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Jude Law has spoken of how the jokes that emerged after his notorious affair with his children’s nanny used to “freeze his blood” when he heard them.
The award-winning actor, who stars in new film Vox Lux with Natalie Portman, was interviewed by The Telegraph Sienna Miller , would leave him “absolutely crippled”.
He learnt of one particular joke that featured in the Sex and the City
In the movie, Samantha [Kim Cattrall] comments: “There ought to be a law against hiring a nanny who looks like that,” to which Carrie [Sarah Jessica Parker] replies: “Yeah, the Jude Law.”
Show all 20 1 /2020 directors who hate their own films 20 directors who hate their own films American History X – Tony Kaye There are few directors who have gone so actively out of their way to discourage people from watching their film as Tony Kaye. Unhappy with the way the studio, New Line, had re-cut American History X, the filmmaker wrote multiple open letters – published by the trade press – telling people to not watch the final version. He even had the film pulled from Toronto Film Festival. “I had tried to get my name taken off it, and replaced with various pseudonyms,” Kaye wrote in The Guardian, three years after the release. “One was ‘Humpty Dumpty’. Another was ‘Ralph Coates’, who played for Tottenham in the 1970s.” The Directors Guild of America would not allow Kaye to change his name, and he has bitterly lived with the accolade of directing the cult classic ever since.
20 directors who hate their own films Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen – Michael Bay The first Transformers was a decent-enough popcorn flick. Critics may not have been enamoured by the CGI blockbuster, but there’s no denying watching robots beating each other up is mindless entertainment of the highest order. Yet, Michael Bay managed to make a mess of that simple winning formula in the sequel, Revenge of the Fallen, something he later admitted. "When I look back at it, that was crap,” he said of the film in 2011. “The writers' strike was coming hard and fast. It was just terrible to do a movie where you've got to have a story in three weeks. I was prepping a movie for months where I only had 14 pages of some idea of what the movie was. It's a BS way to make a movie.”
20 directors who hate their own films The Snowman – Tomas Alfredson While Swedish director Tomas Alfredson received acclaim for the Oscar-nominated Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, his follow-up film, the mystery thriller The Snowman, was ripped apart by critics. “Our shoot time in Norway was way too short,” he explained following the film’s release. “We didn’t get the whole story with us and when we started cutting we discovered that a lot was missing.” Alfredson added that, despite The Snowman being in development for years, with Martin Scorsese once attached as director, around 10 to 15 per cent of the script was not filmed. “It’s like when you’re making a big jigsaw puzzle and a few pieces are missing so you don’t see the whole picture,” he added.
20 directors who hate their own films Avengers: Age of Ultron – Joss Whedon Joss Whedon changed cinema with The Avengers. The ensemble film brought a host of disparate superheroes together, and in the process made over $1.5 billion (£1.15 billion) at the box-office. Balancing all those characters was tough, and come the sequel, Age of Ultron, the director was worn down. Whedon apparently couldn’t muster the ability to watch the entire film after completion, saying: “I’m tied and I had a terrible time.” A year later, in 2016, the filmmaker clarified his comments. “I was so beaten down by the process. Some of that was conflicting with Marvel, which is inevitable. A lot of it was about my own work, and I was also exhausted.” Whedon added that he remains “proud” of the film, yet there are still things about the film that “frustrate” him hugely.
20 directors who hate their own films Annie Hall, Hannah And Her Sisters, Manhattan – Woody Allen Annie Hall is widely regarded as one of the greatest movies of all time. Hannah And Her Sisters won an Oscar for best screenplay. Manhattan is often heralded as a comedy masterpiece. Woody Allen, though, believes his other films are better. “For some reason [Annie Hall] is very likeable. I’ve made better films than that. Match Point is a better film, Purple Rose of Cairo is a better film, the French one – Midnight in Paris – is a better film, Vicky Cristina Barcelona is as good. I mean, I’ve made films that were as good, but for some reason that’s got some charismatic, inexplicable hold on people. That and Manhattan too. [On] Manhattan, I missed what I was going for. Same thing with Hannah and Her Sisters. I’m not saying it’s a terrible film or a bad – I’m not here to knock my films. But for me personally, I missed. It was too treacly at the end, too bailed-out.”
20 directors who hate their own films Highball – Noah Baumbach Noah Baumbach is now a beloved indie filmmaker (thanks to The Squid and the Whale, Frances Ha, and The Meyerowitz Stories). Yet he was not always an acclaimed director. Baumbach despised his second film, Highball, so much that his directing credit was changed to Ernie Fusco and his writer’s one to Jesse Carter. “It was just too ambitious,” he said of the film, which concerns a newly married couple who end up inviting too many people to their Brooklyn flat for a party. “We didn't have enough time, we didn't finish it, it didn't look good, it was just a whole ... mess. We couldn't get it done, and I had a falling out with the producer. He abandoned it, and I had no money to finish it, to go back and maybe get two more days or something. Then later, it was put out on DVD without my approval.”
