DVD: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (12)

The real piracy here is the looting of $1bn of box-office booty, especially after the gobbledygook of the previous two sequels.

Even if Johnny Depp's Captain Jack Sparrow is one of the great movie creations of the past decade, the star lazily fops his way through this tepid fourth voyage. Ian McShane and Penélope Cruz climb aboard, with Geoffrey Rush again chewing the yardarm. Disney hired the director of Chicago to reinvigorate the franchise – perhaps some trademark Fosse dance numbers would have helped? Apart from some spiky mermaids, the tides are most definitely out.