Nativity 3: Dude, Where’s My Donkey?! Film review: Instantly forgettable

This is a movie that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever from a narrative point of view

HAND OUT PRESS PHOTOGRAPH / FILM STILL FROM THE MOVIE nativity 3 . DOWNLOADED FROM PANTHER (HAND OUT PRESS PHOTOGRAPH / FILM STILL FROM THE MOVIE nativity 3 . DOWNLOADED FROM PANTHER)

There have been many recent films based around memory loss, but few that most adults will want to forget as quickly as Nativity 3.

Many of us, like St Bernadette’s long-suffering headteacher (Celia Imrie) will be having nightmares for weeks to come about its ubiquitous “hero” Mr Poppy (Marc Wootton), who turns up anywhere and everywhere, especially when you least want to see him.

This is a movie that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever from a narrative point of view. The plot involves an Ofsted inspection, a wedding in New York and lots of excruciating song-and-dance routines involving flash mobs. Martin Clunes is the new teacher who loses his memory after being kicked in the head by a donkey, thereby putting his marriage to Sophie (Catherine Tate) at risk. As an exercise in cinematic pandemonium, the film probably has enough energy and bad jokes to keep the kids happy – but it may prove an ordeal for their parents.