Arts and Entertainment Sam Bailey sings

Who will be leaving the competition tomorrow?

Who's in and who's out at `lunch of the century'

THE HYPE, inevitably, has been overwhelming. We are told it is one of the most spectacular, glittering and select social occasions of all time. The great and the good of Britain will be sitting down today to celebrate the millennium and each other.

Pick of the Day: Satellite

IN NETWORK (10pm FilmFour), a satire about the corrosive effect of television, Peter Finch gives a coruscating performance - which won the first ever posthumous Oscar - as a washed-up American newscaster. When he is fired, his reaction is to go on live television and threaten to shoot himself. Of course, he is an instant ratings sensation and is hailed as a new Messiah. (Interestingly, Henry Fonda, the first choice for the lead, rejected it as "too hysterical.") In light of the gross-out direction American television has taken since this was made in 1976, Sidney Lumet's devastatingly powerful film (scripted by Paddy Chayefsky) could be seen as highly prescient.

Black and white and proud of it

Social ostracism, apartheid, even lynching hasn't stopped sexual attraction across races

Rock & Pop: Hip-hopped on classics

Melky Sedeck Subterania, London Rufus Wainwright Embassy, London

CAPTAIN MOONLIGHT: Tourism flagging? Play hunt the car-park

GREETINGS! Here we are again, happy as can be, all devolved and dusted! But, wait: is this a shadow falling across the rump that is England? Yes, sadly, it seems, tourism is in trouble. Visits down, spending down, attractions not attracting, all to do with the strong pound and the bad weather. But never fear: The Captain Can Help. Here follow my favourite five ideas for new attractions that will also underline our English identity at this vital time: 1) Bluelakeside. This will be an entirely new concept in theme parks: yes, the theme is shops, 550 of them, all together, and set in beautifully landscaped grounds with those wood chippings on all the flower beds. 2) Car Park. Use all your skill and guile to find one of the few spaces remaining and evade payment in our specially constructed 2,399 space Car Park, set in beautifully landscaped grounds with those wood chippings on all the flowerbeds. 3) Bloomsbury. Tweeds compulsory, a bit of a libido an advantage. Try our To The Lighthouse dark ride - if you dare! 4) Bomber Command. Explore one of our gifts to the world at this former American air base set in beautifully landscaped grounds, etc. Children will particularly enjoy the "hands-on experience" feature where they get the chance to crush their own tinpot dictator into submission with balsa wood stealth bombers. 5) Commons. Entry limited, normally, to every five years, and requires incredible nerve. Curiously beguiling mixture of waxworks, community care, and olde tyme music hall. (Sister attraction, Lords, currently being revamped for new season.) Next!

Concert: Of human Bondage, from Dr No to Goldfinger

JOHN BARRY/ENGLISH CHAMBER ORCHESTRA BOND AND BEYOND SYMPHONY HALL BIRMINGHAM

THE CRITICS: TELEVISION: We call it Sofa Sunday in our house

A n earnest old Dubliner of my acquaintance, who has lived in London for more than 20 years, has never owned or rented a television set. "Why would I want to," he asks in genuine puzzlement, "when there is still so much to read?" He has just finished Anna Karenina, which reminds me of someone else I know, who was deeply hurt recently when her husband of 15 years left her for a woman with whom he had had a passionate love affair in the mid-1970s. "He thinks he's behaving like someone in a Tolstoy novel," she said, bitterly. "But I've told him there's a man doing exactly the same thing in Emmerdale."

Sport: Why devolution does not suit British sport

A FEW days ago even people who don't give tennis a second thought unless the fuzz ball is flying around at Wimbledon were held enthralled by the stirring effort put in by Tim Henman and Greg Rusedski when representing Great Britain against the United States in the Davis Cup.

Arts: Pop: Soul man finds perfect pitch

DAVID MCALMONT FLEECE AND FIRKIN BRISTOL

Rugby Union: Henley profit from a semi-detached view

David Llewellyn finds successful clubs need not embrace full professionalism

Football: No flaws in Rushden's diamonds

FA Cup: Brian Talbot will tackle Leeds with a squad of full-time players roared on by a capacity crowd at Nene Park

Pop: That's no way to treat a diva

BJoRK LONDON PALLADIUM

First Night: Video queen who can play, rewind and go forward fast

Bjork: London Palladium

London Film Festival: Little Voice

Little Voice (dir Mark Herman, starring Jane Horrocks and Michael Caine)

Arts: To Shirley, with love

The dresses are gone, the voice is deeper - but the solo David McAlmont is still in search of his feminine side.
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Day In a Page

Burgundy, the River Rhone & Provence – MS Swiss Corona - seven nights from £999pp
Lake Maggiore, Orta and the Matterhorn – seven nights from £899pp
Sicily – seven nights from £939pp
Pompeii, Capri and the Bay of Naples - seven nights from £799pp
Istanbul Ephesus & Troy – six nights from £859pp
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Wife of President Robert Mugabe appears to have her sights set on succeeding her husband
The model of a gadget launch: Cultivate an atmosphere of mystery and excitement to sell stuff people didn't realise they needed

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Cultivate an atmosphere of mystery and excitement to sell stuff people didn't realise they needed
Alice Roberts: She's done pretty well, for a boffin without a beard

She's done pretty well, for a boffin without a beard

Alice Roberts talks about her new book on evolution - and why her early TV work drew flak from (mostly male) colleagues
Get well soon, Joan Rivers - an inspiration, whether she likes it or not

Get well soon, Joan Rivers

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A fresh take on an old foe

Doctor Who Into the Dalek more than compensated for last week's nonsensical offering
Fashion walks away from the celebrity runway show

Fashion walks away from the celebrity runway show

As the collections start, fashion editor Alexander Fury finds video and the internet are proving more attractive
Meet the stars of TV's Wolf Hall... and it's not the cast of the Tudor trilogy

Meet the stars of TV's Wolf Hall...

... and it's not the cast of the Tudor trilogy
Weekend at the Asylum: Europe's biggest steampunk convention heads to Lincoln

Europe's biggest steampunk convention

Jake Wallis Simons discovers how Victorian ray guns and the martial art of biscuit dunking are precisely what the 21st century needs
Don't swallow the tripe – a user's guide to weasel words

Don't swallow the tripe – a user's guide to weasel words

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Daddy, who was Richard Attenborough?

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Kacey Musgraves: Nashville's hottest new star

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Soldier-poet Brian Turner on his new memoir

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