News

Another payday lender has been rapped for misleading advertising today.

Cooper Brown: Limits

Mulligan called me from Scotland saying that he’d dumped the Lesbian Sticker Lady somewhere near Oban and that she had “got the message”.

Sport on TV: Blades of glory from Beharry but Vanilla Ice is cool customer

So they kept the champagne on ice for a week. We will just have to wait a few more hours until the man they rather misleadingly described as a "cricket legend" struts his stuff in Dancing on Ice (ITV1, Sunday). The anticipation is agonising as we wait for Dominic Cork to pop out.

Last Night's TV: Kidnap and Ransom/ITV1<br /></b>Hugh's Big Fish Fight/Channel 4<br />Michel Roux's Service/BBC2

There's something going on at ITV. Where's The Bill? Where's Kerry Katona? And what's all this about Downton Abbey? Rather like Jordan when she became Katie Price, ITV seems to be getting classier. And cleverer (or cleverer-seeming). To wit: Kidnap and Ransom, a three-part drama that boasts a cast and crew of such pedigree, it's practically BBC. Script by Patrick Harbinson (previously: Law & Order, 24, ER), and cast of television greats: Trevor Eve, John Hannah (though we'll have to wait, regrettably, until next week to see him in action) and a recently resurgent Helen Baxendale. Not bad for a channel last seen airing TV programmes like All at Sea (not that they've entirely vanished; hang around too long after Kidnap and Ransom and you'll have the misfortune of catching Odd One In, the "comedy" game show featuring Peter Andre.) Still, Kidnap and Ransom has all the makings of a classy package, and, by and large, it lives up to its promise.

Holidaypedia: I know what you did this summer ...

It's September at last &ndash; but what have we learned over the holidays? Here, Deborah Ross reveals all you need to know about the great British break. It may make you glad to be back at work

Mark Steel: Not all their careers will end in failure

It looks like the next stage of the New Labour project is for the leaders to become proper celebrities. Mandelson's doing well so far, with his advert for The Times being impressively putrid, in which he publicises the serialisation of his book by sitting in a camp Gothic pose purring "I am the Prince of Darkness". But it fails in one respect, that the reason he's called the Prince of Darkness isn't because he played Dracula in a film or always wore a cloak, it's because he really is the Prince of bloody Darkness. It's like the difference between one of the Chuckle Brothers doing an advert where he says: "I'm a nutcase I am", and one in which a similar line was said by Raoul Moat.

Last Night's TV: Kerry and Me, Channel 4<br />Gareth Malone Goes to Glyndebourne, BBC2<br />Accidentally on Purpose, E4

Kerry Katona is a curious phenomenon. She is very famous indeed, in the sense that she appears in certain sectors of the press almost daily, but is also wholly mystifying in her appeal. She is ubiquitous, though it's not clear why. Just as opaque is why Channel 4 has decided to dedicate an hour's broadcasting schedule to her. The narrator offers a semi-justification that the point is to "see what it's like to be a celebrity once no one wants you", though really it's hard to spot any purpose beyond conventional slebrity voyeurism.

The impoverished professionals: New victims of the crunch

Anybody who's anybody has a financial hard-luck story these days. John Walsh examines the new poverty. Case histories: Holly Williams

Terence Blacker: The best of British for the Olympics

Every country which has hosted the Olympics has used it for image purposes. China presented itself as powerful and organised. Australia projected a sunny yet cheerfully competitive nature. The problem so far with the London Olympics has been to decide what exactly our national brand of Britain is.

Amy Jenkins: They don't make films for people like me

Quentin Tarantino's new film, Inglourious Basterds, is out today. By all accounts it's awful – not just awful, actually, but tedious, gratuitously violent, over-long and the plot, they say, is downright daft. It features several scalpings and a scene where a swastika is carved into someone's forehead. One critic has described it as "a colossal armour-plated turkey from hell".

