DVD: Clash of the Titans (12)

Ralph Fiennes tries his hammy best (channelling a heady mix of Richard III, Fagin and Rigsby) as miffed Hades, god of the underworld, in this humourless and noisy Greek-myth actioner.

A vacant-looking Sam Worthington is angry Perseus, half-man, half-god and son of Zeus (played by the increasingly hopeless Liam Neeson). Hades has bumped off his family, so Perseus, understandably, is cross and embarks on a perilous mission to defeat him. Cue a succession of chaotic, poorly orchestrated action scenes – one after the other – in which various people (lord alone knows who) get bumped off. Terrible dialogue, awful acting and zero fun.