The diary of Emma D May: The morning after the march before

Sunday 12.01am: Can't stay out all night despite being at excellent break-beat party in Camberwell, because is v important day in the dopehead's diary tomorrow - the decriminalise-cannabis demo in Hyde Park. Dylan has been on special mid-week trip to Amsterdam to get supplies in (nothing but skunk, darling, for the biggest date of the cannabinoid's year) and returned with some beautiful, powerful gear - all crystally and sweetsmelling. Keep getting packet out and admiring it, but mustn't have it tonight, must save it all for tomorrow. Don't want to be seen out with a lump of low-grade hash. It's like Oscar night: you've got to be seen with the best designer dope. I've my reputation to think of.

A game gone to blazers and Pot Noodles

SO you think rugby union is in a mess. If the blazers from the Rugby Football Union and the assorted millionaire owners of the leading clubs have found themselves in a bit of pickle over - pardon the mixed culinary metaphor - that old chestnut of club v country, they should shoot a glance at a sport brought to the verge of international anarchy by a menu of Pot Noodles and Penguin bars.

Basketball: England team in open revolt

ENGLAND'S players ripped the lid off the team's impoverished international programme ahead of tonight's crucial European Championship game against Israel in Manchester, by revealing they were fed on Pot Noodles and chocolate biscuits before Wednesday's 60-55 win in Belarus.

Cafe Society: A cordial welcome

A Victorian cordial made from the English hedgerows may not be the first thing you'd think of drinking with your bowl of noodles but, as Nikki Spencer found out, elderflower is proving so popular in trendy new Japanese canteens like Wagamama in Soho that manufacturers are now exporting it all the way to Japan

Cafe Society: Noodles bar none

Fast food never got this good: Hamine has done nothing to coddle the punter, but a bowl of their late-night noodles will set your soul to rights

How I found out that money laundering does not pay

MY ROUGH GUIDE THAILAND

Food

Noodles: Li Enhai, a chef from Peking, is claiming to be the world's best noodle-stretcher after he stretched one kilogram of dough into 65,536 noodles that would stretch over 63 miles if joined end-to-end.

At home, Christmas trees: The easy way to Yuletide greens

By 25 December, five-and-a-quarter-million real Christmas trees will have changed hands for an average of around pounds l5 apiece. Five-and- a-quarter-million households will have struggled to stand the thing upright wedged in a bucket with house bricks or fiddled with those infuriating screws on stands which are alleged to be the final solution to leaning- `tree syndrome. Rosalind Russell looks at the alternatives to pine needles on the carpet.

Advertising Reviews: Man, his best friend and their SuperNoodles

Men behave very badly indeed in the new campaign for Batchelors SuperNoodles - playing with their food, feeding dog-licked noodles to their girlfriends and licking plates clean instead of washing them up.

Sayonara, spaghetti

Food Stuff

Chill out

Food: Pasta salads can be very cool

Variety is the spice of rice

PART 3: RICES OF THE WORLD: In the final part of our series, Michael Bateman introduces the less familiar facets of rice. From crispy crackers and moreish noodles, to tangy vinegars and wines, rice is the basis of a multitude of foodstuffs which we explore via recipes from Clare Ferguson's inspirational book

Youth advertising? Just cool it

Advertisers have always found it difficult to target 16- to 24- year-olds - but where Levi's has led, others are now following. Meg Carter reports

On a mission to make noodles the next pizza

Nobody could accuse Alan Yau of not thinking big. He started off helping his father run two Chinese restaurants in Peterborough but left because he felt the shortage of properly skilled labour limited the scope for expansion. Now, after a dalliance with taking on a McDonald's franchise in Hong Kong, he is proprietor of two noodle restaurants with dreams of creating an international presence.
Career Services

Day In a Page

Independent Travel
Burgundy, the River Rhone & Provence – Five-star MS Swiss Corona 7 nights from £999pp
Lake Como St Moritz & the Bernina Express 7 nights from £809pp
Vietnam
Lake Maggiore, Orta & the Matterhorn 7 nights from £939pp
South Africa
Spain
Prices correct as of 19 December 2014
Aren’t you glad you didn’t say that? The worst wince-and-look-away quotes of the year

Aren’t you glad you didn’t say that?

The worst wince-and-look-away quotes of the year
Hollande's vanity project is on a high-speed track to the middle of nowhere

Vanity project on a high-speed track to nowhere

France’s TGV network has become mired in controversy
Sports Quiz of the Year

Sports Quiz of the Year

So, how closely were you paying attention during 2014?
Alexander Armstrong on insulting Mary Berry, his love of 'Bargain Hunt', and life as a llama farmer

Alexander Armstrong on insulting Mary Berry and his love of 'Bargain Hunt'

From Armstrong and Miller to Pointless
Sanchez helps Gunners hold on after Giroud's moment of madness

Sanchez helps Gunners hold on

Olivier Giroud's moment of madness nearly costs them
A Christmas without hope: Fears grow in Gaza that the conflict with Israel will soon reignite

Christmas without hope

Gaza fears grow that conflict with Israel will soon reignite
After 150 years, you can finally visit the grisliest museum in the country

The 'Black Museum'

After 150 years, you can finally visit Britain's grisliest museum
No ho-ho-hos with Nick Frost's badass Santa

No ho-ho-hos with Nick Frost's badass Santa

Doctor Who Christmas Special TV review
Chilly Christmas: Swimmers take festive dip for charity

Chilly Christmas

Swimmers dive into freezing British waters for charity
Veterans' hostel 'overwhelmed by kindness' for festive dinner

Homeless Veterans appeal

In 2010, Sgt Gary Jamieson stepped on an IED in Afghanistan and lost his legs and an arm. He reveals what, and who, helped him to make a remarkable recovery
Isis in Iraq: Yazidi girls killing themselves to escape rape and imprisonment by militants

'Jilan killed herself in the bathroom. She cut her wrists and hanged herself'

Yazidi girls killing themselves to escape rape and imprisonment
Ed Balls interview: 'If I think about the deficit when I'm playing the piano, it all goes wrong'

Ed Balls interview

'If I think about the deficit when I'm playing the piano, it all goes wrong'
He's behind you, dude!

US stars in UK panto

From David Hasselhoff to Jerry Hall
Grace Dent's Christmas Quiz: What are you – a festive curmudgeon or top of the tree?

Grace Dent's Christmas Quiz

What are you – a festive curmudgeon or top of the tree?
Nasa planning to build cloud cities in airships above Venus

Nasa planning to build cloud cities in airships above Venus

Planet’s surface is inhospitable to humans but 30 miles above it is almost perfect