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In my previous dispatch from the traumatic home-hunting frontline, where regiments of estate agents fire broadsides of scorn at our hilarious budget-to-square-footage aspirations, I detailed how one such know-it-all had been forced to tell us – just as we were about to enter – why the house was unsellable, due to the all-pervasive stench of chemicals from the dry cleaner down below. Needless to say, we weren't inordinately tempted.

<i>Game of Thrones</i>, distinguished by its spectacular visuals, is at its best when tongue in cheek

Game of Thrones, Sky Atlantic, Sunday
The Undateables, Channel 4, Tuesday
Marrying Prince Harry, Channel 4, Friday

The return of a cult fantasy show tempts even a sceptical viewer to mug up on myths and maps

And relax: Rebecca Newman and Alan Dolan at his retreat Nazaret in Lanzarote

Take a deep breath: Discover the power of oxygen at a transformational breathing retreat

Lanzarote airport. Sugar-hyped children. Suntans. A smattering of leopard print. One lone female on a plastic seat, weeping. Reader, she was me, after an intensive breathing retreat.

Justin Lee Collins leaves St Albans Magistrates Court

Justin Lee Collins to face trial over ex-girlfriend

Comedian Justin Lee Collins is to stand trial for allegedly harassing his former girlfriend.

The Trench: A versatile classic for wet weather, warmer winters, cold springs and everything else in between. Burberry's version has become the benchmark, with its 156-year heritage and sturdy gabardine, cut to flatter any shape. £850, Burberry London, burberry.com

The capsule wardrobe: Fashion changes, these endure

The capsule wardrobe may sound complex – but it's a shopping strategy that will see you through hard times and last for years to come, says Harriet Walker

Chic moustaches feature on May's Tatler magazine

Trending: The lady mo' has its moment

A beautiful woman wearing a moustache has a strange hold on the imagination. Witness timeless knockout Christy Turlington sporting an upper-lip decoration on the cover of May's Tatler magazine and look no further than your local high street for hordes of hipsters dressing up as dandies on a hen night.

Denise Lewis is an Olympics ambassador for the 2012 Games

My Secret Life: Denise lewis, 39, athlete

My parents were... I grew up with my mum. She was very, very organised, a bit of a disciplinarian. We were like a little team, more like big sister, little sister.

Beyond Ballets Russes 1 London Coliseum, London

 After a winter of limited repertory, English National Ballet burst into spring with two ambitious programmes. The Beyond Ballets Russes season starts with a new ballet, new designs and some bright performances. The new Firebird doesn’t take off, but Erina Takahashi is a blazing Chosen One in The Rite of Spring.

Coppélia, London Coliseum, London

Coppélia is a village comedy with a streak of fantasy, from quarrelling lovers to dancing mechanical dolls. Birmingham Royal Ballet’s production has a light touch and a sunny atmosphere, from the bouncy corps dances to Nao Sakuma’s heroine.

Ready to Wear: Some people are natural fashion plates – but the rest of us are not

Victoria Beckham was once rarely seen without a baseball cap jammed on

When the Killing's Done, By TC Boyle

Conservation thriller with no end of rats

Figleaves underwear advert sparks complaints

A poster advert for a lingerie company featuring a woman in bra, knickers, stockings and stiletto shoes has prompted complaints it was "offensive" and unsuitable for display where it might be seen by children.

Independent Bath Literature Festival: The book has a future – but what will it look like?

Authors ask what happens next for publishing as figures reveal print sales are down 18 per cent

Phoebe Philo, the creative director of Céline

Philo shows Paris that the best designs come in small packages

Nothing short of perfect, says Susannah Frankel in Paris of the latest, understated collection from the creative director of Céline

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A model of a Neanderthal man on display at the National Museum of Prehistory in Dordogne, France
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Richard Dawkins dedicated his book 'The Greatest Show on Earth' to Josh Timonen
newsThat's Richard Dawkins on babies with Down Syndrome
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Eye of the beholder? 'Concrete lasagne' Preston bus station
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Anna Nicole Smith died of an accidental overdose in 2007
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'The Great British Bake Off' showcases food at its most sumptuous
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A cupboard on sale for £7,500 in London
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Day In a Page

