Grow Up, By Keith Allen

I saw Keith Allen perform at The Comedy Store in 1979. His act wasn't the funniest, but was the least predictable. Well, it was fairly predictable, comprising swearing and pouring drinks over people's heads. But the point is, when he was on stage, you had to watch him. I had a similar response to his autobiography – it isn't funny or well-written, yet you carry on reading just to see what he got up to next.

The young Allen nicked everything not nailed down. He lived with a lion. He has a compulsion to strip in public. He's drunk his own piss on stage, built a career as a character actor, and been friends with everyone from Damien Hirst to Stephen Fry.

His monstrous ego, aggression and inability to do anything he doesn't want to must make him difficult to be around. Yet we know he's "a good person". He says so himself. Three times. Despite his oft-proclaimed contempt for others' opinions, he really does just want to be loved.