ARTS / Overheard

My first public appearance in years and it's all straight lines.

Woody Allen, on his way out of a New York press conference

I can't understand why more people don't realise how smart it is.

Jack Nicholson, on maintaining

separate addresses a la Allen, Elle

I've been broody since I was 14.

Patsy Kensit, 24, actress and

expectant mother, Hello]

Anybody can pour paint, but can you do it with range, variety, continuity and touch?

William S Rubin, of the Museum of Modern Art in New York,

explaining why a Jackson Pollock is hard to fake, Guardian

You just make it the best you can, or don't make it at all. I don't give a damn about demographics and all that crap.

Clint Eastwood, Premiere

I lost my virginity at Edinburgh. The next day I was feeling guilty about being late so I bought doughnuts for everyone.

Stewart Lee, comedian, on his first Festival, Guardian

He's a public schoolboy like me, but now, being left-wing and disliking that side of himself, he tends to write right-wing public schoolboys . . . I hope I changed my character from the stereotype he wrote.

Jeremy Irons on David Hare and their film Damage, Sunday Times