There is only one thing worse than not getting to play in the Masters and that is only getting to play for two days.
Wayne Rooney may be feeling hard done by after being handed a two-match ban for foul language, but he can consider himself fortunate next to Brazilian prodigy Neymar. The striker was sent off on Wednesday for marking a goal by wearing a mask – of his own face.
Among the tell-tale signs of approaching spring last week were daffodils, crocuses, primroses and an old fool proving once more how treacherous it is to emerge from a long winter feeling as if the green shoots of improvement are creeping up your trouser leg.
The devil makes work for idle hands to do and I've seen more hackers pushing trolleys around Tesco over the past week than I normally see on the golf course – and they are not very good at letting people through there, either.
Bradford Bulls 0 Crusaders 19
Half-price Isle of Wight
Red Funnel is offering up to 50 per cent off return ferry travel this month when booked with accommodation. Breaks start from £74 per person.
Go to redfunnel.co.uk
Durham 329-3 MCC
Harbhajan Singh claimed five-wickets as India sealed a dramatic innings and 58-run victory on the final day of the second Test against South Africa at the Eden Gardens to draw the series 1-1 and retain their place at the top of the ICC rankings.
Thelma Speirs is one half of the millinery label Bernstock Speirs, which launched in 1982. Six years later, she and Paul Bernstock made the iconic topless hat worn by Kylie Minogue on the cover of her first album; they have since collaborated with Jean-Paul Gaultier, among others. Thelma, 50, lives above a café on Columbia Road in east London; Paul lives in the flat below her. Visit their online shop at bernstockspeirs.com
The Danish haven of Samso is one of the world's first industrialised places to become energy self-sufficient – a great boost for a country about to host a summit on climate change. Tony Paterson visits the windy isle
Woodchip power stations are set for a boom. But conservationists are increasingly challenging their green credentials. Special report by Graham Mole
Leeds Rhinos 18 St Helens 10: Union-bound back says farewell in the best style possible by keeping Super League title in Yorkshire
The comedy actor is fairly certain his West End debut is a play... isn't it?
One thing in golf you will never be short of is advice, and the worse you play the greater is the number of people anxious to help you.
It was one of rugby's revealed truths that however Gloucester approached a Premiership fixture at the Recreation Ground – travel on the day, stay overnight to avoid the traffic, pick a running team, choose a fighting team, take the field in high heels and suspenders – they would never win one. So much for truth and revelation. At the weekend, Dean Ryan's team finally put an end to a story stretching all the way back to Aesop by beating Bath on the banks of the Avon. They could not have timed it better, for they may never have had another chance.
The heroics of Harrington have met with a muted response but it is scandalous not to salute his greatness. By James Corrigan