Day Watch (15)

Manichaean balderdash. This sequel to Night Watch is another unwieldy slab of Russian vampirism, and assumes a thorough understanding of the rules of conflict between the respective forces of light and dark. The first 10 minutes – a missing hat, the chalk of fate, an escape to "second-level gloom" – threw me completely, as did the Matrix-style philosophical guff the characters continually spout. Even during its action sequences it is slow, confusing and apparently interminable; after two and a half hours the prospect of escaping to second- or even third-level gloom looks highly attractive.