If you've switched on the radio this summer, you'll already have heard Professor Green's utterly functionless, and funkless, cover of SOS Band's "Just Be Good to Me" which proves that "feat Lily Allen" is a caveat on a par with "may cause nausea".
A retired civil engineer whose 40-year habit of tunnelling under his home led to him being removed to a top-floor flat in a tower block has died, leaving council bosses with a further bill after it was revealed he had continued his burrowing habit even when living several hundred feet above the ground.
Andy McSmith finds a neighbourhood in shock following this week's fox attack
Who'd have thought the opening of the new East London Line last month would give birth to a new cultural organisation in the capital? Yet the savvy people behind CultureLine (cultureline.org.uk) were quick to see the benefits that the new rail extension could bring to a string of attractions along the route.
With his dark-blue uniform, earpiece and walkie-talkie, Nochem Perlberger could pass for a police officer as he patrols the leafy streets of London’s Stamford Hill neighbourhood. Like an officer of the law, he responds to emergency calls, visits crime scenes and pursues suspects.
Comedian Josie Long has been popping up on our televisions of late (notably Never Mind the Buzzcocks and The Culture Show), but fans take note – she is back on the London live circuit with two regular club nights. Long took a break this year from the Edinburgh Fringe – where she has previously won the If.comedy Best Newcomer award – and Lost Treasures and Adventure Club mark her return to the limelight.
Singer Leona Lewis was recovering today after being punched in the head as she signed books for fans.
Some bright upstarts ensure spirits aren't too dampened among the pseudo trendies
Dougie Freedman threw Leeds a promotion lifeline deep into stoppage-time after Carlisle had stolen a two-goal advantage in the first leg of their Coca-Cola League One play-off semi-final.
English Touring Opera really are getting their act together, with two other new productions in addition to Donizetti's seldom-seen Anna Bolena. And, as ETO director James Conway observes, it can't hurt their box-office that the English queen famously beheaded with a sword is currently getting so much attention.