DVD: Alvin and the Chipmunks 3: Chipwrecked (U)

Average life expectancy for women is 82 and 78 for men in the UK. Don't waste 87 mins of your precious life on this dismal children's caper.

Jason Lee, who once excelled in the foul-mouthed Chasing Amy and in My Name Is Earl, plays the carer for the tiresome Alvin (voiced by Justin Long) and his chirpy Chipmunk pals. This time around the squeaky-voiced crew are being naughty on a cruise ship, go overboard and end up stranded on an island. The world didn't need one of these, let alone three. "Ain't no stoppin' us now," they sing. Please stop now.