Arts and Entertainment

Stand up if you're in a mid-life crisis

How much do you know about Camille?

Take cover. The American feminist the world loves to hate has a new book out. Here's your chance to get to grips with the vital subject of la Paglia the ego

Altman: ready to weary


CAPTAIN MOONLIGHT:The Captain's catch-up Service

WELCOME to the Captain's weekly gambol around what passes for news on this planet ... Supermarket staff in Hove laughed when a man tried to stage a hold-up with a Jif lemon. "Hand over the money or I'll squeeze," he said before fleeing ... "Sophia has six different mops - and all of them do different things," a friend of Sophia Loren's has confided ... Australians are being asked to post squashed fleas from their pets to a pharmaceutical company, which will give 50p an insect to the Animal Protection S ocietyfor a flea awareness week ... A machine invented in Manchester to detect truffles was pitted against Pascale the pig near Cahors. Pascale won by 3-2 ... Britain's most wanted grannies, Joan Payne, 74, and Winifred Bristow, 76, inveterate dodgers ofho tel and garage bills, resurfaced in Kent ... A holidaymaker told Granada's This Morning programme how she had spent an entire flight trapped to the loo by suction after she flushed it before standing up ... William Aldridge, 51, was given a one-year conditio nal discharge after admitting throwing his woolly hat at police during demonstrations against calf shipment in Shoreham ... Prisoners in Sao Paulo held three guards hostage until the governor agreed to dress up in a pink tutu ... The Polish Bald

Home truths are best Sellers

Home movies made by the late Peter Sellers, including one of him doing a spoof conjuring trick with Princess Margaret, were shown for the first time yesterday, revealing an obsessive side to the comedian, writes David Lister.

You can't keep a good celebrity down

Faye Dunaway (right) was sacked from Sunset Boulevard -then the offers of work began to flood in. So who needs good publicity? By Mark Lawson Publicity agents have always consoled clients taking a battering in the press with the ancient optimistic aphorism of their trade: "Don't read it, measure it." They believe that notoriety is as marketable a kind of fame as any other; that even bad publicity is beneficial in focusing attention on a performer.

Obituaries: Rossano Brazzi

Rossano Brazzi, actor, director: born Bologna 18 September 1916; married Lydia Bertolini (died 1981), 1984 Isle Fischer; died Rome 24 December 1994.

New-look Dior fails to suit Nineties woman

CHRISTIAN DIOR showed its spring-summer 1995 collection yesterday, on the opening day of the Paris ready-to-wear shows.

The latin lover: For thousands of post-war cinema- goers Marcello Mastroianni has been the quintessential European male. At 70, the charm still works. And his role as the great seducer turns out to have been more than just acting

HE LIT the last cigarette in the packet and ordered another cafe noir in the small garden of an hotel in St-Germain-des-Pres. At 70, the pleasures of a lifetime are not to be denied.

Obituary: Christian-Jaque

Christian Maudet (Christian-Jaque), film director, producer, scenarist, art director: born Paris 4 September 1904; five times married; died Paris 8 July 1994.

Fashion Update: The fur flies

As fur makes a comeback for next winter, celebrities continue to take public stands on the issue. Most are fashionably correct, coming out against the skin trade. Their ranks include the supermodels Naomi Campbell, Christy Turlington et al, plus Kim Basinger and Brigitte Bardot.

Captain Moonlight: Real news starts here

RIGHT. Time for the Captain's Catch-Up Service, my exclusive guide to the week's other news . . . A gunman who attempted to rob a Hare Krishna temple's jewellery store in Los Angeles was set on by three members of the peace-loving sect, who broke his jaw. A police spokesman said: 'They're nice people, but don't get those Hare Krishnas mad' . . . A baby hedgehog dropped from the sky by a passing magpie on to a barbecue at Holsworthy, Devon, escaped with only a burnt nose . . . Slimmers should not lick stamps, the Shropshire Women's Institute has warned, because the gum contains 5.9 calories . . . Estate agent Jeremy Nicholls was rushed to hospital after being bitten by a caterpillar. Expert David Carter fears the insect was a brown-tail moth larva. 'They are very dangerous if they get anywhere near the eyes' he said . . . And finally, Sophia Loren, a caring mother, has installed a pounds 15,000 fish tank in her sons' Californian home so that they can enjoy their own fresh lobster . . .

Obituary: George Peppard

George Peppard, actor, director, producer: born Detroit 1 October 1928; six times married (two sons, one daughter); died Los Angeles 8 May 1994.