Charlotte Church tipped to replace Kerry Katona at Iceland

Charlotte Church is being hotly tipped by bookies today to replace Kerry Katona as the face of Iceland.

Max Clifford tells Kerry Katona to 'get a grip'

Kerry Katona's former publicist Max Clifford today urged her to "get a grip", after she was axed as the face of supermarket chain Iceland amid allegations that she took cocaine.

Why Poetry Matters, BBC2<br>Playing the Part, BBC1

Griff has little to teach us about poetry, while Denise Welch learns the hard way back at school

Chicken tikka lasagne: Fusion or bizarre?

Brazilian sushi? Italian black pudding? Melding cuisines is tricky &ndash; and the results aren't always in the best possible taste, says John Walsh

Van Day discovers that getting the public to hate you pays dividends

You can't be obnoxious enough when it comes to relaunching that stalled Eighties pop career
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Independent Travel
Pompeii, Capri & the Bay of Naples
Seven Cities of Italy
Burgundy, the River Rhone & Provence
Prague, Budapest and Vienna
Lake Garda
3.	Provence 6 nights B&B by train from £599pp
Prices correct as of 20 February 2015
Syrian conflict is the world's first 'climate change war', say scientists, but it won't be the last one

Climate change key in Syrian conflict

And it will trigger more war in future
How I outwitted the Gestapo

How I outwitted the Gestapo

My life as a Jew in wartime Berlin
The nation's favourite animal revealed

The nation's favourite animal revealed

Women like cuddly creatures whilst men like creepy-crawlies
Is this the way to get young people to vote?

Getting young people to vote

From #VOTESELFISH to Bite the Ballot
Poldark star Heida Reed: 'I don't think a single bodice gets ripped'

Poldark star Heida Reed

'I don't think a single bodice gets ripped'
The difference between America and Israel? There isn’t one

The difference between America and Israel? There isn’t one

Netanyahu knows he can get away with anything in America, says Robert Fisk
Families clubbing together to build their own affordable accommodation

Do It Yourself approach to securing a new house

Community land trusts marking a new trend for taking the initiative away from developers
Head of WWF UK: We didn’t send Cameron to the Arctic to see green ideas freeze

David Nussbaum: We didn’t send Cameron to the Arctic to see green ideas freeze

The head of WWF UK remains sanguine despite the Government’s failure to live up to its pledges on the environment
Author Kazuo Ishiguro on being inspired by shoot-outs and samurai

Author Kazuo Ishiguro on being inspired by shoot-outs and samurai

Set in a mythologised 5th-century Britain, ‘The Buried Giant’ is a strange beast
With money, corruption and drugs, this monk fears Buddhism in Thailand is a ‘poisoned fruit’

Money, corruption and drugs

The monk who fears Buddhism in Thailand is a ‘poisoned fruit’
America's first slavery museum established at Django Unchained plantation - 150 years after slavery outlawed

150 years after it was outlawed...

... America's first slavery museum is established in Louisiana
Kelly Clarkson: How I snubbed Simon Cowell and become a Grammy-winning superstar

Kelly Clarkson: How I snubbed Simon Cowell and become a Grammy-winning superstar

The first 'American Idol' winner on how she manages to remain her own woman – Jane Austen fascination and all
Tony Oursler on exploring our uneasy relationship with technology with his new show

You won't believe your eyes

Tony Oursler's new show explores our uneasy relationship with technology. He's one of a growing number of artists with that preoccupation
Ian Herbert: Peter Moores must go. He should never have been brought back to fail again

Moores must go. He should never have been brought back to fail again

The England coach leaves players to find solutions - which makes you wonder where he adds value, says Ian Herbert
War with Isis: Fears that the looming battle for Mosul will unleash 'a million refugees'

The battle for Mosul will unleash 'a million refugees'

Aid agencies prepare for vast exodus following planned Iraqi offensive against the Isis-held city, reports Patrick Cockburn