clothes, with rough placards of character traits --"Mr Hypocrite"; "A Teasing Temper"; "Perverse and Obstinate".