The Truth About Love (15)

This Bristol-set romantic comedy is such an abomination that everyone in it should have paid to stop it being released. I'd have gladly chipped in myself.

It stars Jennifer Love Hewitt with an iffy English accent and an iffier haircut as a woman who tests the fidelity of her husband, Jimi Mistry, by sending him a flirtatious anonymous text. When he sends one back, she has an affair with him, in disguise.

Dougray Scott, meanwhile, plays a hunky solicitor who spends his copious free time renovating an old yacht, as you do. The script and acting are so amateurish that it's like a foreign film which has been badly dubbed into English.