20 directors who hate their own films Babylon AD – Mathieu Kassovitz Before Babylon AD – a futuristic sci-fi flick about a mercenary who has to escort a woman from Russia to America – reached cinemas in the UK, the director, Mathieu Kassovitz, was trying to distance himself from the Vin Diesel-led project. "The movie is supposed to teach us that the education of our children will mean the future of our planet,” he said. “All the action scenes had a goal: they were supposed to be driven by either a metaphysical point of view or experience for the characters... instead parts of the movie are like a bad episode of 24." Kassovitz later added the film was "pure violence and stupidity".
20 directors who hate their own films Catchfire – Dennis Hopper In 1992, Dennis Hopper joined the ranks of directors who released their film under the pseudonym Alan Smithee (famously used when filmmakers disown their own film). Originally called Catchfire, the Jodie Foster-starring thriller about a woman who enters witness protection was later retitled Backtrack, and 20 minutes were cut for the straight-to-VHS release. Hopper rarely spoke about the film; he wanted to distance himself as much as possible from the doomed project.
20 directors who hate their own films The Underneath – Steven Soderbergh “I think it’s a beautiful film to look at and I think the score is beautiful,” Steven Soderberg said of The Underneath, “but 15 seconds in I know we’re in trouble because of how f***ing long it takes to get through those opening credits. That’s just an indication of what’s wrong with this thing: it’s just totally sleepy.” The film, about a recovering gambling addict, was an unsurprising box-office flop. “I can’t say I’d recommend it to anyone,” Soderbergh added, “other than to look at in the context of someone’s career”.
20 directors who hate their own films Thor: The Dark World – Alan Taylor Alan Taylor – of Game of Thrones and Sopranos fame – seemed a perfect fit for Thor, the heroic God of Thunder who spoke in Shakespearean prose. When the sequel was released, many were disappointed with the film, which somehow wasted Christopher Eccleston, who played the villain. Taylor later criticised the project, saying: “The Marvel experience was particularly wrenching because I was sort of given absolute freedom while we were shooting, and then in post it turned into a different movie. So, that is something I hope never to repeat and don’t wish upon anybody else.”
Marvel
20 directors who hate their own films Fear and Desire – Stanley Kubrick Few filmmakers have spotless filmographies. Stanley Kubrick believed the blotch on his was Fear and Desire – the renowned-perfectionist’s cinematic debut. As his stature as a director grew, Kubrick was said to grow ever-more disgruntled with Fear and Desire, an anti-war film about four soldiers trapped behind enemy lines. Reports emerged in the Sixties that Kubrick had destroyed the original negative print, and was hoping to destroy all leftover prints. In 1964, Kubrick called the film “a serious effort, ineptly done”.
20 directors who hate their own films Batman and Robin – Joel Schumacher Almost everyone involved with Batman & Robin seems to hate the final product. George Clooney has apologised for his Bat-nippled version of the Caped Crusader, while director Joel Schumacher has said sorry multiple times. “Look, I apologise,” he said in 2017. “I want to apologise to every fan that was disappointed because I think I owe them that.” After the widely maligned film reached cinemas, Schumacher said he was treated like “scum”. “It was like I had murdered a baby,” he continued.
20 directors who hate their own films The Day the Clown Cried – Jerry Lewis Jerry Lewis’s The Day the Clown Cried has never been released. The director, who also starred as the leading character, locked the film – about a clown arrested in Nazi Germany for drunkenly defaming Hitler – in a private vault after completion. Lewis thought the film was so “bad, bad, bad” that he often refused to discuss the project, only commenting very occasionally. "I was ashamed of the work and I was grateful I had the power to contain it all and never let anyone see it. It could have been wonderful but I slipped up – I didn't quite get it,” he said in 2013.
AFP
20 directors who hate their own films Fantastic Four – Josh Trank Everything was looking good for Fantastic Four before filming began. Some of Hollywood’s most promising actors were playing the eponymous characters – Michael B Jordan, Miles Teller, Kate Mara and Jamie Bell – while Josh Trank, coming off the back of runaway success Chronicle, was hired to direct. During post-production, though, everything fell apart. Trank was forced by the studio, Fox, to do extensive reshoots (you can tell which scenes were reshot because Mara’s wig looks awful and Teller has varying lengths of stubble). The month before the film’s release, the director spoke out on Twitter. “A year ago I had a fantastic version of this,” he wrote. “And it would’ve received great reviews. You’ll probably never see it. That’s reality though.” The film bombed at the box office, with Trank’s tweet reportedly costing Fox between $5m and $10m (£3.8m and £7.6m).
