Get our free weekly email for all the latest cinematic news from our film critic Clarisse Loughrey Get our The Life Cinematic email for free
Seth Rogen has used his self-isolation time to the fullest: by getting high and watching Cats for the first time.
The Pineapple Express actor live-tweeted his first viewing of the maligned musical, which is experiencing a second wind as it becomes available for download.
“I’m pretty stoned and watching Cats ,” Rogen tweeted . “I’ve never seen the Broadway show. It is truly trippy. Am I supposed to know what a Jellicle is? They’ve said it 200,000 times but I don’t know what’s happening haha.”
Over the course of his live-tweeting, Rogen commented on the film’s stars (“Judi Dench looks the most cuddly”) and its infamously disastrous CGI (“Ian McKellen just straight up has normal fingers”).
He also attempted to reckon with the film’s odd plotting. It sees an ensemble of cats describing themselves through song and why they feel worthy of ascending to something called “the Heaviside Layer”.
“‘Let’s make 35 nonsense songs introducing cats!’ – The makers of Cats ”, Rogen tweeted . Later he wrote : “‘The Theater Cat!’ Let’s intro another f***ing cat!!!”
Other times he expressed clear bafflement.
“WHAT IS JELLICLE?!,!?” he wrote , 15 minutes in. Later, Rogen asked : “How many times they say the word ‘cat’ in a this?” [sic]
Rogen also referenced Cats star Idris Elba , who this week revealed that he had tested positive for coronavirus .
“Out of respect, I’ll leave Idris out of all this.”
Despite his early enthusiasm, Rogen appeared to not finish the movie, quitting his live-tweet session less than an hour in. Instead, he explained, he was going to watch an episode of the reality series 90 Day Fiance , in which American women get engaged to foreign nationals.
Watch Apple TV+ free for 7 days New subscribers only. £8.99/mo. after free trial. Plan auto-renews until cancelled
Try for free Watch Apple TV+ free for 7 days New subscribers only. £8.99/mo. after free trial. Plan auto-renews until cancelled
Try for free He added , with reference to the ongoing crisis: “Stay clean as f***”.
The 17 worst sex scenes in filmShow all 17 1 /17The 17 worst sex scenes in film The 17 worst sex scenes in film Gigli Name a more iconic movie line than "It's turkey time! Gobble, gobble” – we’ll wait. They are the bonkers words uttered by Jennifer Lopez’s Gigli character, a lesbian assassin who apparently finds herself unable to resist the masculine allure of… wait for it… Ben Affleck. It’s an invitation for oral sex and, well, you’ll have to watch the film to find out if he accepts. EH.
Sony Pictures
The 17 worst sex scenes in film Howard the Duck Cross-species coitus is, admittedly, a tricky concept to make sexy – something the traumatised viewers of Howard the Duck discovered when Lea Thompson canoodled with her “so incredibly soft and cuddly” feathered friend. EH.
Universal
The 17 worst sex scenes in film Killing Me Softly There are few things less titillating than Heather Graham and Joseph Fiennes getting tangled in a selection of silk ropes. All made more excruciating by Graham’s whispered voiceover: “I gave up all control, I loved it.” Fifty Shades of Grey, eat your heart out. EH.
Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer
The 17 worst sex scenes in film Bad Teacher It’s tough to name the thing that’s most wrong with the dry humping scene in Bad Teacher. Is it the grunting? The chafing of denim? Justin Timberlake’s gyrating hips? Justin Timberlake’s face on climax? Justin Timberlake’s wet jeans? Please just make it stop. If not for Cameron Diaz then for all of us. EH.
Columbia Pictures
The 17 worst sex scenes in film Maps to the Stars Julianne Moore literally asks Robert Pattinson: “Do you want to f*** my holes?” And, dear reader, it turns out that he does want to. He wants to very much. So they have very stressful-looking sex in a car on the side of a the road. And then somehow it gets even worse – she disembarks from the vehicle and wipes his semen off her leg with a scarf. EH.
