DVD: Red (12)

RED (Retired, Extremely Dangerous) follows Frank Moses (Bruce Willis), a retired CIA agent who buries the demons of his past with the help of young pensions officer Sarah Ross (Mary-Louise Parker) and his old CIA team (John Malkovich, Helen Mirren and Morgan Freeman).

The plot becomes just about clear halfway through and then you're bored. They beat the bad guy and bald Bruce gets the attractive Parker. You've seen this sort of action a million times before and I can't even recall a scene that would make a hyena laugh. I hope that, for the credibility of Mirren, Freeman, Parker and Malkovich, this film is buried in a hole.