Playing a pantomime horse is no laughing matter. (Oh no it isn't!) For a start, it takes two performers. Julia Stuart made her stage debut - playing Clapton's rear end

IS THE new Oxford Dictionary of Quotations right to credit Alex Issigonis with the phrase "a camel is a horse designed by a commitee"? One had assumed it current before he found fame with his idiosyncratic motor-car, the Mini.

Men leaving, men lying, men bashing - truly my sex could do with the services of a good PR company right now. It can only get worse over the next few weeks too, given the way parties affect us. We are too easily destabilised, that's our trouble, too excited by company and wine, and too responsive to the primitive magic of dates and anniversaries. What man can keep the peace either side of a turning year? Or keep his word, or keep his counsel, or keep the faith, or keep any part of himself where it should be?

IN 1987, five days after getting married, Kate and I flew to Sudan to begin work as English teachers in the small desert township of Babanusa. Bored with England and disillusioned with Thatcherism, we had answered an advertisement which stated that "enthusiasm is more important than experience". An interview at the Sudanese Embassy, with talk of the harsh climate, the lack of alcohol and the monotonous diet, had only increased our excitement. Our honeymoon was going to be the biggest adventure of our lives.

It made theatre history - and now it's back. Stephen Fay goes behind the scenes of `The Mysteries'

A round-up of what's happening around the world this month

Sheffield Wednesday 0 Everton 2

IF YOU GO TO SEE ANYTHING TODAY, THEN CHOOSE FROM ONE OF THESE FIVE MUST-SEE SHOWS

Shena Guild survives a bumpy ride on a camel as she treks into the Syrian desert and samples the life of a nomad

TEN YEARS ago George Adamson was shot dead by Somali bandits as he drove his Land Rover at an armed poaching gang in an effort to save a friend. He was killed at Kora, the dry tract of land in the north-east of Kenya where he had lived and worked with lions.

Gary Hume works in gloss housepaint on aluminium. The appeal is elusive, yet his work stands out at this year's Edinburgh Festival. Tom Lubbock wonders why

THIS IS DAGIRANZ, a retired Mongolian superstar, playing his horse- headed fiddle to a gathering of camels. Dagiranz was discovered in a local talent competition in his early forties, and duly became the country's most celebrated singer - their homegrown Bing Crosby. His career was long and distinguished: he starred in many films and had a large, faithful following, but when he reached the age of 70 he decided to retire. After living for 26 years in Ulan Bataar, the capital of Mongolia, he made the journey back to the region on the edge of the Gobi Desert where his family had lived for generations, and where he had grown up.

There are many ways to explore Egypt, but the best is by local taxi. Just make sure you arrive at your tomb of choice. By David Sharp

War in the Balkans: Diplomacy