Arts and Entertainment
 

Jack Whitehall was crowned King of Comedy at the ceremony in London

Burke posts British triumph but Cannes critics unmoved

The British actress Kathy Burke last night won Best Actress at the 50th Cannes Film Festival. Burke, known to millions of television viewers as Waynetta Slob in Harry Enfield & Friends, won for her performance in Nil By Mouth, directed by Gary Oldman.

Watch out, she's a Rottweiler

Easter Sunday's Desert Island Discs personage is none other than Virginia Ironside of The Independent. Why, she does not know. But the way Sue Lawley introduced her was enough to bring a blush to the cheek of any agony aunt

Nice one, Eric

He may be deaf and almost blind but, at 73, Eric Sykes can still teach us a thing or two about comedy. Which is why Sir Peter Hall has given him a show-stealing role in his latest production. Interview by Jasper Rees

Harry's game

Enfield front of camera, Enfield directing, Enfield scripting. For today's celebrities, a generous fee for an advertising campaign, sometimes in six figures, is no longer enough. They want to take charge. By Meg Carter

Football: Geordies on the mind for Everton

Everton 2 Bradford City 3

Review: The history women

THEATRE The Shift Young Vic, London

Stephen Brenkley watches a deserted sidekick endure a long afternoon

AS THE Newcastle team bus pulled into Villa Park yesterday the caretaker manager Terry McDermott stared intently ahead. He looked apprehensive and tired and his grey mop of curly hair drooped slightly. Photographs would doubtless have demonstrated that in four days he had aged four years.

NO SLOB STORY

Actress KATHY BURKE talks with James Rampton If someone's casting for a bit of rough, you can't get rougher than me

YES PLEASE;

Just how long can I go without featuring a bra on these pages? Not long. But the thing I really liked about this one, from Marks & Spencer's new "Gardenia" collection is that it goes up to a size 40DD, which, considering how gorgeous it is, is rather a refreshing change. Normally us bigger girls have to make to with straps the size of weight-lifting belts, and so many fastenings at the back that hooking yourself into or out of it becomes a yoga move.The bra (style 2678) costs pounds 15, in sizes 32B-40DD. The matching high-leg knickers (3221) cost pounds 6.50 and come in sizes 8/10 to 20/22 (again, nice and generous). Colours are purple, white, cream, red and black.

LOADSA CHARACTERS

The Eye Profile: Master mimic HARRY ENFIELD talks with James Rampton

Here is Islamic Barbie, complete with chador and devout expression

Call me a drooling pervert, but I've become obsessed with Barbie dolls. I love the way they're supposed to embody, in nine inches of plastic, the supposed dreams and career plans of today's girls; and the way, in the interests of offering an eclectic portfolio of hobbies to the nation's seven-year-olds, the manufacturers keep coming up with more and more ridiculous things for her to do. With the help of my indefatigable assistant, Sophie (nine), I've identified: Mountain-Climbing Barbie, Skiing Barbie, Magic Songbird Barbie, Twirling Ballerina Barbie, Beach and Lifeguard Barbie, Barbie And Her Horse Nibbles, Teacher Barbie and Mermaid Barbie. Then there are the smutty variants for aspirant good-time girls - Gymnastic Barbie, and "Overnight Barbie With Overnight Bag" and, I dare say, one or two bags under her eyes as well ....

The Investment Column: Jury still out on United Biscuits

Harry Enfield, Jane Asher and Linda McCartney have all been enlisted recently by United Biscuits, the McVities biscuits and KP snacks group, in an attempt to win the high-stakes battle of the brands with rivals such as PepsiCo. It is not clear that it will be enough to placate the City.

I Stole Freddie Mercury's Birthday Cake by Malcolm Hardee with John Fleming, 4th Estate pounds 8.99.

