Days Like These

5 September 1940

GROUCHO MARX

writes to Arthur Sheekman:

"Last night I had dinner with Charlie Chaplin and he was in high humor - unusual for him. He told me, among other things, that he's not Jewish but wishes he were. He said he was part English, Scottish and Gypsy, but I think he isn't quite sure what he is. He's very happy about his movie [The Great Dictator]. He thinks it will be a big hit. He's very odd. In some ways he has no sense of humor at all and then again it's wonderful. He told me he hated the English, but that he hoped they'd win the war. At the finish of the meal, the most astonishing thing happened: he grabbed the check (for six, it came to around $30) and refused to let me have it. He has a reputation for stinginess but I have always found him generous - not only with his money but with his praise. He thinks I'm wonderful and said that he envied my glibness and wishes he could talk as swiftly on screen as I do."

5 September 1952

BARBARA SKELTON,

wife of the critic Cyril Connolly, records in her diary:

"This morning I go into Cyril's room with a cup of tea and see a fresh packet of biscuits lying beside the bed. A secret eater! I say, `You are like the greedy girl in the Stafford story who always kept a hoard of sweet food in her drawers.' `I shall be having a charcoal grill up here next,' he says, very pleased with himself. He has invented four categories of fart. The `dry goose', `wet goose', `chicken fart' and `phosgene'; we remark on how frequently we both fart and put it down to boredom. `Do you think other people fart as much as us?' I ask. C says no. Cyril is lying in the bath brooding on Caligula who liked to pile all his gold coins into a heap and paddle in them with his bare feet. We are on bad terms again. I hear him in his room murmuring at night, `A million, two million' or simply, `Just a million'."