This goddamn Furby movie better be a psychological thriller

Christopher Hooton
Friday 04 November 2016 17:11
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Another day, another kids' toy adaptation absolutely no-one asked for (remember the Beyblade one?).

The Weinstein Company co-head Bob Weinstein announced at the American Film Market (via Variety) a live-action/CGI hybrid film based around Furbys this week - you know, those dolls that were very briefly popular a long time ago and no longer have any kind of cultural currency in the digital age.

Even Hasbro, the makers of the Furby, accepted that the move is kind of ridiculous, with executive Stephen Davis saying of their search for a director for the project: “We’re out to David Fincher.”

He was joking, but that’s actually not a bad idea.

They could make a Prozac-laced, colourful kids movie that will no doubt bomb, or they could create some kind of Black Mirror-esque unsettling thriller about the toys malfunctioning.

Furbys were actually used to this end once by American Psycho author Bret Easton Ellis, who, in his mock memoir Lunar Park, is stalk by a nightmarish, possessed ‘Terby’ doll belonging his fictional stepdaughter.

Anything more edifying than celebrity-voiced adventure garbage is unlikely from the Furby film, but Davis at least realises it must have some semblance of a narrative to work.

“We think that this can resonate as a four-quadrant film,” he added. “It can’t just be a 90-minute commercial.”

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