Burgundy, the River Rhone & Provence – MS Swiss Corona - seven nights from £999pp
Lake Maggiore, Orta and the Matterhorn – seven nights from £899pp
Sicily – seven nights from £939pp
Pompeii, Capri and the Bay of Naples - seven nights from £799pp
Istanbul Ephesus & Troy – six nights from £859pp
Mary Rose – two nights from £319pp
Middle East crisis: We know all too much about the cruelty of Isis – but all too little about who they are

We know all too much about the cruelty of Isis – but all too little about who they are

Now Obama has seen the next US reporter to be threatened with beheading, will he blink, asks Robert Fisk
Neanderthals lived alongside humans for centuries, latest study shows

Final resting place of our Neanderthal neighbours revealed

Bones dated to 40,000 years ago show species may have died out in Belgium species co-existed
Scottish independence: The new Scots who hold fate of the UK in their hands

The new Scots who hold fate of the UK in their hands

Scotland’s immigrants are as passionate about the future of their adopted nation as anyone else
Britain's ugliest buildings: Which monstrosities should be nominated for the Dead Prize?

Blight club: Britain's ugliest buildings

Following the architect Cameron Sinclair's introduction of the Dead Prize, an award for ugly buildings, John Rentoul reflects on some of the biggest blots on the UK landscape
eBay's enduring appeal: Online auction site is still the UK's most popular e-commerce retailer

eBay's enduring appeal

The online auction site is still the UK's most popular e-commerce site
Culture Minister Ed Vaizey: ‘lack of ethnic minority and black faces on TV is weird’

'Lack of ethnic minority and black faces on TV is weird'

Culture Minister Ed Vaizey calls for immediate action to address the problem
Artist Olafur Eliasson's latest large-scale works are inspired by the paintings of JMW Turner

Magic circles: Artist Olafur Eliasson

Eliasson's works will go alongside a new exhibition of JMW Turner at Tate Britain. He tells Jay Merrick why the paintings of his hero are ripe for reinvention
Josephine Dickinson: 'A cochlear implant helped me to discover a new world of sound'

Josephine Dickinson: 'How I discovered a new world of sound'

After going deaf as a child, musician and poet Josephine Dickinson made do with a hearing aid for five decades. Then she had a cochlear implant - and everything changed
Greggs Google fail: Was the bakery's response to its logo mishap a stroke of marketing genius?

Greggs gives lesson in crisis management

After a mishap with their logo, high street staple Greggs went viral this week. But, as Simon Usborne discovers, their social media response was anything but half baked
Matthew McConaughey has been singing the praises of bumbags (shame he doesn't know how to wear one)

Matthew McConaughey sings the praises of bumbags

Shame he doesn't know how to wear one. Harriet Walker explains the dos and don'ts of fanny packs
7 best quadcopters and drones

Flying fun: 7 best quadcopters and drones

From state of the art devices with stabilised cameras to mini gadgets that can soar around the home, we take some flying objects for a spin
Joey Barton: ‘I’ve been guilty of getting a bit irate’

Joey Barton: ‘I’ve been guilty of getting a bit irate’

The midfielder returned to the Premier League after two years last weekend. The controversial character had much to discuss after his first game back
Andy Murray: I quit while I’m ahead too often

Andy Murray: I quit while I’m ahead too often

British No 1 knows his consistency as well as his fitness needs working on as he prepares for the US Open after a ‘very, very up and down’ year
Ferguson: In the heartlands of America, a descent into madness

A descent into madness in America's heartlands

David Usborne arrived in Ferguson, Missouri to be greeted by a scene more redolent of Gaza and Afghanistan
BBC’s filming of raid at Sir Cliff’s home ‘may be result of corruption’

BBC faces corruption allegation over its Sir Cliff police raid coverage

Reporter’s relationship with police under scrutiny as DG is summoned by MPs to explain extensive live broadcast of swoop on singer’s home