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An ode to the dedicated souls pounding away out on the river before the sun's even up

James Cusick: Hospital patients swelling the gate – welcome to life in the Scottish Third Division

There won't be many supporters (or pies) but Rangers and their fans will get a warm welcome

The Last of the Haussmans, Lyttelton, National Theatre, London

It seems to be open season on the baby-boomer generation in the English theatre at the moment.  First we had Love, Love, Love from Mike Bartlett at the Royal Court.  Now, in his debut play in the Lyttelton, Stephen Beresford takes a similar, comically sceptical look at the dubious legacy that these folk have bequeathed to their children.

Extravagant print: Rosamund Pike

Trending: Warning! Emo hair can (er, might) damage your health

Is your teenager suffering from Emo Fringe? Now you may have a medical reason for forbidding the dreadful 'do, rather than just an aesthetic one. Andrew Hogan, a Tasmanian optometrist, suggests in an interview with the Hobart-based newspaper The Mercury that "if a young emo chap has a fringe covering one eye all the time, that eye won't see a lot of detail ... and if it happens from a young age, that eye can become amblyopic". Amblyopia is also known as "lazy eye" syndrome.

How to be beautiful: How to get your beauty sleep

Owning a separate set of night-time beauty products is not in itself a sign of serious discipline in your skincare regime. It's actually using them every evening that signals a higher state of being, cosmetically speaking.

Elemental Herbology Perfect Clarity Blemish Minimiser, £24, asos.com

How To Be Beautiful: Blemish treatments

One unexpected benefit of passing from teenage years into adulthood is that, if you're lucky, 10 per cent of your brain is no longer wasted on the daily monitoring of spots. The period of grace before that same 10 per cent is diverted to wrinkle-watch may be woefully brief, but since lines progress imperceptibly, it's impossible to maintain a vigil of the same intensity.

Vidal Sassoon, the man who invented modern hairdressing, dies aged 84

The stylist opened his first salon in London in 1954 and helped shape the look of the Swinging Sixties

Beautiful way to revive the economy

Gloom sweeps Europe, unemployment keeps rising and pay rises are a distant memory. But hope for the economy arrives today in an unlikely, though beautifully coiffured, shape: hairdressers.

Hairdressers make short work of recession

Gloom sweeps Europe, unemployment keeps rising and pay rises are a distant memory. But hope for the economy arrives today in an unlikely, though beautifully coiffured, shape: hairdressers.

Tanning salons failing to check teens' sunbed use

Tanning salons are still putting teenagers at risk of skin disease by failing to check the age of sunbed users.

A world record attempt with a sting in the tail

Remember Room 101 in George Orwell's 1984? The place where you were confronted with your worst nightmares? Well if you don't like stinging insects, this is Room 101 for you: Chinese beekeeper She Ping covered with an estimated 331,000 honeybees, in an attempt to break the world record for such a practice.

Patient set alight during surgery

A patient undergoing surgery was set on fire when a solution used to clean skin ignited. The incident happened at Scarborough Hospital in North Yorkshire.

How do you know what to try?

Say no to the scalpel

So you'd never have a facelift – but what about a little 'help'? The newest hi-tech, non-invasive treatments can have dramatic effects – but not all of them are for the fainthearted

Adele cancels US tour amid fears of vocal cord damage

The singer Adele has cancelled her 10-date US tour as she revealed she is in danger of permanently damaging her vocal cords.

The Brave, By Nicholas Evans

Throughout his writing career, Evans has survived life-changing dramas as catastrophic as those faced by his characters. While completing his bestseller, The Horse Whisperer he learnt he was suffering from skin cancer; his latest book was delayed when he and his family became critically ill after consuming a basketful of poisonous mushrooms.

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Emergency call 'started off dumb, but got pretty serious'

News
people

Britain First criticised for using actress's memory to draw attention to their 'hate-filled home page'

Arts and Entertainment
Liam and Zayn of One Direction play with a chimpanzee on the set of their new video for 'Steal My Girl'
music

Animal welfare charities have urged the boy band to cut the scenes

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Russell Brand was in typically combative form during his promotional interview with Newsnight's Evan Davis
people

Thought you'd seen it all after the Jeremy Paxman interview?

