Twilight Time by Simon Crump

If you're sensitive, look away right now

Bruce Glasscock ("they called me brittledick in the army"), the narrator of Twilight Time, is one of the most pottymouthed characters I have ever come across - and also one of the most entertaining.

Bruce Glasscock ("they called me brittledick in the army"), the narrator of Twilight Time, is one of the most pottymouthed characters I have ever come across - and also one of the most entertaining.

He is the caretaker for an English Trust house which is run by his wife Linda. She makes him take his pills, and he tries not to blurt out whatever is in his head at the time, with mixed success: "And how are you this morning, Bruce?" "Outstanding pair of tits." However, when a new volunteer, Richard, turns up, Bruce's resentment for the cocky young upstart begins to get the better of him, with ultimately tragic consequences.

Those of a sensitive disposition may not get on very well with Twilight Time: it's littered with dog piss, the f-word and Bruce's fruitless attempts to get an erection. However, the swearing is so amusing because it's the essence of Bruce's character: "Make mine a Pimms and put a fucking horse in it." There's also something remarkably honest about the gap between his thoughts and what he says out loud, revealing his otherwise hidden insecurities. He wants to stand up to people, but often ends up bullied into submission. This is why there's a lot more to the book than you might think; an undercurrent of despair and depression that (via plenty of shits and fucks) leads to an unexpected and thoroughly moving conclusion.