20 directors who hate their own films Woman Wanted – Kiefer Sutherland During the Nineties, Kiefer Sutherland wanted to progress from acting to directing. Although his feature-film debut as director, 1997’s Truth or Consequences, was not exactly a critical success, he persevered, directing the 2000 flick Woman Wanted. Sutherland was so disappointed with the results, he released the film under the pseudonym Alan Smithee – becoming the last person to ever use the famed name. He has not directed a film since.
20 directors who hate their own films An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn – Alan Smithee/Arthur Hiller A film about the pseudonym Alan Smithee that ironically ended up being an Alan Smithee film. Arthur Hiller had no intention of disowning Burn Hollywood Burn, which aimed to lampoon the Hollywood system. The film centred on a director, named Alan Smithee (played by Eric Idle), who hands in a cut of a film, only for the studio to recut the entire thing. Life mirrored art as the studio behind Burn Hollywood Burn took the film away from Hiller, who ended up using the Smithee pseudonym on the release.
20 directors who hate their own films Dune – David Lynch Following the success of Oscar Best Picture winner The Elephant Man, David Lynch could have done almost anything. Despite having not read the book, Lynch agreed to adapt Dune, choosing the project over the third Star Wars, Return of the Jedi. Lynch soon started work on turning Frank Herbert’s epic novel into a screenplay, turning in over five drafts. Yet, despite the preparation time, the final results were less than satisfactory for the director. “I started selling out on Dune,” he said. “Looking back, it's no one's fault but my own. I probably shouldn't have done that picture, but I saw tons and tons of possibilities for things I loved, and this was the structure to do them in.”
20 directors who hate their own films Alien 3 – David Fincher David Fincher was just 28 years old when the producers of Alien decided to bring the upstart on board their second sequel. With just five weeks’ preparation time, an unfinished script, and no real clout behind his name, Fincher struggled with the film. “Oh, it was just awful,” he later said. “This is the worst thing that ever happened to me.” In 2009, promoting The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Fincher elaborated: “I had to work on it for two years, got fired off it three times and I had to fight for every single thing. No one hated it more than me; to this day, no one hates it more than me.”
20 directors who hate their own films Hellraiser: Bloodline – Kevin Yagher The fourth film in the horror series Hellraiser had a troubled production. Original director Kevin Yagher was ordered by the studio to reshoot scenes, which he refused to do. Joe Chappelle stepped in, leading to Yagher demanding the Alan Smithee pseudonym be used. The final film – which acted as both a prequel and a sequel to the other three films – was not screened for critics, and was dismissed by many fans.
20 directors who hate their own films Accidental Love – David O Russell David O Russell began working on Nailed in 2008. Envisioning the film as a romantic comedy with political undertones, the director cast Jessica Biel and Jake Gyllenhaal in leading roles, and was awarded $26 million (£20 million) to make it. And still, somehow, the entire filming process was a mess. The set was shutdown a reported 14 times after cast and crew complained about not being paid. Eventually, after key scenes were not filmed during production, the entire thing was abandoned. After Russell started drawing Oscars attention for The Fighter and American Hustle, though, the studio wanted to get Nailed out in cinemas. Work continued on the film without Russell’s involvement. The film was then retitled Accidental Love and released in cinemas, with the director’s name changed to Stephen Greene. Critics hated the results.
“Little things like that used to freeze my blood,” Law said. “I would be left absolutely crippled. But nowadays it just bounces off. I'm like, ‘Is that all you've got?’ I mean, I'm doing the thing I love, I have a happy home life, I'm very proud of my children, and I'm healthy, thank goodness. So if people are still throwing paper darts at me... I mean, Christ! If that's what rocks their boat, let ‘em do it.”
He added that, had he been given the opportunity to tell his younger self a piece of advice, it would have been to “keep a large part of yourself private”.
“Especially as an actor. I still don't feel like people really know me,” he said. “And, you know, I don't want them to. That's something I say to my kids all the time. It's why I don't have Twitter, or an Instagram, or anything. Because I value that little bit that I've got left. I always say to my kids there are two of me. There's Jude who lives at home, then there's this other character who has accumulated all this stuff over the years.”
As well as the musical drama Vox Lux, Law recently starred in the Fantastic Beasts film The Crimes of Grindewald.
He is currently shooting scenes for the forthcoming series The New Pope – a continuation of the 2016 limited series The Young Pope – which was created and directed by Paolo Sorrentino for Sky Atlantic and HBO.
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