FILM / Rushes

A month ago, soothsayers were predicting that The Flintstones, Steven Spielberg's live-action rendering of the cult cartoon series, would do Jurassic Park box-office this summer (the film opens in the UK on 22 July). That was before the previews. Those stumbling from early screenings haven't been gasping over the state-of-the-art FX or laughing at the Stone-Age gags supplied by a record 32 writers. Older patrons especially have been irritated by the film's pandering to the kiddie crowd: as one anonymous executive puts it, 'I think you could sum this picture up in two words - young and stupid.' This is bad news for Universal, Spielberg's co-producers. Given The Flintstones' relative lack of star power (John Goodman's last four films have flopped to the tune of some dollars 200m), Universal were banking on Baby Boomers turning out in droves. With word of mouth rapidly turning from Yabba-dabba-do to Yabba-dabba-don't, they may well be tempted to stay at home instead and watch the Cartoon Network's 84-hour marathon transmission of every Flintstones episode ever made.

The benefits of being burgled

FOR A moment this week it looked as if my next television development to hit the screen might be Root Into San Francisco, and not, as had seemed likely, El Independo, Major Ron's Kama Britain ('Ciao] Major Ron here] Rock around the clock]'), or even Root Down Under.
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Day In a Page

Burgundy, the River Rhone & Provence – MS Swiss Corona - seven nights from £999pp
Lake Maggiore, Orta and the Matterhorn – seven nights from £899pp
Sicily – seven nights from £939pp
Pompeii, Capri and the Bay of Naples - seven nights from £799pp
Istanbul Ephesus & Troy – six nights from £859pp
Mary Rose – two nights from £319pp
Middle East crisis: We know all too much about the cruelty of Isis – but all too little about who they are

We know all too much about the cruelty of Isis – but all too little about who they are

Now Obama has seen the next US reporter to be threatened with beheading, will he blink, asks Robert Fisk
Neanderthals lived alongside humans for centuries, latest study shows

Final resting place of our Neanderthal neighbours revealed

Bones dated to 40,000 years ago show species may have died out in Belgium species co-existed
Scottish independence: The new Scots who hold fate of the UK in their hands

The new Scots who hold fate of the UK in their hands

Scotland’s immigrants are as passionate about the future of their adopted nation as anyone else
Britain's ugliest buildings: Which monstrosities should be nominated for the Dead Prize?

Blight club: Britain's ugliest buildings

Following the architect Cameron Sinclair's introduction of the Dead Prize, an award for ugly buildings, John Rentoul reflects on some of the biggest blots on the UK landscape
eBay's enduring appeal: Online auction site is still the UK's most popular e-commerce retailer

eBay's enduring appeal

The online auction site is still the UK's most popular e-commerce site
Culture Minister Ed Vaizey: ‘lack of ethnic minority and black faces on TV is weird’

'Lack of ethnic minority and black faces on TV is weird'

Culture Minister Ed Vaizey calls for immediate action to address the problem
Artist Olafur Eliasson's latest large-scale works are inspired by the paintings of JMW Turner

Magic circles: Artist Olafur Eliasson

Eliasson's works will go alongside a new exhibition of JMW Turner at Tate Britain. He tells Jay Merrick why the paintings of his hero are ripe for reinvention
Josephine Dickinson: 'A cochlear implant helped me to discover a new world of sound'

Josephine Dickinson: 'How I discovered a new world of sound'

After going deaf as a child, musician and poet Josephine Dickinson made do with a hearing aid for five decades. Then she had a cochlear implant - and everything changed
Greggs Google fail: Was the bakery's response to its logo mishap a stroke of marketing genius?

Greggs gives lesson in crisis management

After a mishap with their logo, high street staple Greggs went viral this week. But, as Simon Usborne discovers, their social media response was anything but half baked
Matthew McConaughey has been singing the praises of bumbags (shame he doesn't know how to wear one)

Matthew McConaughey sings the praises of bumbags

Shame he doesn't know how to wear one. Harriet Walker explains the dos and don'ts of fanny packs
7 best quadcopters and drones

Flying fun: 7 best quadcopters and drones

From state of the art devices with stabilised cameras to mini gadgets that can soar around the home, we take some flying objects for a spin
Joey Barton: ‘I’ve been guilty of getting a bit irate’

Joey Barton: ‘I’ve been guilty of getting a bit irate’

The midfielder returned to the Premier League after two years last weekend. The controversial character had much to discuss after his first game back
Andy Murray: I quit while I’m ahead too often

Andy Murray: I quit while I’m ahead too often

British No 1 knows his consistency as well as his fitness needs working on as he prepares for the US Open after a ‘very, very up and down’ year
Ferguson: In the heartlands of America, a descent into madness

A descent into madness in America's heartlands

David Usborne arrived in Ferguson, Missouri to be greeted by a scene more redolent of Gaza and Afghanistan
BBC’s filming of raid at Sir Cliff’s home ‘may be result of corruption’

BBC faces corruption allegation over its Sir Cliff police raid coverage

Reporter’s relationship with police under scrutiny as DG is summoned by MPs to explain extensive live broadcast of swoop on singer’s home