DVD: Anonymous (12)

The Independence Day director's totally unnecessary "conspiracy theory" drama wheels out the tiresome thesis that William Shakespeare was not the author of his plays.

It was actually the dashing Edward de Vere, the 17th Earl of Oxford (Rhys Ifans, the best thing about this tosh). There's lots of feverish plotting and politicking going on here, but very little suspense or sense. Shakespeare (Rafe Spall) is portrayed as a boorish buffoon; while Elizabeth I (played by Joely Richardson and Vanessa Redgrave) is a nympho-maniac who has spawned many "bastard" children, including De Vere. Overlong, offensive and dim.