Focus Features
The 17 worst sex scenes in film Body of Evidence One of the most infamous sex scenes of all time is Madonna and Willem Dafoe’s experimentation with hot wax in Body of Evidence. “My way,” murmurs the Queen of Pop, straddling Dafoe and pouring molten wax and champagne over his body, before proceeding to lick it up. It’s not a Mary Berry recipe, we can tell you that much. EH.
Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer
The 17 worst sex scenes in film Showgirls A lot of things aren’t really OK about Showgirls, but the filmmakers really outdid themselves with Elizabeth Berkley and Kyle MacLachlan’s special splish-splash in the pool. The combination of thrashing, bubbling water, fountain fondling and ecstatic yelping is the stuff of nightmares. EH.
Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer
The 17 worst sex scenes in film Avatar A couple of towering blue humanoids having sex doesn’t exactly scream erotica – and James Cameron’s attempts to mix it up further by having a strange dreadlock-interlocking display certainly didn’t help. EH.
20th Century Fox
The 17 worst sex scenes in film The Room The Room is widely known as one of the worst films ever made – and its sex scene between Tommy Wiseau and Juliette Danielle is a big contributing factor. Why does he appear to be thrusting into her belly button? Why? EH.
Wiseau-Films
The 17 worst sex scenes in film Fifty Shades of Grey There are lots of shades of bad in the sex scenes of this S&M franchise. But the worst has to be when Christian ties her up, blindfolds her with his shirt and then runs down an ice cube all over her body. What misguided women’s magazine did he get this advice from? AL.
Universal Studios
The 17 worst sex scenes in film Basic Instinct 2 This much-maligned sequel begins with Stan Collymore and Sharon Stone speeding at 100mph through Canary Wharf. The two moan and giggle as she fumbles around for his gearstick, that is until they crash the car and he dies. Not quite the happy ending he was hoping for. AL.
Sony Pictures
The 17 worst sex scenes in film Wet Hot American Summer Bradley Cooper and Michael Ian Black's sex faces are so over-exaggerated they look like emojis. It’s difficult to understand how the campers are reaching these heights of pleasure given that there’s about a foot of air between their crotches. More lukewarm American summer than hot and wet. AL.
Focus Features
The 17 worst sex scenes in film Damage You shouldn’t have sex with your son’s fiance. But you definitely shouldn’t if you end up making it look this bad. Jeremy Irons pounces on Juliette Binoche like a hulking bear before pulling her along the carpet (think of the burns). No wonder she said she didn’t enjoy having his dangly bits touching her. AL.
New Line Cinema
The 17 worst sex scenes in film If These Walls Could Talk 2 If these walls could talk they would say please stop having sex to Dido. They would also have something to say about the endless gooey shots of hands drifting over skin, pulling at hair and disappearing under sheets. It’s so soppy, I’m surprised Ellen DeGeneres and Sharon Stone don’t drip off the bed and onto the floor. AL.
HBO
The 17 worst sex scenes in film What Women Want What a lot of women don’t want is a sex scene with Mel Gibson. What women want even less is to watch a scene with so many cliches: a man talking to his penis in the bathroom. A light that turns on when you clap. A woman that wails so loud you can’t tell if she’s been run over by a truck or is mid-orgasm. AL.
Paramount Pictures
The 17 worst sex scenes in film Watchmen Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” is a great song, but it’s certainly not sexy. Watchmen’s widely ridiculed sex scene sees Malin Akerman unzipping a latex chest piece to the lyrics: “Now I’ve heard there was a secret chord, that David played, and it pleased the Lord”. Unfortunately, no one will be pleased by this display. AL.
Warner Bros
The 17 worst sex scenes in film Gone Girl This is horribly bad, but not because it’s a bad scene. More because you have to watch Rosamund Pike's crazed killer slit the throat of a guy while he’s still inside her. And then you have to watch the blood from his throat soak her red. And then you have to watch her continue to gyrate for another couple of seconds before realising necrophilia is a little too niche even for a psychopath such as herself. AL.
20th Century Fox
Cats , meanwhile, flourished at this week’s Razzie Awards , the annual ceremony recognising the worst in film. Out of eight nominations, it took home six awards.
Dench, who received a nomination for Worst Supporting Actress, previously revealed she had no idea she had been singled out for recognition , adding: “As far as I know, that’s a first.”
Join our commenting forum
Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies