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Sounds like a cryptic crossword clue.

Simon Hall admits he murdered 79-year-old Joan Albert despite decade campaigning for 'miscarriage of justice'

Suffolk victim was found in her hallway after being stabbed five times

Sean Browne (David Beckham), Tom Davey (Prince William) and Dugald Bruce-Lockhart (David Cameron) in Three Lions

Edinburgh 2013: The Three Lions - Prince William meets Davids Cameron and Beckham in this old-fashioned farce

When David Beckham turned up at the Royal Wedding, many were baffled by the friendship between the footballer and the future King. What on earth could they have to talk about? Grammar and hair products, for a start. At least that's how William Gaminara imagines it in his witty new comedy, The Three Lions.

Bassist Jared Hasselhoff of the American rock group Bloodhound Gang is seen pushing the Russian white-blue-red tricolour flag into the front of his pants during a concert in the city of Odessa

US band Bloodhound Gang ejected from Russia after flag stunt

Rock group could face criminal charges for their onstage antics

Gentlemen, Gypsies and Jesters, by Anthony Gibson and Stephen Chalke

It is a constant lament that league cricket has taken a lot of the fun out of the amateur game, but this sparkling history of wandering sides, stuffed with good anecdotes, indicates that there are still many who enjoy playing friendly matches in the right spirit and with a smile on their faces. No fewer than 114 clubs are featured, many still going strong, some less so, starting with the most historic of all, I Zingari (The Gypsies), founded in 1845.

John Rentoul: A 'no' to shorts

Shorts: Can men in the real world ever carry off exposed knees?

Designers love them, but can we really take a man in shorts seriously? Fashion editor Alexander Fury says yes, but chief political commentator John Rentoul – a habitual suit-wearer – begs to differ

Gucci spring/summer 2013

iStyle: Layer up

The skirt and trousers combo has returned. But fear not, says  Hannah Fillis – this is not just another Nineties revival

Life on Marsden: I’m turning into the worst sort of middle-class snob

I was cross, but I wasn’t sure why...

Abiona Omonua and Cynthia Erivo in The Color Purple the musical

Theatre review: The Color Purple, Menier Chocolate Factory

Menier Chocolate Factory, London

Alun Wyn Jones and I get down to some serious celebrating

Jamie Roberts: Scoring in a Lions series was a heck of a buzz – a moment I'll treasure

In the Lions Den: I'll miss living in Wales hugely but the move is really exciting

Czech woman's brush with death after falling under train

A Czech woman has had a remarkable escape after falling under an oncoming train and crawling out from between carriages unscathed.

Eugenie Bouchard

Wimbledon 2013 diary: Laura Robson's Gangnam pal still on song, and the referee has his kickers in a twist

Eugenie Bouchard's surprise victory over Ana Ivanovic, the No 12 seed, meant that both the women behind last year's surprise Gangnam-style YouTube hit are still strutting their stuff on the grass. Bouchard and her best friend on tour, Laura Robson, both 19 and born less than a month apart, persuaded the likes of Maria Sharapova and Jo Wilfried Tsonga to take part in the video that has now had nearly 375,000 views.

New images of Canning Town sex attacker released

Police have released new CCTV stills of a man suspected of carrying out a string of sex attacks.

Bloc party: Paul Smith s/s13

iStyle: Mix but don’t match

Throw caution to the wind and take inspiration from Italy this season. It’s time to colour block your wardrobe, says Lee Holmes

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Actors front row from left, Jared Leto, Jennifer Lawrence, Meryl Streep, Ellen DeGeneres, Bradley Cooper, Peter Nyongío Jr., and, second row, from left, Channing Tatum, Julia Roberts, Kevin Spacey, Brad Pitt, Lupita Nyongío and Angelina Jolie as they pose for a
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Day In a Page

Burgundy, the River Rhone & Provence – MS Swiss Corona - seven nights from £999pp
Lake Maggiore, Orta and the Matterhorn – seven nights from £899pp
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All this talk of an ‘apocalyptic’ threat is simply childish

Robert Fisk: All this talk of an ‘apocalyptic’ threat is simply childish

Chuck Hagel and Martin Dempsey were pure Hollywood. They only needed Tom Cruise
Mafia Dons: is the Camorra in control of the Granite City?

Mafia Dons: is the Camorra in control of the Granite City?

So claims an EU report which points to the Italian Mob’s alleged grip on everything from public works to property
Emmys look set to overhaul the Oscars as Hollywood’s prize draw

Emmys look set to overhaul the Oscars as Hollywood’s prize draw

Once the poor relation, the awards show now has the top stars and boasts the best drama
What happens to African migrants once they land in Italy during the summer?

What happens to migrants once they land in Italy?

Memphis Barker follows their trail through southern Europe
French connection: After 1,300 years, there’s a bridge to Mont Saint-Michel

French connection: After 1,300 years, there’s a bridge to Mont Saint-Michel

The ugly causeway is being dismantled, an elegant connection erected in its place. So everyone’s happy, right?
Frank Mugisha: Uganda's most outspoken gay rights activist on changing people's attitudes, coming out, and the threat of being attacked

Frank Mugisha: 'Coming out was a gradual process '

Uganda's most outspoken gay rights activist on changing people's attitudes, coming out, and the threat of being attacked
Radio 1 to hire 'YouTube-famous' vloggers to broadcast online

Radio 1’s new top ten

The ‘vloggers’ signed up to find twentysomething audience
David Abraham: Big ideas for the small screen

David Abraham: Big ideas for the small screen

A blistering attack on US influence on British television has lifted the savvy head of Channel 4 out of the shadows
Florence Knight's perfect picnic: Make the most of summer's last Bank Holiday weekend

Florence Knight's perfect picnic

Polpetto's head chef shares her favourite recipes from Iced Earl Grey tea to baked peaches, mascarpone & brown sugar meringues...
Horst P Horst: The fashion photography genius who inspired Madonna comes to the V&A

Horst P Horst comes to the V&A

The London's museum has delved into its archives to stage a far-reaching retrospective celebrating the photographer's six decades of creativity
Mark Hix recipes: Try our chef's summery soups for a real seasonal refresher

Mark Hix's summery soups

Soup isn’t just about comforting broths and steaming hot bowls...
Tim Sherwood column: 'It started as a three-horse race but turned into the Grand National'

Tim Sherwood column

I would have taken the Crystal Palace job if I’d been offered it soon after my interview... but the whole process dragged on so I had to pull out
Eden Hazard: Young, gifted... not yet perfect

Eden Hazard: Young, gifted... not yet perfect

Eden Hazard admits he is still below the level of Ronaldo and Messi but, after a breakthrough season, is ready to thrill Chelsea’s fans
Tim Howard: I’m an old dog. I don’t get too excited

Tim Howard: I’m an old dog. I don’t get too excited

The Everton and US goalkeeper was such a star at the World Cup that the President phoned to congratulate him... not that he knows what the fuss is all about
Match of the Day at 50: Show reminds us that even the most revered BBC institution may have a finite lifespan – thanks to the opposition

Tom Peck on Match of the Day at 50

The show reminds us that even the most revered BBC institution may have a finite lifespan – thanks to the opposition