FASHION / Pret-a-Porter: The movie

Robert Altman, director of The Player, the film that was a brilliant pastiche of the inner workings of Hollywood, has turned his attention to the fashion business. Pret-a-Porter is scheduled to start filming against the backdrop of the Paris shows in October, and everyone wants to be in it. The only part so far confirmed is Lauren Bacall, who will play a character based on the late Diana Vreeland. Who else plays whom in the ultimate fashion story? We did our own casting

THE CAST

Diana Vreeland ex-editor of American Vogue - Lauren Bacall

Suzy Menkes fashion editor International Herald Tribune - Liz Taylor

Karl Lagerfeld designer - Jack Nicholson

Calvin Klein designer and his - Richard Gere and wife Kelly his wife supermodel Cindy Crawford

Christian Lacroix designer - Bill Murray

Liz Tilberis editor-in-chief of US Harper's Bazaar - Julie Andrews

Anna Wintour editor-in-chief of US Vogue - Christy Turlington

Gianni Versace designer - Phil Collins

Jean-Paul Gaultier designer - Billy Idol

Ralph Lauren designer - Clint Eastwood

Gianfranco Ferre designer - Luciano Pavarotti

Emanuel Ungaro designer - Sacha Distel

Azzedine Alaia designer - Macaulay Culkin in a curly wig

John Galliano designer - Lenny Kravitz

Jasper Conran designer - Julian Clary

Katharine Hamnett designer - Sigourney Weaver

Vivienne Westwood designer - Deborah Harry

Romeo Gigli designer - Robert de Niro

Giorgio Armani designer - Terence Stamp

Yves Saint Laurent designer, boy and man - River Phoenix

Pierre Berge head of YSL - Sir Antony Hopkins

Claude Montana designer - Alan Rickman

Donna Karan designer - Barbra Streisand

Bruce Weber photographer - Bruce Willis

Liza Minelli actress and shopper - Demi Moore

David Bailey ageing photographer - Bob Hoskins

Vidal Sasson eternally youthful hairdresser - Cliff Richards

Bianca Jagger - Beth Garner

Hubert de Givenchy designer - Douglas Fairbanks Jnr

Audrey Hepburn actress and Givenchy's muse - Winona Ryder

Ivana Trump and Donatella Versace - Jane Fonda

Martin Margiela Belgian designer - David Suchet

Naomi Campbell supermodel - Ru Paul

Kirsten McMenemy weirdo-supermodel - Tilda Swinton

Steven Meisel photographer - George Hamilton

Linda Evangelista supermodel - Jodie Foster

Valentino designer - Marcello Mastroianni

Claudia Schiffer supermodel (Kim Basinger drops out) - Sherilyn Fenn

Nan Kempner socialite - Michael Jackson

Marc Jacobs designer - Keanu Reeves

Thierry Mugler designer - Jeff Stryker

Rei Kawakubo designer (a Japanese non-speaking role) - Meryl Streep

Jerry Hall model - Emma Thompson

Yohji Yamamoto designer - Gary Oldman

Catherine Deneuve, actress and YSL muse - Glenn Close

Paco Rabanne designer - Sean Connery

The ghost of Coco Chanel - Faye Dunaway

The Fendi sisters furriers - Brigitte Bardot, Glenda Jackson, Rula Lenska, Pamela Stevenson, Julie Christie (all withdraw at the F word)

Patapouf, Azzedine Alaia's dog - played by himself