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It’s one of those awkward family photos that would be best gathering dust in an album, seen only by the eyes of one's nearest and dearest.

Carola Long: Don't let's be patronised by 'celebrities'

If ever there was a TV programme to leave one ranting at an invisible audience and lamenting the various ills of the age, it was this week's Famous, Rich and Jobless. Unfortunately, the ills affecting my blood pressure weren't the soul-destroying trap of unemployment and the difficulty of escaping it, as they should have been. Instead, it was the meaningless ubiquity of celebrities symbolised by Not Famous, Rich and Clueless – as it should have been called.

Tailor-made to take fashion into the 21st century

Richard Northedge talks to impresario Harold Tillman, the man who boosted London's haute couture reputation

Christina Patterson: Why politics isn't just a game for the boys

We’ve seen what happens when a gung-ho, risk-ridden male culture prevails

Christina Patterson: If you want to be adored, just shut up

So, poor old Hollywood's got its knickers in a twist about Twitter. The biggest, slickest marketing machine in the world can't keep its hands off a medium that's all about youth, and being plugged in, and being hip, that's also, like, instant, and, more importantly, free, which is totally cool, but there's just one little problem. The stars.

Pandora: Wheeler offers a ray of sunshine for Ukip

There was not, Pandora suspects, the cheeriest of moods among Ukip bean counters yesterday, after the Court of Appeal declared nearly £350,000-worth of donations to the party illegal.

The bluffer's guide to the Tory conference

A climactic leader's speech, a new-found macho Shadow Chancellor and a surprise Army recruit spiced up an otherwise dull week

Lady in waiting: Samantha Cameron

The woman who aspires to be the next prime ministerial wife may not be overtly political but she is already playing a powerful role

Conference Diary: A case of Major vu?

You have to go back nearly two decades to the days of John Major's brief honeymoon as Prime Minister to find a similar sense of anticipation at a Tory conference. They began queuing for the best seats for Dave's speech nearly three hours before he strode on to the conference platform.

The perils of privilege: why class remains Cameron's Achilles' heel

The Tory leader is sensitive to questions about his wealth and background. Andy McSmith explains why

Through the MP keyhole

Glittery loo seats or designer chairs? Annie Deakin names the politicians with bad taste and those with style

DJ Taylor: Let them drink Scotch

Welcome to a world where the booze lobby looks on through rosé-tinted glasses, film buffs don't get a chance to see Gilliam's vision, and we all watch poor Jade's suffering packaged for primetime TV

David and Ivan Cameron: Father and son

James Hanning, David Cameron's biographer, reveals the sensitivity of the Tory leader as he grieves with Samantha, Nancy and Elwen for Ivan

Even now, parties move on to war footing

The next general election may be 18 months away, but behind the scenes all the players are preparing the ground

2008: The year politics rocked design

Annie Deakin looks back at a year of chic campaigns in the Cabinet

Sarah Sands: The true message of Dave's Christmas card

The Boden winter catalogue is a reminder of life's verities. It is always funny to wrap bright, knitted scarves round snowmen and old school ties round dogs. Young mothers should always have long, glossy, straight hair, scrubbed faces and coltish figures. Holidays do not require sunshine. Boden people paddle hilariously in Boden boots through rivers and run across beaches in woolly hats. Children scramble on to the bonnets of Land Rovers. If I buy Boden please, please can I be Samantha Cameron?

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Day In a Page

Burgundy, the River Rhone & Provence – MS Swiss Corona - seven nights from £999pp
Lake Maggiore, Orta and the Matterhorn – seven nights from £899pp
Sicily – seven nights from £939pp
Pompeii, Capri and the Bay of Naples - seven nights from £799pp
Istanbul Ephesus & Troy – six nights from £859pp
Mary Rose – two nights from £319pp
Alexander Fury: The designer names to look for at fashion week this season

The big names to look for this fashion week

This week, designers begin to show their spring 2015 collections in New York
Will Self: 'I like Orwell's writing as much as the next talented mediocrity'

'I like Orwell's writing as much as the next talented mediocrity'

Will Self takes aim at Orwell's rules for writing plain English
Meet Afghanistan's middle-class paint-ballers

Meet Afghanistan's middle-class paint-ballers

Toy guns proving a popular diversion in a country flooded with the real thing
Al Pacino wows Venice

Al Pacino wows Venice

Ham among the brilliance as actor premieres two films at festival
Neil Lawson Baker interview: ‘I’ve gained so much from art. It’s only right to give something back’.

Neil Lawson Baker interview

‘I’ve gained so much from art. It’s only right to give something back’.
The other Mugabe who is lining up for the Zimbabwean presidency

The other Mugabe who is lining up for the Zimbabwean presidency

Wife of President Robert Mugabe appears to have her sights set on succeeding her husband
The model of a gadget launch: Cultivate an atmosphere of mystery and excitement to sell stuff people didn't realise they needed

The model for a gadget launch

Cultivate an atmosphere of mystery and excitement to sell stuff people didn't realise they needed
Alice Roberts: She's done pretty well, for a boffin without a beard

She's done pretty well, for a boffin without a beard

Alice Roberts talks about her new book on evolution - and why her early TV work drew flak from (mostly male) colleagues
Get well soon, Joan Rivers - an inspiration, whether she likes it or not

Get well soon, Joan Rivers

She is awful. But she's also wonderful, not in spite of but because of the fact she's forever saying appalling things, argues Ellen E Jones
Doctor Who Into the Dalek review: A classic sci-fi adventure with all the spectacle of a blockbuster

A fresh take on an old foe

Doctor Who Into the Dalek more than compensated for last week's nonsensical offering
Fashion walks away from the celebrity runway show

Fashion walks away from the celebrity runway show

As the collections start, fashion editor Alexander Fury finds video and the internet are proving more attractive
Meet the stars of TV's Wolf Hall... and it's not the cast of the Tudor trilogy

Meet the stars of TV's Wolf Hall...

... and it's not the cast of the Tudor trilogy
Weekend at the Asylum: Europe's biggest steampunk convention heads to Lincoln

Europe's biggest steampunk convention

Jake Wallis Simons discovers how Victorian ray guns and the martial art of biscuit dunking are precisely what the 21st century needs
Don't swallow the tripe – a user's guide to weasel words

Don't swallow the tripe – a user's guide to weasel words

Lying is dangerous and unnecessary. A new book explains the strategies needed to avoid it. John Rentoul on the art of 'uncommunication'
Daddy, who was Richard Attenborough? Was the beloved thespian the last of the cross-generation stars?

Daddy, who was Richard Attenborough?

The atomisation of culture means that few of those we regard as stars are universally loved any more, says DJ Taylor