Arts and Entertainment
On The Apprentice, “serious” left the room many moons ago and yet still we watch
tv

Greatest mystery about the hit BBC1 show is how it continues to be made at all, writes Grace Dent

Voices
Funds raised from the sale of poppies help the members of the armed forces with financial difficulties
voicesLindsey German: The best way of protecting soldiers is to stop sending them into conflicts
Arts and Entertainment
A scene from David Ayer's 'Fury'
film

"History is violent," says the US Army tank commander Don "Wardaddy" Collier

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The Edge and his wife, Morleigh Steinberg, at the Academy Awards in 2014
peopleGuitarist faces protests over plan to build mansions in Malibu
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peopleFox presenter gives her less than favourable view of women in politics
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One bedroom terraced house for sale, Richmond Avenue, Islington, London N1. On with Winkworths for £275,000.
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Berlin, Dresden, Meissen & Colditz
Prices correct as of 17 October 2014
Wilko Johnson, now the bad news: musician splits with manager after police investigate assault claims

Wilko Johnson, now the bad news

Former Dr Feelgood splits with manager after police investigate assault claims
Mark Udall: The Democrat Senator with a fight on his hands ahead of the US midterm elections

Mark Udall: The Democrat Senator with a fight on his hands

The Senator for Colorado is for gay rights, for abortion rights – and in the Republicans’ sights as they threaten to take control of the Senate next month
New discoveries show more contact between far-flung prehistoric humans than had been thought

New discoveries show more contact between far-flung prehistoric humans than had been thought

Evidence found of contact between Easter Islanders and South America
Cerys Matthews reveals how her uncle taped 150 interviews for a biography of Dylan Thomas

Cerys Matthews on Dylan Thomas

The singer reveals how her uncle taped 150 interviews for a biography of the famous Welsh poet
DIY is not fun and we've finally realised this as a nation

Homebase closures: 'DIY is not fun'

Homebase has announced the closure of one in four of its stores. Nick Harding, who never did know his awl from his elbow, is glad to see the back of DIY
The Battle of the Five Armies: Air New Zealand releases new Hobbit-inspired in-flight video

Air New Zealand's wizard in-flight video

The airline has released a new Hobbit-inspired clip dubbed "The most epic safety video ever made"
Pumpkin spice is the flavour of the month - but can you stomach the sweetness?

Pumpkin spice is the flavour of the month

The combination of cinnamon, clove, nutmeg (and no actual pumpkin), now flavours everything from lattes to cream cheese in the US
11 best sonic skincare brushes

11 best sonic skincare brushes

Forget the flannel - take skincare to the next level by using your favourite cleanser with a sonic facial brush
Paul Scholes column: I'm not worried about Manchester United's defence - Chelsea test can be the making of Phil Jones and Marcos Rojo

Paul Scholes column

I'm not worried about Manchester United's defence - Chelsea test can be the making of Jones and Rojo
Frank Warren: Boxing has its problems but in all my time I've never seen a crooked fight

Frank Warren: Boxing has its problems but in all my time I've never seen a crooked fight

While other sports are stalked by corruption, we are an easy target for the critics
Jamie Roberts exclusive interview: 'I'm a man of my word – I'll stay in Paris'

Jamie Roberts: 'I'm a man of my word – I'll stay in Paris'

Wales centre says he’s not coming home but is looking to establish himself at Racing Métro
How could three tourists have been battered within an inch of their lives by a burglar in a plush London hotel?

A crime that reveals London's dark heart

How could three tourists have been battered within an inch of their lives by a burglar in a plush London hotel?
Meet 'Porridge' and 'Vampire': Chinese state TV is offering advice for citizens picking a Western moniker

Lost in translation: Western monikers

Chinese state TV is offering advice for citizens picking a Western moniker. Simon Usborne, who met a 'Porridge' and a 'Vampire' while in China, can see the problem
Handy hacks that make life easier: New book reveals how to rid your inbox of spam, protect your passwords and amplify your iPhone

Handy hacks that make life easier

New book reveals how to rid your email inbox of spam, protect your passwords and amplify your iPhone with a loo-roll
KidZania lets children try their hands at being a firefighter, doctor or factory worker for the day

KidZania: It's a small world

The new 'educational entertainment experience' in London's Shepherd's Bush will allow children to try out the jobs that are usually undertaken by adults, including firefighter, doctor or factory worker