Adapted from the first three books in a series of 12, The Vampire's Assistant is stuffed with ancient prophecies, opposing supernatural factions and a big top full of unused characters, but all that actually happens is that a boy (Chris Massoglia) joins a travelling circus and becomes the protégé of a 200-year-old vampire (John C Reilly).
His adventures haven't started, so watching the film is a bit like listening to the rules of football and then being sent back to the changing-room before kick-off.
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