What could a man who has built a career around the public display of his genitalia (albeit occasionally shielded by a hard-pressed balloon or three) possibly have left to reveal? A fair bit, it turns out. This characterful and not overly ghost-written autobiography contains a feast of scabrous reminiscence. It is also a great deal more fun than Malcolm Hardee's act - but then again, so is having your appendix removed.

Losers on sofas: a funny way to sell a snack

PETER YORK ON ADS: No 126: HULA HOOPS

The ads that get lost in translation

Companies seeking to sell their products to ethnic communities must cross cultural as well as language barriers with their marketing material
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Prices correct as of 1 May 2015
General Election 2015: ‘We will not sit down with Nicola Sturgeon’, says Ed Balls

'We will not sit down with Nicola Sturgeon'

In an exclusive interview, Ed Balls says he won't negotiate his first Budget with SNP MPs - even if Labour need their votes to secure its passage
VE Day 70th anniversary: How ordinary Britons celebrated the end of war in Europe

How ordinary Britons celebrated VE Day

Our perception of VE Day usually involves crowds of giddy Britons casting off the shackles of war with gay abandon. The truth was more nuanced
They came in with William Caxton's printing press, but typefaces still matter in the digital age

Typefaces still matter in the digital age

A new typeface once took years to create, now thousands are available at the click of a drop-down menu. So why do most of us still rely on the old classics, asks Meg Carter?
Discovery of 'missing link' between the two main life-forms on Earth could explain evolution of animals, say scientists

'Missing link' between Earth's two life-forms found

New microbial species tells us something about our dark past, say scientists
The Pan Am Experience is a 'flight' back to the 1970s that never takes off - at least, not literally

Pan Am Experience: A 'flight' back to the 70s

Tim Walker checks in and checks out a four-hour journey with a difference
Humans aren't alone in indulging in politics - it's everywhere in the animal world

Humans aren't alone in indulging in politics

Voting, mutual back-scratching, coups and charismatic leaders - it's everywhere in the animal world
Crisp sales are in decline - but this tasty trivia might tempt back the turncoats

Crisp sales are in decline

As a nation we're filling up on popcorn and pitta chips and forsaking their potato-based predecessors
Ronald McDonald the muse? Why Banksy, Ron English and Keith Coventry are lovin' Maccy D's

Ronald McDonald the muse

A new wave of artists is taking inspiration from the fast food chain
13 best picnic blankets

13 best picnic blankets

Dine al fresco without the grass stains and damp bottoms with something from our pick of picnic rugs
Barcelona 3 Bayern Munich 0 player ratings: Lionel Messi scores twice - but does he score highest in our ratings?

Barcelona vs Bayern Munich player ratings

Lionel Messi scores twice - but does he score highest in our ratings?
Martin Guptill: Explosive New Zealand batsman who sets the range for Kiwis' big guns

Explosive batsman who sets the range for Kiwis' big guns

Martin Guptill has smashed early runs for Derbyshire and tells Richard Edwards to expect more from the 'freakish' Brendon McCullum and his buoyant team during their tour of England
General Election 2015: Ed Miliband's unlikely journey from hapless geek to heart-throb

Miliband's unlikely journey from hapless geek to heart-throb

He was meant to be Labour's biggest handicap - but has become almost an asset
General Election 2015: A guide to the smaller parties, from the the National Health Action Party to the Church of the Militant Elvis Party

On the margins

From Militant Elvis to Women's Equality: a guide to the underdogs standing in the election
Amr Darrag: Ex-Muslim Brotherhood minister in exile still believes Egypt's military regime can be replaced with 'moderate' Islamic rule

'This is the battle of young Egypt for the future of our country'

Ex-Muslim Brotherhood minister Amr Darrag still believes the opposition can rid Egypt of its military regime and replace it with 'moderate' Islamic rule, he tells Robert Fisk
Why patients must rely less on doctors: Improving our own health is the 'blockbuster drug of the century'

Why patients must rely less on doctors

Improving our own health is the 'blockbuster drug of the century'