Edinburgh Fringe 2016: The 15 best jokes

Including such delights as: 'Spotted a Marmite van on the motorway. It was heading yeastbound'

With just a week to go until Edinburgh goes (relatively) quiet again for another year and the funniest jokes of 2016’s Fringe festival have been announced.

2,000 people voted on Dave's Funniest Joke of the Fringe, West Brompton's own Masai Graham coming out top with 27% of the votes for his organ donation-themed Dad joke.

In a close second comes Stuart Mitchell with 25% of the vote for a witticism about old folk homes, while Mark Watson came third with his marriage quip. Read the full list of 15 jokes below.

1. “My dad has suggested that I register for a donor card. He’s a man after my own heart.” Masai Graham

2. “Why is it old people say ‘there’s no place like home’, yet when you put them in one …” Stuart Mitchell

Masai Graham (PA)

3. “I’ve been happily married for four years – out of a total of 10.” Mark Watson

4. “Apparently one in three Britons are conceived in an IKEA bed which is mad because those places are really well lit.” Mark Smith

5. “I went to a pub quiz in Liverpool, had a few drinks so wasn’t much use. Just for a laugh I wrote The Beatles or Steven Gerrard for every answer … came second.” Will Duggan

6. “Brexit is a terrible name, sounds like cereal you eat when you are constipated.” Tiff Stevenson

7. “I often confuse Americans and Canadians. By using long words.” Gary Delaney

8. “Why is Henry’s wife covered in tooth marks? Because he’s Tudor.” Adele Cliff

9. “Don’t you hate it when people assume you’re rich because you sound posh and went to private school and have loads of money?” Annie McGrath

10. “Is it possible to mistake schizophrenia for telepathy, I hear you ask.” Jordan Brookes

11. “Hilary Clinton has shown that any woman can be president, as long as your husband did it first.” Michelle Wolf

12. “I spotted a Marmite van on the motorway. It was heading yeastbound.” Roger Swift

13. “Back in the day, Instagram just meant a really efficient drug dealer.” Arthur Smith

14. “I’ll tell you what’s unnatural in the eyes of God. Contact lenses.” Zoe Lyons

15. “Elton John hates ordering Chinese food. Soya seems to be the hardest word.” Phil Nicol

Steve North, general manager of Dave, said: "The Fringe is renowned for being the best place to spot new and emerging comedy talent, and although there are some returning contenders in our top 10 this year, there is a high volume of new talent which is very exciting to see.”

The Edinburgh Fringe wraps up proceedings in just under a week, concluding on the 19 August.